


Where We Belong

by Rhiannyn



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: F/M, Romance, Selfer - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:14:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 56,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24484915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhiannyn/pseuds/Rhiannyn
Summary: The guards un-cuffed Seifer and handed him a black bag before pushing him toward the car. He seemed unsteady on his feet as he flexed his hands a moment. When he finally looked up at me, Seifer seemed to freeze in place. The expression on his face was still blank, so I kept on smiling at him in an attempt to be welcoming. He didn’t move at first, just kept on staring. His eyes were still a very vivid light green and the scar that mirrored Squalls was still prominent. Just as I was about to call him over to me, Seifer began walking slowly toward me. It was making me a bit uncomfortable how he just kept staring at me.Deciding to break the ice, I giggled and drawled out, “Need a ride, handsome?”Seifer stopped a couple of paces away from me, his expression confused. He covered his mouth to cough and said in a voice that seemed underused, “Yeah... I sure as hell could.”
Relationships: Seifer Almasy/Selphie Tilmitt
Comments: 14
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own FFVIII or it’s canon characters.

I never thought it would be possible to dread eating cake.

This was before I had been enlisted as a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding and had to try all sixteen different cakes she had in mind. Small pieces, mind you, but still -- SIXTEEN DIFFERENT SLICES! My stomach was dying a slow, painful death of being too full of sweet delicious morsels. I had skipped dinner in preparation for this, but that wasn’t enough. I didn’t know how Rinoa nor Quistis were still sitting upright seemingly effortlessly. It was all I could do to not slump over in my chair at this fancy bakery. I was breathing through my nose, resisting the urge to burp atrociously to relieve some of the pressure in my abdomen. I knew Rinoa would glower at me if I burped in such a nice place. 

I had originally thought this cake testing thing would be a cinch. I love sweets! But, it was hard to describe the cakes to my friend as anything other than “Extra delicious!” or “This one’s not as good as the last one.” Quistis was way more eloquent about the matter. She was currently telling Rinoa about how she enjoyed how moist the cake was and how the flavors compliment each other. I had just given Rinny a thumbs up, because I was busy trying to tell my stomach to stop rolling and feeling nauseous. 

Rinoa had made a chart for all sixteen of the cakes she wanted us to try. At the top, she had the names and ingredients of each cake. Then she had rows for all three of our opinions underneath each cake column. It was very fancy and professional looking. The baker here seemed eager to acquire her as a customer. The wedding between the Sorceress and the Headmaster of Balamb Garden was big news, especially here in Balamb City. The locals had hoped the duo would want to marry locally and they were correct. Rinoa had already made arrangements with the Balamb City Hotel next door to the bakery as their venue. The rest of what needed to be done were things like cakes (obviously), catering decisions, finalizing our bridesmaid dresses, and getting the decor Rinoa desired. We were going to be traveling to Esthar at some point to get these cute little firefly lights that were _only_ sold in one of their stores. No matter how many times Rinoa had asked about it, they did not do mail orders. I didn’t mind, I loved flying the Ragnarok and I knew that would be our mode of transportation. We could consider it a Girl’s Night Out or something!

“Well, I think that’s it,” Rinoa said as she finished her last comment on her cake chart. “I think Squall will be really pleased by all of the detail we’ve put into this.”

I stifled a giggle, knowing full well that Squall would most likely look at the chart, blink a few times, shrug, then tell her to choose her favorite. But, it made sense to at least let him look at the information in the case that he had an opinion. Squall wasn’t much of a sweets person, so he had left the task to us instead of going himself. At first, I had been super stoked! Now, I felt like I’d gained eight hundred pounds and wanted to burst. 

“Let me go talk to the baker a moment and we can head out,” Rinoa rose from her seat and hurried off to talk to the eager man at the registers. He was _very_ pleased that his local bakery was being considered as the cake place of choice for the wedding of the year. I could see his face fall a little bit when Rinoa did not have a decision right away, but she gave him her cheeriest and most sweet smile to assure him she would, indeed, be back to purchase a cake from him in the next few weeks before returning to our table. 

“I really like this place, Rinoa,” Quistis said as she gathered up her coat and purse. She sounded all knowledgeable and mature. “I think this will be much better than ordering from Dollet. Not that I have a problem with Dollet’s bakery, I just think the closer to your venue the better. Less risk of things going awry when you go local, you know?”

Rinoa nodded and flipped her hair, smiling her cute little grin, “I know! I’m so glad we tried this place. I love it. I can’t wait to finalize the decision on a cake.”

I didn’t bother buttoning my coat, but pulled the hood up so we could book it to the parking lot. It had been very stormy lately. The wind had even taken out a tree near the Balamb train station a few days ago. The three of us peered out of the entrance door, staring at the rain coming down in thick sheets. We all frowned and braced ourselves and I was suddenly grateful Balamb had built another parking lot behind the hotel and bakery. 

“Ughhh, let's go,” I said, not wanting to stand in the doorway any longer. I sort of wanted to go back and nap. Food coma was coming and I didn’t think I could resist it today. “C’mon girls, we can take a li’l bit o’ rain.” I pushed open the door and took off for the car, feeling more sluggish than normal. I was full dammit, I didn’t want to be running! My belly was jostling with each step and it felt _terrible_. I could feel all of the different cakes combining themselves into one big, huge, giga-stomachache. Blech.

Despite our slow jog to the car, we all got soaked. I threw myself head first into the back seat and slammed the door quickly, belting myself in while Rinoa and Quistis got settled in up front. We had a twenty minute drive back to Balamb Garden, assuming there wasn’t a lot of traffic on the road out of town. I yawned and felt my eyes instantly droop as Rinoa backed us out the parking lot. Her and Quistis began talking about cakes again. I zoned them out and let myself zonk out.

  
  


I woke up when we pulled into Garden’s garage. I could still hear the rain pounding away on the roof of the parking lot, this time there was a rumble of thunder. Ooh, scary! Stretching, I jumped out of the car and looked over at my friends.

“Ooh-hoo,” I said with a yawn. “I am tiiiired! Who knew eating cake would make you sleepy? Hee.”

“Aww, Selph,” Rinoa said looking both bemused and apologetic. “I have bad news for you though. Squall called while you were asleep in the car. He wants to see you first thing in his office.”

“Whaaaa?” I hung my head. “What for? What’s up?”

“I’m not sure actually,” Rinoa frowned. She didn’t like it when Squall kept stuff from her. “He wouldn’t say. He sounded a bit hurried and was glad to hear we were almost back to Garden. Seems urgent though, so your nap will have to wait. Thank you a ton for coming with and helping me out with this. You both are great friends.” Rinoa beamed at both Quistis and I.

“Ohhh!” I pounced on Rinoa, giving her a great, big hug. “You guys are both great friends to me too! I better get going though so Squally doesn’t get mad at me for dawdling. When’s the next bridesmaids date?”

Quistis answered for Rinoa, “I think we’re aiming for a couple weekends from now. We’re going to finalize our dresses, so we’ll be taking a trip to Timber for that.”

Rinoa nodded in agreement, “Yep! I’ll be trying on my dress one more time too. I think I’m going to have them add a sash around the middle. But, I’m not certain that will look good on me. My torso might be too long for that to look as flattering as it does in the bridal magazines. Still, I’m going to try it out and you guys can give me your opinion.”

“I think your dress looks perfect the way it is, but yeah!” I chirped, feeling a bit bewildered on how indecisive Rinoa was about some stuff. She always seemed to want to try different accessories and make adjustments. It was a good thing the owner of the shop in Timber was a friend of hers. If I were a dressmaker, I’d be irritated as all heck with Rinoa Heartilly. At least there were still five more months until the wedding. She had some time to fiddle around with everything. 

Without letting them say anything else, I saluted them both, “Off to see the Headmaster for reals now. Peace and love, girls!” I grinned at them both and walked briskly out of the parking lot.

Balamb Garden was pretty quiet for a Sunday evening. Though, it was still dinner time in the cafeteria so that was probably where the bulk of people were. Otherwise, they were getting their homework done in the dorms or the library or getting some training in before the first part of the field exams that began tomorrow. Quistis had been reinstated as a Professor several months ago and would be escorting four potential new SeeD’s to the Fire Cavern throughout the day tomorrow and five the next day and then our friend Zell would be taking students the rest of the week. Our fellow SeeD, Xu, would be taking a few here and there as well. I was crossing my fingers for all of them to pass and move onto the second part, but realistically I knew that maybe only half would. One of my nunchaku specialists was going tomorrow though and I was confident she would pass with flying colors, if she didn’t let her nerves get the best of her. The other two of my student's taking it this week... well, I wasn’t sure about them, Too cocky, not enough focus.

I wasn’t much of a teacher, but I did meet with all of the nunchaku-adept cadets twice a week. The old nunchaku Professor had quit three months ago to retire in Winhill, so Squall had appointed me as his successor. There weren’t many nunchaku specialists, only seven, so my classes were pretty easy-peasy. Outside of teaching two times a week; I was in charge of all Garden events (the official title is Garden Event Coordinator, how cool is that?), full-time SeeD who could be deployed at any time for a number of reasons (war zones, diplomatic purposes, body guarding, random tasks, etc...), and lead pilot of the Ragnarok airship who was also responsible for the upkeep and upgrading of the ship. I, Selphie Tilmitt, had a _very_ busy schedule. It was great though, I loved constantly having something to do. I rarely let it stress me out. I was good at being busy and multitasking. I could hold a Garden Festival meeting and grade papers at the same time. 

It was surprising and a little weird that Squall wanted to see me so urgently. It was even weirder that Rinoa didn’t know what it was about. Normally, Squall was the type to see us first thing in the morning. I didn’t have even an inkling of what he could want from me on a Sunday night. 

I trudged slowly to the elevator, still feeling sleepy and full. As rude as it sounded, I hoped Squall was quick about whatever he wanted. I wanted to go to bed early! Then, I could wake up before the field exams started and be available for anyone in a panic. Sometimes, even other students who weren’t mine would come talk to me. I wasn’t as intimidating as some of the other teachers. It was sort of nice to be considered trustworthy. There were a few regulars that would swing by my office to divulge worries about favoritism in classes or what to do if they failed. Generally, I liked to have an open-door policy with everyone. It was great they all felt comfortable coming to me. Sometimes though, when times were busy or I needed some quiet-time, I’d have to shut my office doors and put my “DO NOT DISTURB” sign up. 

The elevator let me off on the third floor and I hurried to the Headmaster’s office doors, knocking loudly to announce my presence. Squall opened them, a look of relief on his normally stoic face. I raised an eyebrow and followed him inside, taking a seat without even being told to. I folded my hands in my lap, realizing that I was still wearing a raincoat. Ah well, at least it wasn’t super wet anymore.

“What’s up, Squally?” I asked, ignoring the frown on his face at his nickname. I gave everyone nicknames. He needed to deal with it and get used to it already! “You look serious, everything okay?”

“I have an urgent task for you. First thing tomorrow morning,” he said as he sat down across from me, adjusting a stack of papers before pulling one of them forward to lay in front of him on the desk. 

“Whaaa?” I was surprised at that. What could be going on that he wanted me deployed first thing in the morning? I was going to miss the field exams if it took too long! It wouldn’t do me any good to complain about it though, so I went ahead and began firing questions. “Where am I going? Is something wrong? Who do I gotta beat up?!”

“As you know, the Sorceress Memorial was converted into a makeshift prison after the war to deal with those under the influence of the Sorceresses,” Squall began slowly, his eyes flitting from mine and back down to the paper in front of him. 

“Yeah?” I knew this information already. They were using the place to determine if the victims of Sorceress mind control were legitimate or not. A lot of people who had turned on SeeDs and attacked Esthar had claimed someone or something made them do it, but some were exposed as rebels and were being transferred to the Estharian prison for life sentences. It was a hot topic down in the Estharian continent. 

“That’s where Seifer is stationed too,” Squall said almost awkwardly. He stared right at me as a silence fell over us.

I had known that too. It made sense after all, since Seifer had been deeply influenced by Sorceresses. There was no doubt in my mind that mind control was a big factor in Seifer’s role in the war. I only remembered bits and pieces of him from childhood and the few times we had fought against him, but from what I gathered, his already rebellious and aggressive nature had made him a prime candidate for Sorceress control. There were many who testified against him from Balamb Garden who claimed that fighting against SeeD was in his personality to begin with. His case was taking the longest, it had been almost a full year since he had been arrested. It had been over a year since all of us had taken down Ultimecia, which seemed hard to believe. Felt like yesterday sometimes. 

Squall continued before I could say anything else, “He has been pardoned... mostly. Some of his actions were influenced by Sorceress and the rest, well, they were of his own accord. As he is not an Estharian rebel, they don’t quite think he belongs in their prison system. I received his paperwork this afternoon. The Estharian government is requesting Balamb Garden take custody of him. He would be under some sort of house arrest for two years to assess his behavior and he would be under my command. He owes 600 hours of community service and he needs to re-do his final year of SeeD training. If I agree to these terms, that is. They are giving me the final word. I could have him jailed in their system instead.”

“What are you going to do?” I asked, though certain I knew what Squall’s response would be. Seifer’s punishment seemed pretty harsh, but I wasn’t terribly surprised by it. He had done a lot of bad things, even if some of it was under someone else's influence. Two years of house arrest meant he would be stuck in Balamb Garden unless escorted by a member of SeeD. Two years meant he would have time to repeat that last year of classes, pass the Fire Cavern exam and the live field exam. Even if he made it through all of that, Seifer would still have about eight or nine months left on house arrest that he could spend as a full-fledged SeeD. Not a bad deal for someone like Seifer, but there were still a lot of people who hated him and anyone else who had been under Sorceress command. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was a good chance for him to get back on his feet. This was good news, but didn’t explain what exactly Squall needed me for.

“I’m accepting the offer,” Squall replied slowly, staring right at me with a blank look on his face. “I have already signed the paperwork and contacted President Loire and his head of military about my decision. We both want to move Seifer quickly, so our agreement is verbal at the moment. According to President Loire, Seifer has agreed to return to Garden. I will be arranging his classes to begin with the start of next term in two weeks. I am giving him community service in the cafeteria, one-to-two hours each day to help wash the dirty dishes and empty the trash bins, and he will be under your command for the weekly Social Committee meetings. You may put him to use for the Garden Festival as you see fit, Selphie. I will provide a log for you to record his hours each week. I estimate it will take at least sixteen months to finish out his Community Service.”

“Oh,” I said, a little bit bewildered by all of the information. I couldn’t imagine Seifer enjoying working on anything for the Garden Festival or anything else I had in mind, but I could use the extra help. We were aiming for early July for the Garden Festival and there was still so much to do. Not to mention the big Leonhart-Heartilly wedding was in mid-June, so my plate was super duper full with everything going on for both events and all of my normal stuff. An extra hand was an extra hand, and if Seifer wanted freedom, he’d have to suck it up and help me out! I nodded at Squall, “Yeah! Alright. I’m cool with extra hands on deck. Thanks, Squally.”

“There is one last thing,” Squall said. He stood up from his desk and walked over to the window, staring out at the storm that was still blundering on. “I need you to be our liaison with the Estharian government and President Loire for Seifer’s retrieval.”

“Me?” I squeaked, wondering why he would send me over someone like Quistis or even Xu... or hell, going _himself_. I definitely noticed the way Squall had referred to Laguna was President Loire. Squall wasn’t taking the news of having a father so well and kept his interactions with Sir Laguna to a minimum. At least Rinoa had been able to convince him to invite Sir Laguna to the wedding. From what I had heard from Rinny, the Estharian president was trying his best to keep in contact with Squall and be a part of his life. I supposed Squally didn’t want to see Laguna; and Quisty, Zell, and Xu would be busy with Fire Cavern field exams. Still, I could have taken one of their places as field exam escort if need be. 

“Yes, you,” Squall said, glancing at me over his shoulder. I rose from the chair and joined him at the window, staring out into the dark gloom with him. Squall sighed and turned to face me, “I know this sounds bad, Selphie, but I need you to go because you are the most inconspicuous. We don’t want to attract a lot of attention to the exchange. President Loire and I have arranged for you to take the Ragnarok and land in Esthar’s Airstation. You will be loaned a plain, non-Seed, non-military rental car to take to the Sorceress memorial for pick up. There are so many ships now that look like our Ragnarok that there shouldn’t be any questions. They have backup plans if anyone suspects something about you being a wannabe popstar I think. Whatever. You will pick up Seifer and take him back to the airstation. Military personnel will be making sure the transition from car to airship is seamless. I am not sending anyone else, Selphie. It will just be you.”

Those final words nearly made me shudder. A solo-mission. Because I was _inconspicuous_. I wasn’t too offended by those words. I’d heard it before -- I didn’t look like a SeeD should look. I was small and scrawny; bubbly and immature. It was hard for many to believe that I was a part of the military, which had worked in our favor before. Not many would expect someone like me to whip out a pair of nunchaku and whack ‘em unconscious all the while having access to high-level magic and GF’s. I understood fully why Squall wanted to send me. Despite our names being famous for saving the world, not many knew exactly what we all looked like. Squall and Rinoa were the faces of our crusade. I could wear something casual and keep my hair down flat and no one would even know who I was or think I was with SeeD. 

“I understand,” I told him with a smile. I was sort of excited, I never went on solo-missions! It was still a bummer to be missing the field exams, but this was exciting. I hoped it would all go smoothly. I just had one question. “So, Seifer will be okay right? I mean, it’ll just be him and I on the way back.” I wasn’t super worried, but wanted to be safe rather than sorry.

“If you have to handcuff him, do it, and report any incidents to me. He is on a thin rope, so I doubt he will be doing anything to jeopardize his future,” Squall told me firmly. He put a hand on my shoulder, looking a bit awkward as he did it. “Thanks, Selphie. You were the only person I had in mind for this.”

“Wow, Squally, you sure know how to flatter a lady,” I beamed at him and laughed. “When am I to leave?”

“0400 hours sharp,” Squall said, removing his hand from my shoulder and returning to look out at the rain. “Nida and Zell will be seeing you off in the morning. It takes about six hours to fly to Esthar in good conditions, but with the weather as it is... I estimate closer to seven or eight. Nida is having some of the mechanics double and triple check the autopilot functions and evasive maneuverings as we speak. I expect you will arrive in the early afternoon. The drive to Sorceress Memorial will be about an hour-and-a-half. I don’t expect the exchange will be long. You will radio me as soon as you and Seifer are back on the Ragnarok together. I know this will be a long day for you, that is why I am requesting you do not hesitate to use the autopilot feature for your way home if you feel the need to take a nap in the cockpit. I don’t expect you to return until very late, but I will be there to greet you upon return and take care of Seifer.”

Squall was so thorough with everything! He really was a great leader, even if he didn’t think so. I hadn’t expected him to lay out my entire schedule for me, but he’d thought of it all just about. I knew he would probably have the Ragnarok stocked with food and water for my trip too. He’d be kind enough to let me upgrade the small fridge the Ragnarok had to a bigger one that actually had a small freezer too! 

“Aye-Aye, Captain,” I saluted him and took a step away from the window as a very loud rumble of thunder sounded. “Jeez, I hope that storm lets up a little bit before I leave.”

“As do I,” Squall said with a sigh. “If they weren’t so insistent upon getting Seifer out of there ASAP, I would have asked to wait until our storm had passed. Just fly safely. If you truly feel unsafe, turn around and we will figure something else out. You’re an excellent pilot, I don’t think a storm can stop you.”

I laughed. Squall sure had a lot of faith in me and that made me pretty happy. Still grinning, I asked him one more question, “Anything else I need to know?”

“I think that’s it. Get a good night’s rest... and be sure to dress--”

“Incognito!” I finished for him with a fist in the air. “That I can do. I have some pretty cute civilian clothes, if I say so myself.” 

Squall nodded, “Sorry I won’t be seeing you off.”

“Nah, it’s cool, Nida and Zell will make sure I’m off smoothly. Don’t even fret,” I reassured him. “I’ve got this.”

Nodding again, Squall moved over to his desk and grabbed the paperwork he had been looking at when I arrived. Squall handed it to me, “Bring this with you. It’s for Laguna. My signature on the agreement. Don’t lose it.”

“Gotcha,” I nodded and clutched the papers tight. “I’ll go pass out now. I’m already exhausted from how much cake your fiancee made me eat! I seriously thought I was going to explode Squally...”

Squall’s lips twitched as if he wanted to smile, but he didn’t. He sat down in his chair and shrugged a single shoulder. I knew that meant I was free to go, so I did. Without another word, I walked out of the office and back to the elevator. I was sort of excited. A solo-mission! All mine! I loved it when people had faith in me. I’d spent so much of my life trying to prove I was good enough for the military, proving that I was an adept fighter. Everyone saw a small, weak little girl and I had been determined to prove them wrong. My adoptive mother had always told me not to let preconceived notions get me down. She also told me to never judge a book by it’s cover. My mom was an awesome lady... and suddenly, I remembered I hadn’t called in a couple of weeks. Oops. Her and my adoptive dad had just moved back to the slowly-being-rebuilt Trabia City. Mom had been a teacher at Trabia Garden and thankfully, her and dad had been on vacation in Dollet when Trabia had been blown to smithereens. There were two less deaths for me to mourn. Still, good things were underway for Trabia. Squall and Rinoa both had been wonderful enough to help with funding the rebuilding of the Garden and the city. Squall had used some of Balamb’s reserves and Rinoa had dipped into her massive savings account after reconciling with her father, General Caraway. I was well overdue for a visit to my old home, but it would have to wait. I had way too much going on right now to take a vacation. Still... I owed mom a phone call. I would have to remember to do so after my mission. 

As I got off on the first floor, I spotted a familiar face walking by the steps. I beamed and hurried down the steps, trying to pretend my belly wasn’t still stuffed, though it was hurting much less than it was earlier.

“Hey! Irvy!” I called, waving my hands to get his attention, the paperwork waving with it. I immediately pulled that hand down, not wanting to ruin the important documents I needed to give Sir Laguna tomorrow.

My close friend and ex-boyfriend, Irvine Kinneas turned around and beamed at me, tipping his hat in my direction. He stopped moving and waited for me to catch up to him. I was so glad that he and I had been able to maintain a good relationship. We had been quick to jump into something serious after we defeated Ultimecia, and that had been what we both needed at the time. Emotional and physical comfort had done us both very well, but unfortunately things sort of petered out after we got all of that out of the way. It was sort of sad to think about the majority of the good parts of our relationship had been the passionate sex. We had both been so desperate to fill the void of losses we had both encountered and enjoy the fact that we were still alive after everything. I’d never had a serious relationship before and I’d never been physical beyond innocent kisses until Irvine. We seemed to fit so well together at first... until we got past the need to constantly remind ourselves that we were alive and safe. Our dates were awkward; we could never agree on what to do. We didn’t even like the same movies. Irvy always wanted to watch romantic comedies and westerns, while I preferred horror or action films. We didn’t even like the same foods. I wasn’t a picky eater in the slightest and would eat just about anything put in front of me, but Irvine only really liked meat, bread, and potatoes, and his meat had to be cooked _just right_. It wasn’t so bad, really, but it made things hard when we wanted to go to restaurants or have a night out. Irvine would want to explore clubs and nightlife, while I would suggest museums and quiet retreats like Winhill with lots of nature to look at. We stuck it out for eight months, but beyond our physical enjoyment with each other, there wasn’t much else. It was mutual that we split up. I sometimes hoped we could get back together once we settled down and got our lives together, but that probably wasn’t realistic. We were still great friends though and sometimes, though very rarely these days, we would indulge in some friends-with-benefits situations, though I knew he went out on plenty of dates with different girls around Balamb. Lately though, I was way too busy with everything and Irvine was finishing his SeeD training here at Balamb. He wouldn’t be starting his field exams this term, but the next if he continued to pass everything with flying colors.

“Hey, Seffie. How was your gals day out?” Irvine asked, offering me an arm.

I linked my arm in his and we walked toward the dormitory halls together, “It was pretty good. But, gosh, Irvy, I ate soooo much cake. I thought I was going to die!” I almost told him about my mission from Squall, but I decided not to. Though Squall hadn’t said not to tell anyone; he had mentioned being inconspicuous. I adored Irvine, but he didn’t need to know about it. Not right now anyway. 

“How many cakes did you have to try?” Irvine asked, chuckling.

“SIXTEEN!” I exclaimed. “Sixteen freaking slices! My stomach _still_ kind of hurts...”

“You poor doll,” Irvy simpered as we turned down the hall of dormitories. His dorm was in the first section, where all of the cadets were living. Mine was in the SeeD hall, which was further down and around another corner. “Did Rinoa decide on one?”

“No, not yet,” I sighed. “She took notes though and will be discussing them with Squall, I guess. I don’t think he’s going to care what the cake tastes like. Honestly, I think if he had it his way, he would just get hitched in a chapel in Deling City and call it a day.”

Irvine laughed and nodded his head. Irvine had such a good laugh. There was something genuine and sort of cute about it. I had always loved his smiles, too. Irvine stopped in front of his door, letting go of my arm, “Well, I’m glad you had such a good day, doll.”

I also loved that he still called me doll. It was a dumb sort of nickname, but it made me feel important. No matter what had happened between us, I was still his Seffie and he was my Irvy. Grinning at him, I nodded my head, “Yuppers. I’m soooo tired now though. I’m going to drop as soon as my head hits the pillow, I bet.”

“I bet,” Irvy echoed. He slipped his hands into his pockets and leaned against this door. “One of your nunchaku girls is going to the Cavern tomorrow, yeah?”

“Mmhmm, Merissa Paes. She’s always in my office when you come around. Pigtails. Blonde. Kinda tall and bulky,” I wasn’t very descriptive, but I knew Irvine would know who I was talking about. Irvy generally came to visit me in my office between his afternoon classes. Merissa often stayed late to talk to me. I was pretty sure Merissa found Irvine dreamy, too.

“I remember,” Irvine replied. “Think she’ll make it?”

“Definitely,” I said definitively. “As long as she keeps her wits about her, anyway. She gets nervous easily. I’m crossing my fingers for her.”

“I’ll cross mine too,” Irvine smiled at me. “Listen Seffie, I’ve got some homework to do for Instructor Aki. He’s been on my case since I was late last month. He thinks I’m trying to pull favors with Squall to make SeeD. Instructor Aki is a real pain, Selph. I wish I could have been in Quistis’s class, but they wouldn’t let me transfer to hers. I already know a lot about GF’s and all, having used them with our gang, but the history is pretty dull.”

“Yeah,” I sympathized. Instructor Aki was the worst. He was so strict and hard on his students, but he was really smart when it came to knowing about GF’s and their history, as well as junctioning and stat boosting. I knew Irvine would pass his class though, with no problems. As long as he stayed off Aki’s bad side. I threw my arms around Irvine and kissed his cheek, “Night Irvy! Good luck on all the homework.”

“Night, doll. Sweet dreams,” he winked at me before pulling out his keycard and opening his door. I wandered off to my own room, yawning the entire way.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The rain had let up just a smidge when I got up to get ready for my mission. It was three-fifteen in the morning and I was heading to my morning shower, still yawning a bit even though I had slept enough. I took my time to blowdry my hair after the shower, but didn’t bust out my flat iron for my normal hairstyle. I had to be  _ inconspicuous _ after all. I applied a tiny bit of eyeliner and mascara for the day, adding onto my attempt at concealing my status as a SeeD. I rarely bothered with makeup, but figured it wouldn’t hurt to further my facade. As I dressed myself in my casual outfit, I noticed the lack of thunder and lighting. Booyaka! I had not been looking forward to flying through that. I just hoped it would stay that way. 

Grabbing my purse, my travel bag, the documents for Laguna, and my nunchaku, I paused in the doorway to make sure I was set. I had Shiva’s and Cactuar’s crystals ready to be junctioned to me if I needed it, as well as a healthy supply of curative magic and potions on me. I also kept 99 Blizzaga’s, 50 Demi’s, 100 Cura's, and 62 Flares with me. The tiny colored crystals tinkled as I opened my bag and assessed what I had. I could probably use some Water or Thunder magic to vary it up, but I liked ice. Besides, I had Cactuar for neutral damage. I sure hoped I didn’t need to use any of it though. I prefered to start with a clean slate, not wanting to equip myself with anything just yet. I wasn’t very keen on having the GF’s in my head for long. They were noisy sometimes and made my brain fuzzy for a while. Good research was being developed to reduce the risk of using them and I could feel a vast difference if I used a Mind Cleanse potion afterward, but there was still a bit of that groggy, empty feeling that lingered behind after a GF use. I also didn’t like keeping magic junctioned to me either. It had always weirded me out to have that tingling, elemental feeling in my fingertips that seemed to want to burst free from me. I was good at keeping my junctioned magic under control, but it still felt bizarre. Despite all that time we were out taking down evil and whooping Sorceress ass, I never got used to the constant feeling of magic and GF’s inside me. I even slept junctioned and ready to go... it had made my dreams absolutely nutso. And I’m not talking about the Laguna flashbacks from Ellone type of nutso.

Garden was absolutely silent as I made my way to the parking lot and airship station. My white flats seemed to make a ton of noise as I traipsed down the hallways. Clickity-clack, clickity-clack. I’m surprised I didn’t wake anyone up. I was actually trying to be quiet!

As Squall had promised, Nida and Zell were both waiting for me next to Ragnarok’s landing pad. The engines were on and I could see Zell had a bag of supplies for me at his feet. I smiled, excited to get my mission underway.

“Morning boys!” I cooed loudly, adjusting the purse on my shoulder and the nunchaku in my hand. “I’d hug you both, but I’ve got my hands full at the moment.” I smiled at them widely.

“Hi Selph. Morning,” Zell said with a big yawn. “I’m  _ tired _ , man.”

“Morning, Selphie,” Nida said. He was almost as serious as Squall was and definitely a bit anti-social. Nida was a good pilot, too. He’d been our pilot before we got Ragnarok and had been cruising around in Balamb Garden after we learned it could go mobile. He was my backup lead pilot. We were both madly in love with the Ragnarok and treated it like a baby. That fact was probably why Nida and I got along so well together.

“Everything ready?” I asked, knowing the answer was going to be yes. Nida was very thorough, as well Squall. Zell was just here to help. 

“Affirmative. Engines are in superb condition. Radio has been confirmed to be in working order as well. Fuel supply is sufficient for a trip to Esthar and a half. You will fill up in Esthar regardless. Supplies are on board, mostly,” Nida motioned to the bag sitting by Zell’s left foot. “Are you battle ready, just in case?”

“Yes, I have two GF’s, 100 Cura’s... Blizzaga, Demi, and Flare magic's. A few potions as well,” I recited my travel bags contents to Nida, hoping he found it sufficient enough.

“D’you want to take my Quetzalcoatl?” Zell asked, reaching into his pocket for the yellow crystal. “Just in case?”

“Oh, no,” I held up my hands in protest. “Shiva and Cactuar will serve me fine. I don’t think I will be engaging any hostile enemies or creatures. I’ll be doing my best to avoid it anyway. I won’t be out of the car or airship long enough to encounter anything dangerous.”

“Sounds sufficient to me,” Nida replied, eyeing Zell’s GF crystal until it was put away. “There are reserve X-Potions on board in case need be. Try not to use them unless there is an emergency. They do not come cheaply these days.” Nida saluted me and then held out a hand, “Can I take your bag?”

“Oh, sure?” I shrugged the travel bag off of my shoulder and into Nida’s waiting hands. He carried it up the ramp for me and I followed. Zell trailed behind me with his extra bag of supplies. 

I loved being in the Ragnarok. There was a smell about it that just made me excited. It was almost like a cross between new-car smell and engine grease. Sounded revolting, but I loved it. I set my nunchaku down on a little table in the passenger’s room and looked around. Zell was setting up my dry food supplies on a little counter by the fridge I had installed. I eyed the supplies warily, wondering what he’d brought me. I was relieved to see some dried fruit, bread, and some of my favorite candy. Zell even held up a couple of comic books at me before setting those down on the counter. 

Zell met my eyes and grinned, “I figured a little sugar would keep you going. There’s sandwich stuff in the fridge and a bunch of drinks. Probably way too much for a day trip, but in case you get stuck somewhere because of the weather you’ll be okay. There’s enough for the pick-up too.” I didn’t miss the scowl that crossed his face. Zell had never liked Seifer and would not enjoy having him around Garden again.

“Thanks guys!” I dropped my purse down next to my nunchaku and flung my arms around Zell. Then, I bounced over to Nida and gave him a much more casual hug. “I think I’m ready to go.” I looked at my watch. “0415, I better head out. I want to reach Esthar by the afternoon if I can. I’ll be in contact if anything gets sticky out there.”

Nida and Zell headed back toward the ramp out of the airship. Both wished me luck and went to the arrival/departures deck to watch me take off. I grabbed my nunchaku and my purse, flipped the switch to raise and put away the ramp and settled down in the cockpit. I tucked the nunchaku under my seat so they didn’t roll around and get scuffed or anything. I flung my purse over the second-in-command chair, since I didn’t have a companion. 

With a couple of button presses, I removed the Ragnarok from park mode and began to push the airship toward the runway, slowly giving myself more speed. The runway was new, since we’d acquired an airship in our travels. For a while, it was parked just outside Balamb Garden with people watching it. Squall had quickly decided to expand the parking lot into a landing station as well for the Ragnarok to have safe keeping. It was awesome. 

“Aaaaand, up we go!” I cried as I full-throttled the speed with one hand and brought this baby into the air with the other. “Woohoo! We’re flying!” I loved flying! It was exhilarating. I quickly activated the windshield wipers and checked my course for Esthar. I was estimated to arrive in 6 hours and 3 minutes. “Booyaka!” I said cheerfully, hoping the weather stayed as it was. 

I wasn’t a big fan of autopilot, but after about an hour-and-a-half, I was starting to get hungry. I flipped the switch for autopilot, turned up the volume for alerts and headed to the fridge for a 0600 sandwich. I was pleased to see they had both roast beef and turkey, as well as some cheddar cheese. Zell knew exactly how I wanted my sandwiches. I quickly put it together (extra cheese, two slices of roast beef, two slices of turkey, no condiments, and some lettuce!) and snagged one of the iced coffees sitting in the door of the fridge before heading back to the cockpit. I turned the volume back down on the console now that I was seated again.

The ship remained in autopilot while I ate and I fiddled with the radio to catch some news. It was pretty boring stuff. Mostly talk about the crummy weather in the Balamb region that was moving it’s way toward Esthar. Great, of course, that was the way I was heading. I was following the bad weather! What a bummer! When the news didn’t seem to offer me anything interested, I turned it to music. I had left a couple of Golden Chocobo’s CDs in here ages ago and luckily, no one had taken them out. They were still in the player and everything. Bouncing in my chair as I ate my food, I hummed along to the dancey beat.

Around 0730 the music cut out to tell me I was receiving a radio call. I pressed the big green RECEIVE button and chirped cheerfully, “Ragnarok pilot Selphie Tilmitt speaking!”

“Selphie. It’s Squall,” the stoic, monotone voice echoed from the speakers around me. I quickly turned the volume down a bit.

“Hello, Commander!” I said cheerfully, taking a sip of my second iced coffee. “Good morning!”

“How is your flight so far? How far out are you?” Squall ignored my morning’s greetings, jumping straight to the questions.

“Pretty good. It’s still rainy, but nothing too crazy happening. I’m estimated to arrive in Esthar at 1025 hours,” I told him as I glanced over to the navigation screen for a moment for confirmation. “The weather in Esthar is starting to get pretty grim, so I might have trouble landing. We’ll see what it looks like when I get there though. I should be able to manage it.”

“I have already asked Estharian staff to inform you by 0900 of any landing hazards. They have the Ragnarok’s radio code and will call you if there are any concerns. Be prepared to circle the landing station, just in case. Did you remember the documents I gave you?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, I’ve got them. I’ll make sure Sir Laguna gets it.” 

“Alright. Fly safe, Tilmitt. I’m signing off now.”

“Bye, Squally.”

  
  


I went back to my music and piloting through the rain that seemed to be growing thicker as I crossed into Estharian airspace. Still no thunder and lightning, which was a bonus. As Squall had informed me of, an Estharian airstation control manager called me at 0900 on the dot, informing that the rain was thick, but should not impede my landing. The nice man recommended I circle a few times as I lowered myself to the dock, just to be safe. Vision was getting rough, but I had faith I could land this beast with no problem. 

Esthar’s dock lights were visible and I began to make my descent. I circled over the docking station, carefully watching both my navigation screen and looking outside my window at the lights that light up the landing dock. I circled once more, as I continued to slow down the airship. When my navigation system told me I was centered over the docking pad, I radioed the airstation manager again. He gave me the okay to land and I slowly let my baby drop. I whooped loudly as my wheels hit solid ground and I felt the locking system engage. I was enveloped by darkness as the elevator took me and my ship down to the underground parking.

The crawl downward to underground Esthar was long, so I quickly radioed Squall and left a message that I had landed at 1032 hours and would be getting my rental car soon. I fished my nunchaku out from beneath my seat and grabbed my purse and yellow travel bag. I snuck a few pieces of candy into my purse before I saw the green light telling me I had parked and could now come off board. Flipping the switch for the ramp, I waited for it to descend and the door to open.

I was greeted by four Estharian airstation employees, two Estharian military personnel, and a man in a hooded gray robe. It only took a moment for me to realize the man in the robe was President Laguna Loire, hiding from the curious civilians. I beamed, unable to help the flutter in my stomach. He was a bit older looking these days, but he was still incredibly handsome. I wasn’t planning on putting the moves on him or anything! He was my friend's dad, for Hyne’s sake! Still, he was a looker.

“Greetings, Sir Laguna!” I said cheerful and bounded down the ramp. “Whew, that rain is something, isn’t it?”

“I am pleased you made it safely, Miss Tilmitt,” Laguna said quietly, his eyes darting around cautiously. His guards stayed very close to him as he approached me to shake my hand. “You have excellent piloting skills.”

“Thank you, thank you!” I grinned. I could see the looks of disbelief from the airstation employees. Yeah, boys, take a good look! This tiny little girl can pilot a badass airship all by herself. BOOYAKA! I presented the signed paperwork to Laguna, “This is from Commander Leonhart. The official agreement.”

“Perfect,” Laguna took it and glanced it over before handing it to one of his guards. “Listen, we have a vehicle ready for you. The windows are tinted, so you and the prisoner shouldn’t cause much of a ruckus or anything. It’s one of our newer models, a four-door SUV type. It has a built-in warning system to alert you of any aggressive creatures in the area. The exterior has been built with anti-magic and bulletproof materials in case any of the rebels catch wind of this.”

My eyebrows rose at this. Laguna was making this sound much more dangerous than Squall had. What was this about rebels? This car sounded like serious business. Squall had mentioned a non-military car... but, I wasn’t going to question it. I cleared my throat and smiled politely, “Rebels? Commander Leonhart didn’t mention anything about that.”

The President put a hand behind his hooded head, looking sheepish, “We haven’t discussed the matter very much. It’s nothing to worry about just yet. We’ve been handling the matter. Some people aren’t very happy about some of the Sorceress-influenced individuals being let go.”

“I guess I’m not surprised,” I said slowly. I wasn’t surprised at all, I had heard the arguments from people even at Garden who thought any and all who sided with the wrong side should be condemned. The way President Laguna was talking though made me a little worried. I decided not to say anything though and would speak to Squall about it when I returned. “I’m sure everything will be fine, sir.”

Laguna nodded slowly, not looking fully convinced, “Well, enough about that. I’m so excited for Squall’s wedding.”

“Yeah! I am too!” I quipped cheerfully. I could see how excited Laguna was that he was even being invited. Dropping the bomb about being Squall’s father had been a huge W-T-F moment for all of us. If you add in the fact that Laguna didn’t even know about Squall until Ellone had found and told him... yeah, serious drama. Laguna seemed eager to jump into the Super Dad role and from what Rinoa had told me, the President wanted to drop by Balamb sometime soon, but Squall was avoiding it. 

“Mr. President, we need to get Miss Tilmitt to the car,” one of the guard’s interrupted Laguna before anything more could be said. 

Laguna went from cheerful to dejected again in seconds. His eyes were as dark and stormy as the weather outside. He put a hand on my back to move me along and the whole entourage escorted me across the airship lot and out a side door that led to a small alley between that and the rental car station.. A sleek, navy blue SUV was parked right outside the alleyway where a man in a green button-up and khakis was waiting against the passenger’s side door.

“He’s one of my men,” Laguna told me unnecessarily, his hand still on my back. He used his free hand to adjust his hood in case anyone walking by saw us. “His name’s Temper, isn’t that funny? He doesn’t have a temper at all...”

I chuckled politely as we stopped in front of the man called Temper. Temper was actually quite shy, he couldn’t even meet my eyes as he gave me the keys to the rental car. Instead, he stared at his shiny black shoes as he spoke to me.

“It runs smoothly. G-g-good gas mileage. Protective o-outer shell--”

“Relax, Temper, I gave her the information about the vehicle already,” Laguna said warmly, a smile on his face. He turned to me and held out a hand for me to shake, “Safe travels, Miss Tilmitt. I won’t be able to see you off, but Temper will be available to collect the keys for the car. You can park it here again and enter through that side door. Temper and the airship team will be hanging around keeping busy until you come back.”

“Thank you,” I replied and headed around to the driver’s side of the car. Without further word, President Loire, Temper, the guards, and the airship team disappeared through the side door and back into the airstation lot. I put my travel bag and nunchaku in the back seat and tossed my purse into the passenger’s seat. I looked around the empty area as I started the car and eased it into the roads. Holy Hyne this engine was  _ quiet _ . 

There was a little bit of traffic getting out of the busy city of Esthar. I found myself delayed at the exit I wanted to take as Estharian guards were dealing with a small collision that had been moved to the side of the road. Once I was out onto the open road, everything was clear and empty. The majority of the other cars were heading to the train station that had recently opened up to the north of Esthar. It allowed access to Trabia and Shumi Village. The other travelers were off who-knew-where, but few were headed where I was going and that was okay with me. The closer I got to the Sorceress Memorial, the less people I saw. I did see a Malboro off in the distance though and I vowed to keep this vehicle very far from that beast. I hated Malboro’s. They were  _ awful _ .

Three guards outside of the Sorceress Memorial stopped me as I approached. They motioned for me to park a bit away from the building in a designated area and for me to roll down my window.

“Identification,” one of them said. It was a woman! It was hard to tell with the helmets they wore, but the voice was definitely feminine. 

I fished in my purse for my SeeD I.D. and provided it to the woman. I noticed her left hand was wrapped tightly around the hilt of a katana strapped to her hips. I hoped she wasn’t going to pull it out. They were expecting me so once they compared my picture to my face, they nodded and let me exit the car. I wasn’t allowed to enter the Sorceress memorial, so the woman and another guard remained with me at the car while the third went inside the memorial to let the staff know I was here to pick up Seifer Almasy.

Just as I was about to try to start a conversation with the guards left with me, they shuffled off closer to the building but still faced me as if they expected me to do something wrong. I frowned, feeling a bit offended. They could have  _ at least _ said good afternoon or something. Sheesh. I glanced at my watch and sighed. It was 1256 and I still had to drive back to Esthar and fly us home. I was going to be super tired by the time we got back! My stomach flip-flopped as I thought about just how long I had to spend with Seifer Almasy by myself. I doubted we would speak to each other much. He would probably go grump somewhere and sleep while I flew us home. That was okay with me. I could sing along to my music and snack on some dried fruit. I was already getting hungry again. 

I tapped my foot impatiently as I waited. The rain had stopped, but it was a little chilly outside and I wasn’t really dressed for it. I had put on a blue, sleeveless dress that had a white sash tied around the middle, a white cardigan, and white flats. My only accessories were my watch and my normal shell necklace. I’d gone for extra casual, extra INCONSPICUOUS! But, not really crummy-weather appropriate. Being outside and waiting for them to bring me Seifer hadn’t been on my mind. I pulled the cardigan around myself and tried not to get sassy with the guards who were still staring at me. 

I wondered if this deal would work out for Seifer. It was no secret he and Squall didn’t get along well. Seifer was hot-headed and kind of a big jerk. Maybe prison had humbled him, at least a little bit. Who knew what exactly he had been going through in the Sorceress Memorial though. I couldn’t imagine being interrogated and tested to figure out if you were mind-controlled or not was any fun. Well, Squall had given me permission to handcuff him if need be and I had a pair in my travel bag. I’d handcuff him and knock him out with my nunchaku if I needed to. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to that though.

When the doors to the Sorceress Memorial opened and they brought out a thin, scraggly blonde man wearing nothing but gray, I felt my stomach twist. Seifer looked  _ terrible _ . Sweet Hyne, he needed a haircut. I hope he had been showered recently, but as I stared at him, I noticed he didn’t really look dirty. Which was great, since I didn’t want to be stuck with a smelly person the whole way home. Definitely in dire need of a haircut and shave though... and probably a good meal or two. His normally short blonde hair was almost shoulder-length and untidy; as if it had been carelessly washed and left to dry unbrushed. He had a thick, bushy beard on his chin. His wrists seemed scrawny and his clothes were incredibly baggy on him. Seifer was staring at his feet, letting the guards pull him along. No emotion on his face. Not a scowl, not a grimace, just blank. My heart sank. This was absolutely depressing.

Bracing myself for Seifer to notice me, I put a smile on my face. I wanted the first person he saw to seem happy he was coming home to Balamb. I was nervous and a little worried, but I could be friendly at least. Part of me wondered if he would even remember me. We had grown up together, but after I had been adopted by the Tilmitt’s, I had not seen him again until I transferred to Balamb. Of course, I didn’t recognize him or piece together my blurry past until Irvine helped us remember it. Once I started using the Mind Cleanse potions things started coming back, but there were a lot of holes. I didn’t know if Seifer would remember me as Seffie, the little girl who helped him set off fireworks behind Matron’s back or just as the girl who fought him with Squall and Rinoa and company. My mind instantly remembered something he’d said when we fought him --  _ “Selphie, right? I wish we had time to get to know each other.”  _ With quick wit, I had retorted something about him not being my type. I hadn’t thought about that interaction at all really, but now I was. Well, maybe he could get to know me now. This was the time for new beginnings and second chances, right?

The guards un-cuffed Seifer and handed him a black bag before pushing him toward the car. He seemed unsteady on his feet as he flexed his hands a moment. When he finally looked up at me, Seifer seemed to freeze in place. The expression on his face was still blank, so I kept on smiling at him in an attempt to be welcoming. He didn’t move at first, just kept on staring. His eyes were still a very vivid light green and the scar that mirrored Squalls was still prominent. Just as I was about to call him over to me, Seifer began walking slowly toward me. It was making me a bit uncomfortable how he just kept staring at me.

Deciding to break the ice, I giggled and drawled out, “Need a ride, handsome?”

Seifer stopped a couple of paces away from me, his expression confused. He covered his mouth to cough and said in a voice that seemed underused, “Yeah... I sure as hell could.”

“Well hop on in, buddy!” I said a little too cheerfully. I winced at how fake it sounded, but Seifer didn’t say anything else. He walked slowly to the passenger’s side and opened the door, while I entered from the driver’s side. I quickly started the car and buckled myself in, glancing out of the corner of my eye to make sure Seifer was buckled up too. He was clutching the black bag tightly to his chest. 

“I hope you’re ready for a long trip to Balamb,” I chirped, trying to be nice and make him feel comfortable. “We have to drive back to Esthar and then we’re taking an airship back.”

Seifer simply nodded and didn’t reply. He was staring out the window as I drove us back. I couldn’t see his face, which was probably okay since I was supposed to be paying attention to the road. Still, I could not help but cast sidelong glances at home as we made a silent trek toward Esthar. 

There was traffic going into the city too, which made me groan. I rolled my shoulders and let out a deep, irritated sigh. I glanced over at Seifer as we were at a standstill at the entrance to Esthar, “You doing alright?”

He mumbled something long that I couldn’t understand. I frowned at both him and the traffic before saying in an extra chipper voice, “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

Seifer turned to face me, his eyes empty and his expression grim, “...As well as I can be for someone who has been locked up for a year.”

That caught me off guard, but he had a point. I chuckled uncomfortably, “Yeeeaaahhh. Sorry, I didn’t think to bring you a change of clothes. Do you want to stop in Esthar before--”

“No,” Seifer cut me off, his voice shaking ever so slightly. He looked back out the window before I could steal a look at his face. He sounded afraid. Was he? My stomach plummeted a bit, wondering what happened to the cocksure person I had encountered before. Seifer’s voice steadied out a bit more, “I never want to set foot in Esthar again. Fuck these people.”

“Oh,” I said, completely out of my element. I wasn’t sure how to handle this at all. He was hurting, he was afraid of the Estharian government. Hyne, his time at the Sorceress Memorial must have been infinitely worse than I imagined. Guilt filled my belly and I couldn’t think of anything to say to make it better. But, how could I? I was one of the people who saved the world, who cleaned up after Seifer and the Matron’s mess. I was a hero and he was a villain. I had been welcomed home to cheers, hugs, and gratitude. Seifer had been looked down upon, belittled, and arrested. There was some good though; he was free now and could start anew. It would be hard, most definitely, but I pledged right then and there to be on his side along the way. I cleared my throat and tried to keep sounding peppy, but not  _ too _ peppy, “Uhm... You looking forward to going back to Balamb then?” 

“I don’t know,” Seifer muttered with a sigh.

We were finally in the city and I quickly switched lanes to make my turn, sort of cutting off a car behind me. I winced and squealed a few unheard apologies to the car behind me and tried to safely navigate us back to the alleyway between the air station and rental car center. The sound of honked horns seemed to echo all around me and I rolled my eyes, “Sheesh, fuck Esthar indeed! These people can’t even  _ drive _ . I mean, I know I cut off that guy but, I’m not nearly as bad as these idiots. I mean,  _ that _ asshat is practically driving on the sidewalk!” 

Seifer didn’t reply, which was fine since we were pulling up to our destination. I threw the car into park and slipped out of the driver’s seat. After grabbing my things from the backseat, I scurried around to the entrance to the alleyway, to find Seifer already out of the car and looking around anxiously. I motioned for him to follow me and tried to open the side door. Of course, it was locked. Irritated, I knocked loudly on the door.

Temper’s anxious face met us and I noticed he seemed pretty wary of Seifer. The man’s watery brown eyes seemed to shift between mine and Seifer’s at a rapid speed before finally holding open the door for us both to slip through. As soon as we crossed the threshold, we were flanked by guards and airship crewmen as we walked through to the airship dock. I could tell Seifer was less than impressed with the situation, but he kept quiet and hovered right behind me as we walked. Frowning, I slowed my walk a bit and walked beside him. I noticed how he kept his eyes focused on the floor and his shoulders back. If it wouldn’t have been awkward, I’d have put a hand on his arm for comfort, but I was pretty certain Seifer Almasy wouldn’t be super tickled by that. His demeanor was so  _ different _ though. It was weirding me out. I wasn’t a Seifer Almasy expert or anything, but I could see a huge difference. He was going to have a rough time from here on out. Oh rats, I should have got a hold of Raijin and Fujin, his old friends, to let them know he was coming back... but then again, was he even still friends with them? Maybe that would just make for an awkward situation. Repressing a sigh, I vowed to try to be his friend. If not his friend, then at least a supporter.

For the sake of being polite, I gave everyone a smile and a wave before ushering Seifer onto the Ragnarok. Once the doors were shut behind us and I could hear the side of the elevator getting ready to move us upward, I let out the groan I was hiding, “Hyne, those people... Can we say awkward?”

“You can say that again,” Seifer muttered, running a hand through his messy, scraggly hair. “This ship wouldn’t happen to have a shower would it? They gave me a half-assed one last night, if you call ten seconds under a cold hose a bath.”

I made a face, “Nooooo. Sorry, but there’s a pair of bathrooms down this way. You can wash up your face a bit. I might have some scissors in my travel back for just-in-case situations if you trust little ol’ me to chop it off.” I had said the last bit as a joke. I had cut my own hair once, when I was about eight. My mother had been pretty angry and I had to rock some horribly short bangs for a while. That was the last time I had ever dreamt of being a professional hair-cutting lady. A plethora of career paths had gone through my head as a little girl. I was very adventurous.

“Could you?” Seifer said slowly, his eyes not meeting mine. He was gripping the back of a passenger’s chair so tightly, I thought he might tear the fabric with those unkempt nails of his.

This Seifer was seriously taking me aback. My mouth dropped. He really wanted me to cut his hair? Holy Hyne on fire, someone was trusting me to do something that wasn’t hacking a computer or setting up a party. I put on a big smile, “No problem. Let me get this beauty up in the air and I’ll help out your do, Seifer.” With that, I traipsed off to the cockpit and got us ready for lift off. 

“C’mon baby, let's head home,” I mumbled to myself. “Oh!” I reached over and flipped the button for the radio, so I could call Squall as we reached the top of the landing dock after the slow, slow elevator climb.

“Selphie.”

“Hi Squall. We’re heading back now. Everything went a-okay,” I said cheerfully. “Everything good with the field exams?”

“I haven’t heard of any problems, but I don’t know who made it yet. Awaiting report. Are you certain everything is well?” Squall’s voice was sooooo monotone, Hyne, I needed to ask Rinoa how she put up with that in bed. Actually, on second thought, I didn’t need to know that. It might make me gag.

“Yup, yup, yup,” I said, looking out through the window. I could see the sky! We were at the top, finally. It was time for lift off and autopilot for a bit. “We’ll arrive in... uhm... 6 hours, 30 minutes. Gross. Bad weather again?” I jumped when I felt Seifer sit down in the co-pilot's chair. I turned around to face him, intrigued by the look on his face as he stared at the radio. 

“Terrible weather,” Squall replied with a sigh. “I’d expect a delay, Selphie. It’s starting to get pretty stormy out here.”

“Yuck-o. Bad news for the cadets today then. At least they’re in a dry cave for most of the time, I guess,” I said with a sigh. “Well, Squally, check in with me whenever you need. Update me on the weather situation too. I’ll radio if I encounter any snags on our route.”

“Understand. Safe travels, Selphie.” 

The radio went silent and I glanced over at Seifer, who was sitting rigidly in the second-in-command seat and staring out at the cloudy sky. I flipped a few switches and got us up in the air, navigating by hand until I was on the right course. I held down the autopilot button and confirmed my destination as Balamb Garden before turning to Seifer. Before I could speak, he cut me off.

“You’re a pilot.”

I blinked and nodded my head slowly, “Yeah, I am. Oh, er, I’m not sure if you remember... I prooobably should have said somethin’ earlier. I’m Selphie. Selphie Tilmitt. We, er, were at the orphanage together? And--”

“I know who you are. I remember you. From then and...” Seifer trailed off, his face contorting into one of rage for a moment. It was pretty freaky. Unnerving enough to wipe the smile off of my face.

My stomach flopped and I let out a sheepish, awkward chuckle, “From when things were rough with the Sorceresses? Yeah. I was wondering if you would remember me at all... Well, that’s good I guess. But, uhm, yeah! I am a pilot! And a SeeD and the Garden’s Event Coordinator. Oh, and Nunchaku Specialist Professor.” I was pretty proud of everything I did. Maybe it was rude of me to rub it in, but I couldn't help myself. 

He was quiet a moment before mumbling coolly, “That is a lot of titles.”

“Is it?” I asked uncomfortably, shifting in my pilot’s chair. “I guess it is. I don’t mind though. I like keeping busy! Teehee. Sooo, anyway, about that haircut...”

“Just cut it shorter,” Seifer reached up to tug on his shoulder-length locks and grimaced. “I’ve never liked my hair long. I never used to let it grow much. Can you just... chop it to my ears or something? Make it even, until I can see a barber.”

I nodded enthusiastically. That was something I could probably do. I mean, how hard could it be, right? There was a lot that could go wrong (like making it look awful or cutting off his ears or something), but I would give it my best shot. My pledge to be on Team Seifer was not to be forsaken just yet! 

Rising from my seat, I motioned for Seifer to follow me back to the tables where I had left my travel bag. I had a small pair of sewing scissors in there. I also pulled out my brush, which I was less than keen to share, but knew I had no choice. Brushes were cheap, I could get a new one. I also pulled out my makeup kit and fished out my nail clippers. Those claws Seifer was sporting needed to  _ go _ .

“You ready?” I asked mischievously, clipping the nail clippers menacingly and brandishing my scissors. 

Seifer nodded and we headed off to the bathroom together. He sat down on the toilet seat without my having to ask, turning his head to face the wall so I could cut. Pretending to know what I was doing, I wetted my brush and began to rip through the snags and tangles. Seifer was grumbling at how harshly I was pulling through his hair, but he wasn’t outwardly complaining. His hair was a mess, seriously! It seemed like forever before it was finally snarl-free and I could start cutting.

I started with small cuts, not wanting to do anything too rash in case I ruined his hair. After a few snips, I started to get the hang of it and began snipping away. Blonde locks fell to the ground in a heap and Seifer seemed relaxed the shorter I cut his hair. I reached his ears and took care not to nick him while I made sure it was even. When I was satisfied, I set the scissors down on the sink and began to drum on my thighs.

“Dun-dun-dun!” I said, tugging on his arm for him to get up and look in the mirror. “Take a look at my masterpiece! Lookin’ like a stud, Seifer. Much better.” He looked more like his old self like this. Not perfect, but closer. He’d need to shave that beard off when we returned to Balamb, but losing the long, messy hair was a start at least.

Seifer turned his head back and forth, examining my handiwork. He nodded and bent down to pick up the clumps of hair off the floor without saying anything.

“I can do that,” I started to protest, but Seifer ignored me and continued to clean up. Sighing, I stepped out of the bathroom. “Clip your nails. Into the trash bin, please! Nails going all willy-nilly all over the place makes me  _ sick _ .” Turning on my heel, I left him to return to the cockpit.

Seifer didn’t return for another thirty minutes, arriving back to the cockpit while I was belting out the lyrics to my favorite Golden Chocobo’s song. The door had slid open with a loud whooshing noise, making me jump and dip the airship just slightly. Placing a hand over my startled heart, I glared at him out of the corner of my eye, “Would be polite to knock, y’know! You could have scared your chauffeur into a mountain or something.”

“You’re not a great singer,” Seifer said as he sat down in the second’s chair. “I returned your brush and nail clippers to your bag. Thanks for... everything.” He stared straight ahead, into the gloomy clouds. His voice was starting to sound normal again, less strained and scratchy.

“Jeez,” I huffed. “There miiiiight be a pretty darn good reason I’m not a professional singer, y’know! Besides, I’m better at guitar than singing anyway. I could melt even your frozen heart with my excellent guitar playing skills, I bet!”

“Really?” Seifer cocked his head slightly in my direction. “I would never have pegged you for a guitarist. Or a pilot.”

“There’s more to me than meets the eye, Seifer,” I said seriously, but with a smile on my face. “My mama always said not to judge a book by it’s cover! You never know what people are hiding in their hearts.”

Seifer cleared his throat and turned his head to look out the side window, so I couldn’t see his face anymore. “Really now? Is that why you’re being so nice to me? Because you’re trying not to judge me anymore?”

“Maybe,” I said slowly, shifting the Ragnarok several degrees to the left. “What of it?”

“I don’t think you should bother. You’re a fucking saint, a savior of the world. I’m just... grateful to be alive and out of that hellhole,” Seifer muttered irritably, still not looking at me.

“Honestly?” I said with a bit of heat in my voice. “Knock that woe-is-me crap off. You survived some hard stuff. Mind control. A war. Being the bad guy. Yeah, we kicked your sorry ass a few times. You deserved it. I did save the world and I’m damn proud of it! So, some bad stuff happened to you and you also did a lot of bad things yourself. This is a second chance to make up for it. So sue me, Seifer, I wanna root for the underdog and have hopped on the Support Seifer train. I’m probably the only rider of that train, but I intend on being there for you and helping you get through this house arrest and all of this community service. I want to see you prove the naysayers wrong. We were never friends before, even as kids, but we could be now if you wanted.”

Seifer laughed. An actual, loud, guffaw. It pissed me off; a surge of molten anger struck me straight in the gut. I gripped the controls to the airship tightly and was about to give him some more of my sass when he spoke again.

“You’re one hell of an idealist, aren’t you?” Seifer said with a sigh. He looked over at me with a sad, dismayed look on his face. “Well, Messenger Girl, if you can handle the shame and ridicule that will come with hanging around someone like me, then by all means. It’s your funeral. No one will welcome me back to Balamb Garden. I killed people. I ruined lives. I contributed to the destruction of Trabia Garden, isn’t that where you’re from?”

“I know you were. I’m surprised you remembered that’s where I transferred from,” I said with a bit of that surprise leaking into my voice. Seifer remembered, and paid attention to more than I expected. “But, a lot of people were at fault for that. Not just you. I lost friends and people I admired. Thinking of Trabia makes me sad, but I know I have to move on. The Garden and the city are being rebuilt. While that won’t bring back those who were lost, it’s a start. I can’t spend the rest of my years holding a grudge against everyone who could have possibly had a hand in it. You know what would make me feel better about it? Seeing you, and the others who are being pardoned, work toward a better future. You can do that, Seifer. And you know what? It might surprise you to hear, but I’m a strong girl. I have never cared much about what people have to say about me. They want to laugh because I’m going to eat lunch with you? They can kiss my behind, honestly.”

“I seem to vaguely recall being smacked upside the head with your nunchaku and being caught off-guard by your repertoire of magic, so I don’t doubt you’re strong in that regard. But, I think you’re underestimating the hate people feel for me. I heard them. In Esthar,” Seifer seemed to be suppressing a shudder. His tone was so bitter and angry. Not that I blamed him for that, people were mean. “It’s not pretty. I can take it, because I expect it. I just don’t want to rot in prison.”

His compliments and memory of my skills in battle made me a little bit happy, but I decided to skip remarking on that. I pursed my lips before sighing, “We’ll see what happens, Seifer. I don’t doubt things will be rough. But, as time goes on and people see you working hard to complete your community service and your SeeD training, I think their minds will change. Not everyone, of course, I’m not that naive. But, most definitely some.”

“Whatever,” Seifer retorted, sounding so much like Squall that I almost called him on it. He spoke again before I could, “So, what is my community service to be anyway? Did  _ Headmaster Leonhart _ tell you?”

“Oh. Hmm, not sure I’m supposed to tell you... Ah, well. You’ll be helping in the kitchens with dishes and trash. And, I have the okay to borrow you for the Garden Festival. I could use an extra hand and it would help get your hours more quickly.” I flashed Seifer a big ol’ grin, hoping it would convince him that being a part of my crew was the  _ best _ idea ever.

“Garden Festival?” Seifer repeated slowly. He seemed to be thinking a moment and then sighed before nodding, “Whatever gets me my hours.”

“Booyaka!” I said with a giggle. The rain started suddenly and I switched on the windshield wipers before looking over to meet Seifer’s aquamarine eyes, “See? We’re going to get along great.”

“You might be right, Tilmitt,” Seifer admitted in a soft, hard voice.


	3. Chapter Three

We didn’t get back to Balamb until 1100 hours. The rest of the ride had been pretty quiet, save for a bit of small talk and me complaining about the thick rain that caused me to reduce the Ragnarok’s speed for a brief while. Seifer had been kind enough to bring me an iced coffee and make me another sandwich (and one for himself) while I had navigated us through the storm. The rain had let up some as we had approached the island, which had allowed for a smooth landing.

As Squall had promised, he was waiting for us in the airship’s parking lot. He was alone, standing stiffly in his SeeD uniform at the end of the ramp with his hands behind his back and an unreadable expression on his face. I could tell he was anxious about having Seifer back in Garden. Things had been rough between the two of them even before Seifer had become a Sorceress’s pawn. Hyne, everyone knew about their clash! Quistis had said their rivalry had grown fierce from the moment they both had come to Garden, taking a twisted turn after neither had been adopted from Matron’s orphanage. Both of the boys had the matching scars to prove it. I was ready to stand in the middle if things got sticky, even though I was exhausted and stiff from my long trip.

“Selphie, thank you for returning safely,” Squall spoke professionally, though it sort of made me want to laugh. “Welcome back to Garden, Seifer.”

“Yeah,” was all Seifer spoke, staring at the ground with his jaw set. It was painfully obvious how inferior Seifer must have felt in his gray prisoner's clothes with his scruffy beard and mediocre haircut, while his rival was clean, well-kempt, and looking superb in his uniform. Seifer was clutching his black bag in his right fist tightly, the skin of his knuckles were white. I almost wanted to put a supportive hand on his back, but I knew darn well that Seifer wouldn't appreciate that kind of gesture. Not now; not in front of Squall Leonhart.

Squall turned to face me, looking as stoic as ever, “I will be escorting him to his room in the D-Wing. You are dismissed, Tilmitt. Thank you again for your service.” The left corner of his mouth twitched into a small smile and he touched my shoulder for a moment before turning and signaling for Seifer to walk with him. 

“G’night boys. I'll see you for lunch tomorrow, Seifer. 1200 on the dot, mister!” I called after them, readjusting the purse on my right shoulder and sliding my travel bag up over my other shoulder. I noticed Squall giving me a perplexed look as the two left the garage. I simply smiled and waved, letting him assume what he pleased.

I had left the rest of the snacks inside the Ragnarok, deciding I was too tired to deal with it right now. Nida wouldn't be impressed, but I'd clean up the ship and file a mission report in the morning. I was pooped and wanted to go relax. Waking up early to be available in my office was a high priority for me. Merissa would have come looking for me after her mission today and would try again tomorrow upon not finding me there, I was certain of it. Other students might be looking for a supportive voice too. And, if I was lucky, my two boys would come seek me out before their exams at the end of the week for advice. After my lunch with Seifer, I would come back to the Ragnarok to check it over and make sure it was ready for the next mission, whenever that would be. It was part of my responsibility as one of the Ragnarok’s main pilots to make sure the beast was in tiptop shape.

  
  


I woke up to my alarm blaring at 0600 on the dot. Whimpering, I yawned and stretched before turning the obnoxious racket off. Part of me was tempted to sleep in for another hour, but I really wanted to be available for the students right after breakfast was finished. With all of the willpower I could muster, I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower. My brain seemed to wake up as I combed through my wet hair, reminding myself to purchase a new brush today from the small commissary in the lobby of Garden. Maybe two, so I could have a backup brush on the off-chance I had to become an impromptu barber again. 

Once my teeth were brushed and flossed, my hair done, and my uniform on; I grabbed my nunchaku and my laptop bag, heading for the cafeteria. I wasn't terribly hungry, but I usually grabbed a large coffee and a bagel, or something, in the mornings when I was feeling a little tired. The cafeteria was busier than it normally was at this time; about half of the tables were full of students studying for exams of some kind. The younger students had written tests this week, while the older ones were starting Fire Cave tests and proficiency exams. I could see students with books in one hand, while they munched away on toast and eggs. Other students were mumbling frantically to themselves as they reviewed notes and knocked back cups of coffee. A couple of students were staring pale-faced at their untouched plates, too nervous to eat. Those were the cadets taking their field exams, I knew. Exam week in Balamb Garden was so fun! 

Smiling, I walked up to one of the lunch ladies; a squat, sour-faced woman who was actually very sweet if you gave her the time of day. Most people didn't, which was why they had a bad impression of her. I was on her good side, though. She adored me.

“Morning, Olga!” I said cheerfully. I waved away the tray she tried to offer me with an apologetic look. “To-go for me today.” Generally, students weren't permitted to take food out of the cafeteria. The cafeteria was open three times a day for two hours each meal and you had to eat inside. Most students had dried snacks in their dorm rooms for midnight snacks, or if they missed meals. But, I wasn't a student and teachers could eat in their offices if they so choose. It wasn't an encouraged practice, but we all did it. 

“Good morning, Selphie. What would you like today? We are almost out of sausage already,” Olga informed me pleasantly. She squinted at me with her tiny brown eyes, eyeing my figure that she affectionately deemed too scrawny and peckish. If Olga had it her way, she would add on at least another fifty pounds to my frame. 

“Uhmmm...” I thought for a moment and shook my head. “I'll pass on the sausage today, thanks! Can I have one of the chocolate donuts? Those look really tasty. And a coffee? Large. One packet of sugar. One hazelnut creamer.” I smiled at her and pulled out my SeeD I.D. card for her to swipe at her machine that took money out for our meals. Students paid less than teachers and SeeD, but they also worked off tuition, not hourly pay like me. Meals were allocated into their tuition amount when they enrolled. It was something like ten gil a meal. Most students only did lunch and dinner each day too. 

“Coming right up. The donuts are very fresh right now. Just out of the oven,” Olga told me warmly, scurrying off to get my order ready. The older woman worked quickly, grabbing the things I requested in seconds. I could smell my warm coffee as she poured it into a large take-out cup, stirring in my sugar and creamer. Mmm. I needed that warm liquid in my belly! Yep, I was a coffee addict. 

“Thanks!” I chirped as she handed me my donut in a bag and my coffee. Olga took my card and slid it, I watched the machine take my thirty-five gil. After it flashed approved in big green letters, Olga handed me my card and wished me a nice day. I, of course, wished her the same.

Merissa Paes was already waiting at my closed office door when I arrived on the second floor. My office was smaller than most of the other offices, but the classroom connected was newer and had fancy mahogany desks prepared for at least twenty students. My class was so small that most of those desks went unused though. The reason the classroom was new was because we had remodeled it after Galbadia had attacked and destroyed it. About half of Balamb’s classrooms had been redone after that. Some of the teachers were jealous about their old classrooms. I couldn’t fault them for that, the new rooms were pretty snazzy looking.

“Good morning, Merissa,” I greeted her, putting the donut bag on top of my coffee precariously as I fished around in my pockets for my keys. “Just a sec and you can tell me all about it.”

Merissa nodded nervously and my heart sunk a bit. Had she failed? Merissa was my most promising student. I had the highest hopes for her out of my seven students. She had some anxiety and confidence issues, but her strength was excellent and her strategy on point when she wasn't worrying herself sick. We both entered my office as the door unlocked. I set my breakfast on my desk and my laptop bag down at my feet. I would set up to work once Merissa left.

“Okay,” I said, settling into my cushy, high-backed teacher's chair and took a sip of hot coffee. “How did it go? Don't mind me eating breakfast, by the way.” I flashed her a reassuring grin and held up my donut.

Merissa had taken a seat at the desk closest to mine. She had her pale blonde hair up in a tight bun instead of pigtails today. It made her look more mature, more like the sixteen year old she was. Her round, anxious face was flushed and her tired eyes darted around. I could tell Merissa had gone through a rough night. My heart went out for her. She had counseling sessions regularly on campus to help with her anxiety and she had made great strides so far in overcoming them, but ever-so-often, her nerves won out. 

“I got a 50,” Merissa said glumly, looking down at her hands clenching tight to the sides of the desk. “I didn't have enough Blizzard magic on me to finish off Ifrit fast enough, so I got docked points for being unprepared. I underestimated what I would need. I K.O.’d once, so Instructor Trepe had to use a Phoenix Down on me and that alone set me back twenty-five points. Then my crummy time did the rest of the damage.” The girl made a face and her green eyes filled with unshed tears. She swallowed hard, trying not to start bawling in front of me.

“But, Merissa,” I said slowly, not wanting to incite any hysterics from her if I could help it. “You passed! Sure, a 50 isn't the best you can do, but you passed this portion of the SeeD exam and now, you'll go on to the next! You just have to work well with your team and perform to the best of your ability. You have excellent judgment when you set your mind to it, you know this already. It's unlikely you will be made a Captain of your squad, but that’s okay, Merissa. I am so happy you passed. I just knew you would! This is great news.”

“I know it is,” the blonde girl said with a sigh. She frowned at the desk before looking up at me again. Her eyes were still watery, but she appeared to have them under control. “I could have -- no, I _ should have _ done better than a 50.”

“Probably,” I told her genuinely, my tone of voice soft and kind. “I’m so happy for you though, Merissa! And proud! We will make sure you're in tiptop shape for the next part of your exams. You'll make SeeD, I just know it. What's got you so worried? It's not just the Fire Cavern, is it?”

Merissa shook her head and sighed deeply, “I'm definitely mad at myself for scoring so low on this portion, but I am nervous about what comes next. A couple of people in my strategist class are saying we are going to Timber... My-m-my parents died there when Galbadia invaded and all but eradicated the Forest Owls. I haven't been back since before they died. I don’t know if I  _ can _ go back. Thinking about it makes me sick. Is it true, Instructor Tilmitt? Are we going to be dispatched to Timber?”

Her words stung me and I shook my head at her, “I'm afraid I'm not sure. I know Timber was proposed, but I haven't heard any confirmation.” What was left of the resistance group called the Forest Owls became something else entirely, fighting hard against the new leader of the newly independent city. This leader of Timber was too quick to forge an alliance with Galbadia and the resistance believed he was corrupt. There had been many threats on the man's life; this group was much more violent than the Owls. Timber had become a split faction city once again, much to everyone's disappointment. It was pretty unsafe there these days. Lots of people moved away, choosing to relocate to Deling City or Dollet. What was left was in absolute chaos as they attempted to patch things up. The new resistances had fashioned themselves the name of the ‘ _ Timber Truest _ ’, claiming they fought for the heart and soul of Timber to be completely free of any ties to Galbadia, even in treaty. The Truests had bombed a train station last month because someone had let it slip one of the Timber council members was going to be using that station. The council member had lived, but was in critical condition. Squall had gone himself to check out the situation and I knew it was grim. In my opinion, I figured the exam was very likely to be held in Timber, where our cadets could help with the situation as it grew more chaotic. 

“I don't want to go back,” Merissa sniffled fearfully, her voice shaking. “Anywhere but Timber would be desirable! My parents died for Timber! I-- I just--”

“I know, Merissa,” I said delicately, getting out of my chair to stand by her. I put a hand on her shaky shoulder, “It was hard for me to go back to Trabia and see it in ruins. The whole way there, my heart was pounding and my stomach was so sick. I was afraid for what I'd find, or rather who I wouldn't find. It broke my heart, but it made me more determined than ever to be a good SeeD. I could fight for a better world, y’know? Think of it that way, Merissa! If you do have to test in Timber, think of it as paying homage to your parents. You want a better, happier future for us all, right? Your hometown is a good place to start that mission.”

“I-- yeah, I do,” Merissa replied with a great big sigh. “I'm afraid I'll mess this up if I go to Timber. I'll see someone I know o-or something that will make me think of my parents... and-- and, I'll lose it. I'm too scared to go back to Timber.”

Nodding, I didn't know what would be the right thing to say. Merissa was fragile sometimes, but I knew she was stronger than she had herself credit for it. I only wished she could see what I saw in her. I bent down to give her a warm hug, “You'll have help to get through it though. Your squadmates. Your instructors. Your friends. I guarantee  _ I'll _ be there. If your field exam does take place in Timber, you will have all of us rooting for you and keeping an eye on things. You won't be alone.”

“Okay,” the girl said with a stubborn pout. She didn't seem convinced. I would do my damnedest to make sure Merissa was okay and I would be pressing Squall for confirmation the next time I saw him. We were getting close to the end of term. Field exams were often announced last minute due to safety concerns and not wanting the enemy to know our whereabouts. The cadets wouldn’t know until the night before, or even the day of. It was wrong of me, but I wanted to let Merissa know in advance so she could have her inevitable meltdown with me at her side, instead of on the field. There were always a few cadets killed in action each year and their names would end up on the large memorial stones in the courtyard, but I hoped this year would without death.

Three people had died during my field exam. I was actually the only survivor from Squad A, both of my teammates had died trying to get back to the extraction point. I hadn't been close to either of them, nor had I been thrilled to have been nominated as the messenger to Squad B when the order to retreat came. Kielan Lang and Arne Hughes had been sort of mean to me during the exam, but I had paid my respects once their names had been added to one of the giant stones in the courtyard regardless. Both of them had taken gunshots to the back, just before they reached the beach. The third person who had been killed, a martial artist named Kimiko, had fallen to her death while intercepting some radio signals. She had been on Squad E.

Death was on my mind even after Merissa left. Naturally, my thoughts wandered to Trabia and I felt guilty again for not calling my parents in so long. I hadn't visited to check on repairs or offer my help either. My life had become so busy, but I had once fully believed I would be there for Trabia through its recovery. I hadn't done a damn thing but make sure funds went through on our end. My friends who had died in the explosion deserved better than that from me. The only one of my friends who had survived, I hadn't spoken to for months. She hadn't emailed me with updates in a while either, I suddenly remembered. Not that I deserved any. There was a rock in my gut and I knew that once these exams were completed, I would need to request some time off to visit Trabia. Pulling out my laptop, I wrote a quick, but friendly email to my old friend and made sure to promise I would be visiting soon. Hopefully Auri didn't hate me too much.

I almost forgot about the time after I sent the email and started working on lesson plans. I had two minutes until my lunch date with Seifer. I was actually pretty hungry, having forgotten to eat most of my donut while talking to Merissa. I tossed the remains of breakfast into the garbage bin, locked my office doors, and took off at full speed for the cafeteria. I could see a familiar figure entering the elevator, so I began to wave frantically as I yelled out, “Hey!! HOLD THE ELEVATOR! HOLD IT, YOU BIG MEANIE!”

Zell obeyed my orders and hit the open button at the last second, allowing me access onto the elevator. He stared at me with a look of disbelief as I panted. I merely gave him a thumbs up as I caught my breath, my hands on my knees.

“Whew, I thought I was going to have to slide on my booty to make it in here before the doors shut. Good thing I didn't, I'm soooo not wearing appropriate underwear for that!”

“Too much info, Selph,” Zell’s face went all red and he grimaced. “You heading to lunch?”

“Yuppers,” I replied as I fanned myself. I was seriously sweating from my sprint! How embarrassing. Good thing my lunch date wasn't a real date. “Hey! Any of your students make it?” Zell was the martial arts instructor now. He also ran self-defense classes on weekends for anyone interested, even the teachers and full-fledged SeeD’s could attend! At first, he had been doing it free of charge, but Squall had insisted on Zell tracking how often he provided the training and how many people showed up. It was still pretty popular, lots of students (especially the young ladies) wanted to know how to defend themselves if they were rendered weaponless. I was pretty impressed with Zell for taking the initiative on that. 

“Only had one of mine go to the Fire Cavern yesterday. He passed with a perfect score. Xu escorted him; said he did brilliantly. One of my girls goes on tomorrow morning with Quistis and another goes with me Thursday afternoon. I think they will both do well. Two of the smartest girls I've ever met. Man, can they pack a punch and a kick too! If I hadn’t been wearing a cup...” Zell trailed off and shook his head.

“Ewwww,” I teased with my tongue out. I tilted my head at him as I thought for a moment, “Say, Zelly.... sooooo, you wear a cup  _ all _ the time?”

“No,” Zell replied immediately, then his eyes went wide and he covered his bits protectively with his hands. “You--”

“I was joking with you, silly,” I burst out laughing and hopped off of the elevator. “But now I know and I will always remember.” I put two fingers to my head and nodded solemnly at Zell. 

“You're evil,” Zell told me, not for the first time, as he stepped off the elevator too.

I beamed and winked, “Totally, super-duper mega evil. Oh, Zelly, I would totally eat with you, but I have a lunch date. I'm already running late so I'm going to sprint now, ‘kay?” Without waiting for his answer, I zoomed off towards the cafeteria and hoped with all my might that I wouldn't be a sweaty, stinky mess when I met with Seifer.

He had shaved off his beard and was dressed in cadet’s attire, trying to look inconspicuous against the wall just outside of the doors. Seifer looked just like his old self, only a little thinner. His cheeks were a bit gaunt and very noticeable now that the beard was gone. There were dark circles under his eyes that made me realize he probably had not slept much, if at all. He was still rocking the haircut I had given him, though he had slicked it back to keep from flopping all over the place. The stares from other students told me they had seen and recognized him. I frowned, hoping people were playing nice so far. I put on my best smile, tried not to sound completely out of breath, and approached him.

“Hellooooo, Seifer!” I greeted him a little too loudly and energetically. “Lookin’ good, if I say so myself.” I held out my hand and winked at him, “Care to escort this gal to lunch?”

He looked at me with a slightly disgusted sneer, but took my small hand in his larger one. His hand was cold and it made me instantly aware of how sweaty mine were. I hoped he wouldn't comment. With our hands entwined, I led the way into the cafeteria, ignoring the stares and whispers. I couldn’t help but be disappointed that the judgment had begun already. It had been wishful thinking on my part that everything would be perfect on Seifer’s first day back.

Deciding it would be for the best, I led us to a table in the back corner of the room. It was still very visible to the rest of the cafeteria, so the action was pretty futile, but it had felt like the right thing to do. I started to pull out a chair for him, when Seifer stopped me.

“You don't have to do that.”

“It's polite!” I argued, refraining from putting my hands on my hips and pouting or stamping my feet. I always tried to be polite. Who the heck said chivalry was just for men? NO ONE!

“You don't have to treat me like I'm the special kid, fuck,” Seifer ran a hand through his hair and removed my hands off of the back of the chair I was holding, pulling it out for me and then seating himself down in the chair across from it. 

“What a gentleman,” I cooed sarcastically, ignoring his remark about my treating him differently. “I'll go grab us trays then, no objections, mister. I am buying! What do you want?”

“Anything that isn't prison slop. I don't like pickles though,” Seifer mumbled, placing his elbows on the table and then resting his chin on his clenched fists. He was staring straight ahead with his lips pursed tightly together. I nodded and got in line, listening to bits of conversation around me.

“--he was possessed, apparently.”

“I'm shocked he wasn't sentenced to death right away!”

“Maybe he is blackmailing Headmaster Leonhart, everyone knows they despise each other.”

I shook my head and glowered at a couple of the naysayers, but that only seemed to make them lower their tones. Sighing, I greeted Olga again and forced a smile onto my face, “Hi again, Olga! How goes it since I last saw you a couple of hours ago? Teehee.”

“As well as it can with so many ungrateful kids around you each day,” Olga said with a shrug. “I think I might look into starting a restaurant in the city.”

“You totally should!” I exclaimed cheerfully, beaming at her. “I would visit!”

Olga smiled, showing off her crooked teeth, “Thank you, Selphie. It is an expensive endeavor but--” her eyes glanced over the crowded cafeteria and clouded over. “--this cafeteria woman's life is getting old. Tiring too, but mostly old. Can’t handle this crowd anymore. Need a change.”

“I bet!” I nodded at her sympathetically. “Good luck! Keep me updated, okay?” I reminded myself to ask about it in a week or so. Olga liked it when I remembered things she told me. She had been positively dumbstruck the first time I had requested her name and even more so when I had remembered it the next day. That was when she started to warm up to me.

“Of course. You’re such a sweetheart. What can I get you for lunch?”

“I need two trays today, actually. Buying for a friend,” I explained and glanced over the day’s lunch menu. “Two deluxe hoagies with the works, no pickles on either one though.” It was easier that way. “Two bags of plain potato chips. Two waters. Ooh. And a large slice of chocolate cheesecake.” I'd eat that myself if Seifer didn't want it.

Olga loaded up two trays with my requested items and handed them to me delicately. I nodded my head to Zell who was waiting impatiently in line before I slowly walked back to my table where Seifer was waiting. I was balancing the trays carefully, knowing that it was in my nature to drop things and make a mess. Seifer was still staring straight ahead, but when he seemed to catch sight of me in his peripherals, he jumped up to take both of the trays from my shaky grasp and set them down on the table for us. 

“Thanks,” I commented, glancing out of the corner of my eye at Zell. He was staring at Seifer and I with his mouth open. I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him and smiled at my lunch date instead. “Neither one has pickles, so go ahead and dig in. Oh, I got us dessert. I hope you like  _ cheeeeesecaaaake _ ,” I sang the last bit at him, giggling a bit. I noticed someone glaring at me as they sat down at a table near us. They began pointing and whispering with their friend. I sniffed disdainfully and ignored them. Someone’s mama didn’t teach them  _ manners _ . Who points at people in public? I mean,  _ really _ ?!

“I do like it, actually,” Seifer commented, taking a big bite of his hoagie. He seemed pleased with it, taking a few more large bites and swallowing them nearly whole before speaking again. “People are staring at you.”

“That's because they have never seen someone so beautiful,” I said dreamily, snacking on some of my chips first. “Kidding! I don't really give a darn, Seifer. Let them stare. They will see you and I talking like regular ol’ human beings. Nothing weird going on. It’s not like you’re using my skull as a cup or anything.”

“Right... But, It's not bothering you?” Seifer said, twisting open his bottle of water and downing about half of it in one gulp. His eyes met mine and I could swear he was trying to find a hint of insincerity on my face.

I shook my head and started in on my sandwich, “Nopers. It's all gravy! Things will be okay, promise.” I offered a toothy grin.

“You have lettuce in your teeth already.”

“Ughhh,” I groaned and kept on eating. “Maybe it will be gone by the time I'm done. So, have you done anything interesting yet? What did you and Squally talk about last night?” Maybe I was being a little nosy, but I wanted to know! I wanted to make sure Seifer wasn't just sitting in his room sulking all morning.

Seifer finished chewing, swallowed, and stared at me blankly, “He tried to act like Headmaster Kramer. It was laughable. Telling me shit like how to behave and what he expected from me. I'll be starting classes again in a couple of weeks. I have to help the cooks clean up after lunch today. Already helped clean up breakfast earlier. Oh yeah... When am I supposed to help with that festival shit?”

I raised an eyebrow, “Eager to get your community service hours completed, huh? Saturday morning at eleven is the next meeting. Normally we meet Wednesdays, but everyone's busy with exams and studying, so we agreed on Saturday.”

“I can still help you on Wednesday, if you have anything I can do,” Seifer said, not meeting my eyes. He opened his bag of chips slowly, reaching to grab a handful. 

“Okay, sure. You can help me finish drawing up some designs to present on Saturday. We were planning a luau themed festival this year. That was the majority vote anyway,” I told him. I pushed aside the last remaining scraps of my hoagie and put the cheesecake between us. “Dessert time?” I held out one of the forks to him.

Seifer took the fork and took the first bite, his eyes closed for a moment and I suppressed a giggle. It was sort of sad, honestly. He mustn’t have had anything delicious in prison. Or hell, even before that as a Sorceress’s knight. I had thought about teasing him for not allowing ladies first since he had insisted on being the gentleman earlier with my chair, but I bit my tongue. I let him have his moment.

“Good?” I asked him before taking a bite myself. “Mmmmmmm!”

“Yeah, I haven’t had sweets in a really long time,” Seifer admitted. He glanced at something to his right and scowled. “Your friend, Chickenwuss, doesn’t seem impressed about this lunch date of ours.”

“Yeah, well I’m not impressed with his face, so there,” I rolled my eyes. “Wanna have lunch again tomorrow?”

Seifer stared at me a moment, completely silent. It made me realize how pretty his eyes were when he was staring at me. I blinked at him a few times, wondering if he was trying to come up with a way to let me down without sounding like a jerk. Seifer shrugged a single shoulder though, “Sure. Why not?”

“Awesome! Booyaka! We can have lunch every day, for as long as you want. Oh, on Wednesday, let's meet up after dinner? Is that okay with you? I can wait for you to finish cleaning up in here and all that.”

“Sounds like I will be free around 2100 hours. Asked this morning,” Seifer informed me. 

He was staring oddly at me and it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I shifted in my chair and nodded in agreement, “Yuppers. I’ll meet you here on Wednesday night then. Jeez, Seifer, you’re going to get sick of me in a week with all of these lunch dates and the Garden Festival planning!”

“You’re the only friend I’ve got right now,” Seifer replied quietly, his eyes finally tearing away from mine as he went to grab the last bite of cheesecake.


	4. Chapter Four

After my third lunch date with Seifer, the questions finally found me. I had been sitting in my room painting my toenails orange while I waited for Zell to return from the Fire Cavern with one of my students when my phone started ringing. Hobbling on one foot, I made it to the phone and answered it, “Hello, Selphie Tilmitt speaking.”

“Hello Selphie,” Rinoa greeted me suspiciously, her voice thick with curiosity and amusement. “I would love it if you would come up to my room.... Right now.”

“Huh?” I asked, glancing down at my half-orange toenails. “What’s up?”

“Oh, you know,” Rinoa replied airily. “I have some things to discuss with you. That’s all.”

My eyebrows rose, not that Rinoa could see that through the phone. I chuckled nervously, “Ahahaha... okay. I’ll be over in a minute. I’m bringing my nail polish. See you in a few minutes?” I hung up the phone and prodded a few of my toes. They were dry enough for me to slip on some tan flats. I had changed out of my uniform after my lunch with Seifer, deciding that lounging around in a pair of jean shorts and a yellow tank top was much more comfy for my rare, free afternoon. While it may have been comfortable, I definitely didn't look professional. Keeping a professional appearance was encouraged on campus from SeeD and staff... especially during exam weeks when we were supposed to be seen as exemplary to remind the cadets what they would become. I shrugged off the idea of professionalism and grabbed my keys, orange nail polish, and wallet; cramming the wallet into my back pocket. I never went anywhere without my SeeD I.D. The thought of dying somewhere random with no way to be identified freaked me out.

Scampering through the halls, I weaved my way through the crowds of students and SeeD. Written exams were in full force this afternoon and I could hear some of the younger kids reciting the names of GF’s and junction components to themselves. A group of Balamb SeeD that had been dispatched to Centra for the reconstruction of the lost city had returned this morning. The area had been completely overrun with monsters and bandits, but many were eager to get a city down there again. New Centra (not the most original of names) was a collaboration between Balamb Garden and Esthar to expand living locations and to reclaim control of the continent. The current word on the block was that everything was going swimmingly and New Centra would be good to go in, roughly, four years! SeeD would be returning to the continent soon to assist with the project and be a deterrent for anyone (or anything) that might get in the way. There was also a rumor going around that Esthar wanted to start an Academy for non-militaristic endeavors on the Centran continent once the city was flourishing, but that had yet to be confirmed. 

The elevator was crowded, but I managed to squeeze my way into a corner as we made the slow crawl to the second floor. The students all swarmed out when we reached it, leaving me alone on the trek to the third floor where Rinoa and Squall lived. Rinoa had remodeled the Headmaster's quarters into something more accommodating for her and Squall to both live in. While the rest of the renovations were happening on Garden, Rinoa had requested to expand the third floor, allowing for her and Squall to have a more adequate living space attached to his office. They now had a decent sized living room, a large bedroom, a small kitchen, and a spruced up bathroom instead of the dingy one-room setup that our former Headmaster, Cid Kramer, had lived in. Squall had also let Rinoa decorate and furnish the place however she saw fit. It looked quite nice, if I said so myself. While Squall had become full-time Headmaster, Rinoa had decided not to enroll in SeeD training, preferring to be a liaison to Galbadia, Esthar, and Deling City. She was a woman who strove for peace and diplomacy, who worked her magic (not literally) to show the world that she was not an evil Sorceress. Squall didn't always approve of her gallivanting off to one location or the next to broker trade agreements, peace treaties, or deal with people who doubted her and her Sorceress abilities, but Rinoa handled it all very well. 

I knocked on the door twice and the future Mrs. Leonhart answered the door with a suspicious smirk on her face. She crossed her arms over her chest, which caused me to notice how low-cut her sleeveless black tunic was. I thought about commenting, instead opting to counter her smirk with a blank stare.

“Well, well, well,” Rinoa bemused as she stepped aside to let me in. “Oh Selphie.”

“Is this about my lunch dates?” I asked, a bit exasperated. I wondered if Rinoa was bothered by my attempt at being friends with Seifer. He was her ex-boyfriend, so maybe she thought I was breaking some sort of girl code? But, she was marrying Squall, so why did it matter one way or another? I just hoped she wasn’t mad at me, I really wasn’t in the mood for a lecture or anything. I flopped down on the floor beside the coffee table, dumping my keys and wallet onto it, then kicked my flats off to complete my toenail painting.

Rinoa retreated into the kitchen and reappeared with two bottles of hard lemonade. She opened them both with the hem of her black sheet, setting one of them down on a coaster near me. She sighed deeply and gave me a pointed look with her dark eyes alight with mischief, “There are some  _ fascinating _ rumors going around about you.”

“Oh, poo! Seifer’s NOT blackmailing or brainwashing me,” I told her irritably. I had overheard  _ those  _ remarks already. In fact, I had already told someone off for insinuating it when I walked by them. 

“Not those ones,” Rinoa said with a short gale of laughter. She took a sip of her drink and chuckled. “This morning, someone told me and Squall that you guys were in the secret area going at it and--”

“Whaaaaaat?!” I banshee-screeched, almost flinging my nail polish across the room. I capped the bottle and put it down before I stained the carpet and Rinoa murdered me. “Absolutely not! NO! NO!”

My friend laughed again and waved a hand dismissively, “I didn't think it was true. Squall had a moment of hesitation though, but I set him straight. Still, I'm surprised you're doing anything with him at all. How's that going for you?”

“Alright, we have just been eating lunch together. Nothing inappropriate. All PG! Well, maybe PG-13. Seifer swears an awful lot! It's pretty casual. Nothing interesting at all,” I told her truthfully. Seifer and I talked a little bit about nothing in particular during our couple of meals together, but that was it. Nothing serious or of interest to anyone.

“You two would be sort of adorable together,” Rinoa mused after a moment's pause. She fiddled with her engagement ring while pondering the idea. “But, he is very arrogant at times, or used to be anyway. Nor is he very good at talking about feelings and all that. Kind of like how Squall is in that department, actually. But much more  _ hostile _ about it. Oh! Seifer was pretty adventurous in bed though--”

“Ahhhhh!!!” I shrieked as I grabbed my bottle of nail polish again in hopes of finishing my last few toes. “I'm not--! UGH!!!!”

Rinoa burst into fits of laughter, clutching at her sides, “Oh come on, Selphie! I'm mostly messing with you!! I do think you two would be pretty cute together, but whatever works for you. I'm not going to play matchmaker or anything, just simply going to watch from the sidelines for the day I can say ‘I told you so’. It sounds good in my head.” She beamed at me and tapped the side of her head with her index finger. “Sorceress’ are wise, after all.”

“Yeaaaahh, okay,” I finished painting my nails and sighed. Rinoa was being ridiculous. I grabbed my drink and downed half of it in one go. There wasn’t anything going on between Seifer and I that would allude to such a conclusion. I didn’t get what Rinoa was on about.

“I'm just saying! It has been awhile since you and Irvine broke up, you know. Are you two still friends-with-benefits? Just curious.”

“I dunno,” I responded dejectedly, thinking a moment about it. It had been a while since the last time it had happened. But, I had a feeling if I went to his door wanting, Irvine would oblige. “Maybe?”

Rinoa tilted her head at me, “Maybe? That doesn't sound positive. Maybe you should make a move on someone else. Someone tall, blonde, and probably in dire need of a good--”

“Rinoa!”

“Okay, okay!” Rinoa agreed with a groan of disappointment. She was still smiling knowingly at me. “Just let me know in advance, please, if you're going to be bringing a plus one to my wedding!”

I stayed much later than I had intended with Rinoa, but didn't get accidentally tipsy this time (it was a bad habit we had). Squall arrived as we were finishing our second drinks. Rinoa was quick to inform him that I wasn’t banging Seifer in the secret area and I hurried to change the subject to the Fire Cavern exams. Squall was able to tell me that my student had passed with Zell. I was able to confirm with him that Timber would be the location of the second part of the field exam. He also informed us both that Trabia was looking to reopen in September. That fact had hurt. Auri had yet to reply to my email. I mentioned to Squall that I was looking to go visit Trabia as soon as I could spare some time. The three of us chatted about everything going on in the world until I realized how late it was and that I should go change before I met up with Seifer.

“Wait, you're meeting up with him now? So late?” Rinoa’s eyes were big and bright with sudden interest. There was an excited gleam in her eye that I did not find amusing.

“Yes... we are going to work on Garden Festival stuff. I was going to log the hours toward his community service,” I glanced quickly at Squall for his nod of approval. When I received it I barreled on, “Totally innocent stuff, Rinoa!”

After escaping the Leonhart-Heartilly abode, I scampered off toward my dormitory to change out of my shorts. That didn't feel very appropriate for a social committee meeting. As I changed into a pair of black jeans, I realized morosely that I had missed dinner! An idea formed in my head. Balamb City had recently opened a 24-hour diner/bar place on the pier, appealing to the sailors that arrived regularly to bring trade goods or stop on their way elsewhere. It also catered to SeeD who could leave Garden grounds whenever they wanted. Like myself. I hoped Squall wouldn't flip a lid if I took Seifer with me. It could be fun. The poor guy had gone from prison to being stuck in Garden. I was a SeeD, so it should be okay for him to leave with my authorization and supervision. It would be good for him to get out for a couple of hours. I nodded to myself in approval, rummaged in my closet for a black cardigan to pull over my yellow tank top and grabbed my files and notebooks for the Garden Festival. 

The kitchen staff was still finishing up, so I loitered outside the cafeteria, letting my brain roam freely. My thoughts wandered to Trabia and debated if Auri really was mad at me. I wouldn't blame her if she was. Hyne, I probably would be if I were in her shoes. Calling my parents needed to be higher up on my list of priorities as well, same with figuring out when I could take a week or two of leave. My mind then wandered to what Rinoa has said about Seifer and Irvine. I wasn't interested in either of them  _ like that _ . At least, I didn’t think so. But, then thinking about Rinoa getting married... Quistis and her many suitors and dates... it made me feel pathetic. So far in my life, I had only had one boyfriend and that relationship had only lasted eight months. We had been fooling around up until fairly recently, but I couldn't quite remember when that last had happened. 

A hand on my head startled me out of my reverie, making me start screaming bloody murder. Swiftly, Seifer covered my mouth, waiting for me to calm down enough for him to remove it. I gasped and gave Olga and the other cooks a thumbs up through the windowed door to let me know I was not being murdered or kidnapped. 

Dancing away from Seifer, I gaped at him, “Sheesh! Seifer! You scared me half to death. Holy hyne...”

“You were zoning out,” he replied unapologetically. “I tried to get your attention multiple times, space cadet.” 

“Bah,” I grumbled. “I have a lot on my mind. C’mon, let's go. How was your afternoon? Do anything fun?” I started off for the elevators, expecting Seifer to follow me.

Seifer trailed after me and snorted, “Oh yeah, it's so fun sitting in my room all day or washing dishes. Fucking riveting.”

“You'll have classes soon enough to break up the monotony,” I announced brightly.

When we reached my office, I let us in and began showing Seifer everything the committee and I had planned so far. My sketches weren't great, I was actually quite bad at drawing, but it got my point across. It just so happened to be that Seifer was decent at sketching and was able to do much better than my shoddy works of art. With his help, we redesigned the dance floor and the stage, and even worked out a raised section for a bar for those who could drink. I needed to get Squall’s approval for that portion of the event, but I was certain he would be okay with it if we were sure to check identification. Seifer actually had some good ideas about the placement of everything in the quad. Looking over the finished products, I beamed at him, “These are perfect. I can't wait to show the committee on Saturday. I bet they will love it. The torches were exactly what we needed to add to the dance floor to spice it up!” I threw my arms around Seifer’s neck, caught up in my excitement. “Thank you SO much! You’re way more creative than I thought!”

“It's no problem,” Seifer said stiffly, going rigid at my touch.

I let go and backed away sheepishly, “Sorry ‘bout that... I get too enthusiastic ‘bout all of this. Anyway, I have a GREAT idea! This gal miiiight have missed dinner. How do you feel like hitting up the city for some food with me?”

Seifer stared at me as if I had lost my mind, “It is almost midnight. Balamb shuts down by 2000 hours at the latest.”

“Not anymore,” I replied in a sing-song sort of way, putting my hands behind my back. “They just opened a diner, pub, er bar? Well, food and alcohol on the pier. It's open all night! Lotta the locals hate it, but it's been awesome for SeeD and sailors.”

“Will the  _ Headmaster  _ rip me a new asshole for it?”

“Nope! You will be with me!” My answer was confident, though I truly wasn't certain I should be taking him off grounds. It was fairly possible Squall would kill me in the morning, but that was a fate I could deal with tomorrow. “I'll rent us a car! So, you wanna go?”

“Fuck it, why not?” Seifer agreed. Together, we made our way to the garage where the attendant was sleeping soundly. The man was older, probably in his 60s and had worked at Garden for a long time. It was usually pretty dull at night, so I didn’t fault him for taking a snooze. 

“Ahem, ahem, ” I tried to get his attention politely. He didn’t budge, still snoozing away peacefully. I tried again louder this time and the man bolted upright, blinking wildly. He rubbed at his eyes before his gaze settled on me. 

“...help ya?” the man mumbled, though I missed half of it. I got the jist of what he was getting at regardless.

“We would like to rent a car, please. Something casual. Just taking a short trip,” my voice chirped sweetly and I offered the man my best smile.

“Identification,” he said promptly, eyeing me both suspiciously and sleepily. He yawned, not bothering to cover his mouth. 

I reached into my back pocket for my wallet and offered my SeeD card to him. It was amusing to watch the man's expression change after he ran my card, his computer had informed him that I was a SeeD of the highest rank and probably noted that I was one of the people who had fought alongside the Headmaster of Balamb Garden against Sorceresses and other baddies.

“Cleared, Miss Tilmitt,” the man said nervously. “Need to see his too. It's procedure... sorry.” 

“No problem,” I glanced at the man's name tag quickly, feeling bad for not remembering his name. “Dalton.” Seifer pulled out his newly issued identification card and we both got to watch as Dalton the attendant’s eyes grew wide a second time. I resisted the urge to giggle at the reaction. 

“It's okay for him to leave the premises with you?” Dalton asked slowly, his pale eyes still wide. He was shifting his gaze between Seifer and I rapidly.

The reports of who rented cars and when were sent to Squall each day, this I was aware of. Squall would know whether or not I told him that Seifer and I went out. Smiling confidently, I nodded my head, “Of course it is.”

Dalton nodded in return and immediately provided us with the paperwork we were required to sign that made us agree to being charged for any damages to Garden vehicles. I was pretty proud of my clean driving record, as well as my pristine flying record. When we both had signed and I had verified the charge for the rental, the attendant gave me the keys to a casual, deep red, four-door vehicle. It was pretty sleek. 

“Ooh! Cushy!” I remarked as I wiggled my butt around in the driver’s seat. “Buckle up, Almasy! I'm HUNGRY!” The garage doors opened and I eased us onto the road. The night was clear and the roads peaceful. Our trip wouldn’t take long at all! 

“Hey, Seify,” I said curiously. “D’you drive? Or did you? I never asked, sorry.”

“I was licensed before... everything,” Seifer replied, staring away from me and out at the view. “It's been ages since I last drove. Dunno if this new I.D. card permits it.”

“Huh! Well, I'll mention it to Squally and see. He might make you wait until after your two years are up. Maybe it can be provisionary or somethin’! Next time, I'll let you drive us out for late night snacks. Wouldn't hurt to keep ya in the practice! Heehee. I like driving, though flying is way more fun!”

Seifer simply chuckled politely and continued staring out the window. I didn't press him further or ask anything else. He had not seen the island in a long time. Balamb had been his home. I decided he should get to see it in peace.

  
  


Much to my satisfaction, Burgers by the Sea was not super packed. I was able to snag a parking spot right up front. Excitedly, I unbuckled my seatbelt and practically flung myself out of the car. I was super duper hungry! My poor tummy was making all sorts of embarrassing noises. I held open the door for Seifer, he didn't argue with my chivalry this time.

The pretty waitress motioned for us to sit wherever, so I plunk myself down in a booth near the doors. That seemed to be the best idea, in my opinion. There were a handful of sailors hanging out at the bar, flirting shamelessly with the female bartender. I didn't think Seifer potentially being recognized by some drunken seamen was a good possibility. The pretty waitress came back, introduced herself as Malys and gave us menus. Seifer only took one long look at the girl before staring down at his menu. I was amazed by that; Malys was super cute with her curly hair and red cheeks and huge jugs. Choosing not to think about it too much, I tried to figure out what I wanted to eat.

Seifer and I both ended up ordering basically the same thing; bacon cheeseburgers (mine with avocado, the pickles held on his) and extra crispy fries. Seifer got water and I asked for a sprite. A daiquiri had been tempting, but I was driving us back so I withheld. Maybe next time. 

“Similar orders,” I smiled at him and offered a thumbs up. “Awesome-possum!”

“Great minds?” Seifer said with a half-smile of his own. 

His smile caught me off-guard and it made mine grow wider, “Exactly! Heehee. That's pretty much my go-to late night meal.”

“Never can go wrong with a bacon cheeseburger,” Seifer concurred. 

Conversation became easier for us suddenly, not the strained, half-assed chatter we had been making over lunch the last few days. Seifer and I talked music; talking about bands we both liked and I told him about how I taught myself to play guitar. We discussed the Garden Festival a bit, but that was mostly one-sided with me chattering on about how stoked I was about the upcoming event. I mentioned that I was a bridesmaid at the upcoming Leonhart wedding, to which Seifer commented on his past fling with Rinoa. He even mentioned a bit of life in prison. Nothing too detailed, just little things like how he had to listen to some people cry themselves to sleep, or the time someone rigged up a shank and tried to stab another prisoner.

When our bellies were full, I paid and we booked it right as the seamen were starting to perform very bad karaoke to Julia Caraway songs. Neither of us wanted to witness that atrocity. The outside air was a little chilly and it felt like it might rain again soon. I pulled my cardigan around myself, stopping to look out at the sea. It sure was pretty out here at night with the moon peeking out from behind the clouds, the stars twinkling, and there was nothing but silence.

“This is where I was arrested,” Seifer came up beside me. His voice sounded sad and contemplative. He took a few steps toward the docks and I followed. “I was hiding out here with Raijin and Fujin. Shouldn't call it hiding out. It was more like being a dipshit. I didn't think... I don't really know what I expected to happen. But, I was found and taken away to the Memorial immediately.” 

“What happened to Raijin and Fujin?” I pressed quietly, looking up at his solemn disposition. 

Seifer shrugged and let out a heavy sigh, “I don't fucking know. Probably left for somewhere better. Away from me. It's better that way. I brought ‘em down.”

“Don't say that,” the words slipped out without consideration. “I bet they miss you!” 

Seifer slipped his hands into his pockets, staring up at the partially concealed moon. I stared too, thinking about the Lunar Cry. It made me shudder to remember all of those monsters and how creepy it all was. Adel’s painted face grinning maniacally at us had plagued my dreams for a long while afterwards. Gosh, it felt like just yesterday we had been battling her. I stood beside Seifer silently as he continued his pensive gaze upward. There was no way for me to know what he was thinking without asking him, but I knew better. His answer would be false or something sarcastic to get me off of his back. I'd let him keep his secrets. 

“We can go,” Seifer mumbled stiffly, turning his back on the pier and heading for the car. Trailing behind him, I clicked the button for the car to unlock.

Before we reached the car, Seifer stopped and turned to face me, his expression angry and clouded. His mouth was contorted into a sneer, teeth clenched and all. He was hurting. He wanted to lash out at something, or anyone, I could tell. It caught me off-guard and I stopped in my tracks, a couple paces behind him. My mouth was open, trying to find some way to extinguish his pain, but I had nothing. The only thing I could think of was to close the gap and embrace him, so I did just that. Seifer was much taller than I was, so I threw my arms around his middle and squeezed. Not too tightly, as we had just eaten, but enough to try and show him that I cared about his misery. 

I expected him to push me away; to say something sarcastic and tell me to leave him alone. But, Seifer surprised me and put his arms around me in return, delicately looping them around my waist. He mumbled something and what I thought I heard made my heart pound - “ _ It's been so long since I've held a woman.” _

“What?” I asked without thinking and we both jumped away from each other. I stared at him, probably looking like a frightened animal. 

“I didn't say anything,” Seifer retorted and stomped back to the car. The ride home was peaceful and mostly quiet, but definitely not a bad kind of quiet. 

  
  


Sleep came to me quickly once I returned to my dorm. My dreams were filled with weird scenes; like watching Rinoa dance in a poofy wedding gown as a tray of burgers passed by me carried by a man who looked a lot like Nida. Squall was yelling at me not to eat anymore, screaming that I was already unhealthy and I would be too fat to be a SeeD soon. I cried and ran away, his loud voice haunting me. I bumped into Irvine, who was dressed in a tuxedo, was hatless, and looking as handsome as ever. He touched my face, trying to soothe my hysterics, but Squall’s booming voice made me run away again. The hall suddenly ended, leaving me in a dead end. Irvine was staring at me from the other end, still beckoning for me. I cried harder and harder as Seifer’s voice joined Squalls. They were both so angry...

I awoke with a shriek, flinging my pillow at the figure standing at the foot of my bed. It  _ was _ Squall and he looked very irate. My stomach twisted as I stared at him, hoping I didn't look as sheepish as I felt. I swallowed back some nerves at the sight of his disapproving face, “Good thing I don't sleep nude, Squall.”

“What were you thinking? Do you understand the definition of house arrest?!”

I pulled my blue and gray striped comforter up to my chin, “I do, but I was hungry and--”

“You had no authority to take him off grounds without my approval. This could have been a breach of contract had anything untoward occurred in Balamb. It is a miracle that there is nothing in the papers about it and no one seemed to notice either of you,” Squall said coolly, his steely eyes glowering down at me. He crossed his arms and sighed, “He has been here for less than a week. That, in no way, tells me he has the privilege to leave on any account. In the future, for good behavior, perhaps, but this is too soon and NOT your call to make, Tilmitt.”

In the end, I wasn't punished, but Squall had most certainly let me hear it. For nearly twenty minutes... and I deserved worse. I settled on not telling Seifer that I had gotten in trouble for taking him out. 


	5. Chapter Five

I refrained from doing anything else to piss off Squall Leonhart and continued having lunch with Seifer daily, while doing my normal thing around Garden. Since our outing the night I snuck him out, Seifer and I had a better connection. It was still a little weird as some topics seemed to bring us down an awkward path where neither of us wanted to talk any further, but that was mostly when it came to things like Rinoa, relationships, and his past aggressions toward us. The whole thing between us felt like we were just slightly more than professional acquaintances. We didn't hug anymore beyond that night on Balamb’s pier, but it was clear we enjoyed each other's company. In fact, the lunch date before I was leaving for Timber to be on backup and help score the field exam, Seifer remarked that he might miss me the next day. When I had cooed over his admission, he had sweetly told me to fuck off. I didn’t want to admit it either, but I knew I would miss him. That was something I would definitely not be mentioning to Rinoa anytime soon.

I was still thinking about it all when I heard a voice come over the communicator Squall held, panicked and high-pitched, “Squad A Captain to Squad E, have you made it to the bomb site yet? We need it disabled before we can move forward! I repeat, Squad A to--”

A large explosion from the direction of the rumored bomb location shook the ground beneath us. Screams and shouts filled the air, civilians were running and a thick, acrid smell tickled my nose. I felt bile crawl up my esophagus.  _ Squad E hadn't disabled the bomb. Oh, Hyne. _

“Squall, orders?” Quistis quipped shortly, her hand tight on her whip and her face pale. I could tell she was thinking what I was thinking -- this mission was too much for the cadets. The Timber Truests must have known we were coming as nothing had gone as planned from the start. Squad C’s Captain, one of my students, had mentioned thirty minutes before that one of their squad members had been taken hostage in a location we’d had intel on belonging to a civilian party. My student had escaped captivity, along with another, but their squad was one person down.

“Dispatch all SeeD. Eliminate the threat. All cadets are to assist with the evacuation of civilians,” our leader's voice was cold and hard, his eyes glazed over with rage. “Our job is to remove the terrorists from Timber. Use your communicators. Move out!”

Quistis and I walked briskly off together, our weapons at the ready. Squall, Zell, and Xu headed in the other direction. A handful of other SeeD went tearing toward those who needed help. Quistis and I were heading toward the bomb site, hoping to find survivors. I was worried about the two students of mine that had passed the Fire Cavern exam. Merissa had been on Squad B, sent to do reconnaissance at a train station for any fleeing Truest members, but I hadn't heard anything from them in a while. My Squad C captain, Li Hoyer, had been pretty vocal over the communicators since his squadmate had been taken, but I was worried about his life nonetheless. I knew Quistis was feeling similarly about her own students.

The closer we got to the south exit, the more horror we witnessed. Civilians were dead in the roads. A pair of cadets I recognized, but couldn't put names to, lay motionless with limbs missing in the yard of what was left of someone's home. The view turned my stomach and brought tears to my eyes. This was not the right way to handle disapproval of leadership. This was not the way to fight dictatorship. They had killed so many innocents for their idea of freedom. Swallowing back my desire to cry, we trudged onward. More grotesque displays greeted us as we progressed forward and I sincerely wished we had been able to get more innocents out before this had begun.

Resistance members, masked and armed, paraded near the south gate. They cheered, they held up signs of hate, and they looked utterly happy with themselves. It took a bit for me to realize what they were saying. The mayor was dead. They had won. Quistis hissed and gasped at the sight of the man's head lying at their feet. The mayor’s head looked as if it had been kicked around, like a ball. It made my blood boil.

One of them sent a Thundara at us upon noticing we were coming, but we both dodged it easily. I countered with my Blizzaga magic, knocking them out instantaneously, and then I proceeded to execute him with a nunchaku blow to the head. Quistis summoned Leviathan while they were distracted with me. Three more fell at the hands of Leviathan, followed by my well-timed attack with my nunchaku. Nida joined us, casting Curas and Ultimas in rapidfire. I had forgotten how adept he was with magic. 

The rebels never seemed to end. We were clinging on just barely with well-timed heals from Nida. Three other SeeD joined us and we were six, standing in a circle casting spells and slamming approachers with our weapons. When one of us would fall, another would heal us. We had access to better magic than these foes and it showed. Some of the resistance fled from Timber and none of us chased. Those weren't our orders, we were to rid the city of the threat. 

When Nida collapsed next to me, I lost my focus. He was our healer! Fumbling in my pockets, I swore vehemently in a way that would have probably made Seifer’s mouth drop. I managed to spill the Phoenix Down into Nida’s open mouth before I was shot in the side with a well-timed bullet, followed by a double-cast of Thundara. I clutched at my side, hurriedly casting Rapture on the Truests member who had injured me. There was blood spilling out of my right side and I could taste it in my mouth. I spat, something I abhorred doing, and fell to the ground with a cry. Another Thundara hit me and I screamed shamelessly. I could hear Quistis calling for Leviathan again and another voice using their limit break. Nida was frantically mumbling about being out of Cura. I felt the light touch of a simple Cure touch me, just barely bringing out of my nearly K.O.d state.

  
  


A SeeD whose face blurred before me helped me up, telling that Galbadia was here to help and we were leaving. Someone must have contacted them to tell them the situation hours ago, or perhaps they had people ready should things in Timber become serious. Whatever the reason, I was thrilled. Galbadia wanted control of Timber, as everyone knew. This time, they seemed more willing to work with the city and give them some freedom, but there was a lot of doubt. I hoped they could find a better way to handle the rebels. The SeeD assisting me tipped a potion into my mouth, but it did not seem to help. The realization as to why struck me with certainty.

“Poisoned,” I said weakly, my eyes blurring and watering. “Poisoned shot.” My bullet wound was hurting, throbbing, aching. I could feel the poison in my veins. I needed an antidote or an Esuna quickly. The longer it remained in my system, the harder it was to cure. I saw Quistis helping Nida walk, with her hair askew and she was wincing. 

“Who has an antidote?!” the girl helping me shouted to our group. “Tilmitt’s been poisoned! We need an antidote, or an Esuna, stat!”

No one had anything on them that would help me. I had Remedy’s in my travel bag, but that was all the way back in my dormitory in Balamb. I should have brought them, but I hadn’t expected to get involved this much. I felt foolish and my entire body throbbed. I could hear Quistis coaxing Nida to keep going forward and that everything was going to be okay. I knew Nida must have been in bad shape for Quistis to be talking like that.

Squall, Xu, and Zell met up with us as we hurried toward where we would be retreating from. I could hear the G-Army asking questions, barking orders, and looking for the mayor. I heard a voice shout the mayor was dead. Through my blurring vision, I could see my friends and fellow SeeDs, but I felt like I was going to hurl. Poison was ticking down my life, getting me closer and closer to unconsciousness. 

“Willowbrook! What's wrong with Tilmitt?” I heard Squall question the SeeD helping me walk. I could almost remember her first name, it was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't think of it. Something with a ‘T’, but my brain was going fuzzy. Squall asked the same of Quistis, but regarding Nida.

“We need an antidote! Or Esuna!” SeeD Willowbrook told him. “She was shot with a poisoned bullet.”

I felt the magic of Esuna wash over me, making my skin scalding hot for a moment, before cooling down and leaving behind sweaty skin. The feather-light kiss of another Cure tickled me and I breathed a sigh of relief. Zell had saved the day. My nausea dissipated, but the soreness of my bullet wound lingered. Nida and I would be bound for the hospital wing upon our return.

“Balamb SeeD and cadets are dismissed. Head for the cars, we will ship back to Balamb at 1700 hours,” Squall announced. “Galbadia will take care of this city for now, figure out what to do. Our job is done for now. Willowbrook, Dincht-- get all injured out of here immediately. Tell any of ours you see to retreat. Be on alert, there may still be Truests around. The rest of you with me, we will spread the word and look for survivors.”

  
  
  


I found out in the Infirmary that we had lost sixteen in total - ten cadets and six SeeD. Li and Merissa had both survived, as well as my closest friends. But, we had lost some good people. Ten cadets had made SeeD, but I didn’t have the names yet. Dr. Kadowaki left me to mull over the news as I rested in the hospital bed. The Infirmary was filled with wounded, including myself, Nida, Quistis, and Squall. Squall had only minor cuts, while Quistis had sprained her wrist somewhere during our battle. Nida had burns on his left leg, was suffering from the mental exhaustion that came with rapid magic casting, and a large knife gash in his right thigh that was having trouble healing. Others were suffering from similar damage. 

I dozed off and on, often waking up to the excruciating pressure in my side. The bullet had been removed and it was clean, but  _ Hyne, _ did it hurt. My body was also very twitchy from all of the Thundara cast on me. Dr. K said I would be well enough soon and I had no choice but to believe her. My patience was not in prime shape at the moment. With everything that had happened, I had a million questions bursting to be answered. 

Rinoa visited me first, pale-faced and worried. She first told me that Irvine was worried sick about me and would be by with flowers, and then asked nervously if I'd seen Zone or Watt in Timber, to which I replied that I had not. She didn’t stay long, for I was drowsy as heck from the pain medication. Irvine arrived after I woke again, with beautiful, colorful daisies that he placed on the nightstand. He was sweet, making me laugh until I winced. Irvy kissed my cheek goodbye when I got tired again and promised he would come by again soon. Seifer came the next afternoon, looking quite angry. 

“Hey,” I had greeted him sleepily from the bed, just waking up from another pain medication-induced sleep. Seifer stood in the doorway, staring at me with narrowed eyes. “C’mon in,” I motioned him forward.

He sat down in the visitor’s chair beside my bed with his fists clenched and face furious. Leaning forward, Seifer said slowly, “I waited for you yesterday when everyone came back. You weren't there and no one would tell me where you were.”

“You thought I died.” It wasn't a question, but I was a little shocked by his demeanor. I could only imagine what he had assumed, not seeing me arrive with everyone else, as myself and the other injured had been ushered through an emergency entrance near the Infirmary for quicker treatment and less attention. People might have been spreading the news about our dead comrades, maybe not specifying names. Six SeeD had died and Seifer had worried one was me. My mind reeled over that... what did it mean?  _ Stop it, Selphie, you’re being silly. You’re his only friend right now. _

A clenched fist moved to his knee, where he flexed it a few times. Seifer’s focus on me was piercing and it rendered me speechless. He didn't stop staring, “Of course I did. Everyone is saying things got bad in Timber.”

“Yeah, it got bad,” I winced as I tried to sit up further, ultimately giving up and staying collapsed against the pillows. “There are people worse off than I am, but if you want to know -- it was a poisoned bullet to the side and about a dozen shocks from Thundara. I'm sore, but okay and definitely alive. Sorry I worried you, Seifer.”

He didn't say anything, just stared at me fiercely. What in the world was I supposed to say and why was he so mad? I scratched at my cheek and pulled my eyes away from his vivid aquamarine gaze. My brain thought about what Rinoa had grilled me about two weeks ago. That conversation had felt like months ago, but it really had only been a couple of weeks. The start of new classes began in two days, which Seifer would be a part of. I glanced up at him again, noticing that his expression had softened marginally. What was I supposed to say to him?

“Seifer,” I started slowly, trying not to sound distressed. This wasn’t the time to ask, but I couldn’t help myself. “Why are you so upset?”

“I don't know,” he replied harshly, his jaw tight. “I fucking panicked when I didn't see you. I finally got Chickenwuss to tell me you were here.” Seifer stood up abruptly, a hand going through his hair. He looked like he wanted to flee instead of talking to me about his feelings. I didn’t blame him, but I really needed to know what he felt for me. If it was more than friendship... what would I do? My heart pounded.

“Do you--” I started to ask him if he had feelings for me in a romantic way, but Seifer cut me off.

“Get well soon, Tilmitt. I don't like eating lunch alone. You’re all I’ve got keeping me fucking sane here,” Seifer jerked a hand out to pat my head twice, then bolted from the room in a hurry.

  
  


His words rattled around in my head, even after I was released from the Infirmary the next day. Squall told me to take it easy until I was back to a hundred percent. He also told me that while Li Hoyer had been promoted to SeeD, Merissa Paes had failed by a couple of points, losing the most to the inability to remain calm and level headed in a stressful situation. She would be retaking some of her classes, including redoing nunchaku training with me. I was disappointed to hear that Merissa had failed, and was even more disappointed to see her in a state of complete disarray when I went to check on her. After many tears, a long talk, and about a dozen hugs; I had convinced Merissa to try again. A couple of points off the mark wasn't bad, I knew she would blow it out of the water next time. She would keep going to her counseling sessions to get a firmer hold on her nerves and anxiety, while I would keep pushing for her to constantly improve as a fighter. There was no need to quit just yet.

Next, I visited Irvine at his room. While I was too weak and fragile for anything too strenuous, we ended up fooling around a bit before taking a nap together. I left feeling guilty and sleazy, without really knowing why. And when I went with Rinoa and Quistis to finalize the bridesmaid dresses three weekends later, I hesitated to tell them what was going on in my busy little mind.

They both made little jokes about my lunchtime meetings with Seifer and I had laughed it off, saying nothing at all about his hug in the city or what I could have sworn he had said, nor did I mention his outburst in the Infirmary. I didn’t even tell them how horrible and guilty I felt after messing around with Irvy. Instead, I had smiled and quickly changed the subject to how cute our ice blue dresses were.

We had planned for a long weekend in Deling City, just the three of us. We had left late Thursday night on the Ragnarok, with Squall’s approval to use it for leisure and wouldn’t be returning until Monday evening. We had dinner with Rinoa’s father that Friday night after we had settled on our dresses, and he had courteously offered for us to stay in his large mansion instead of us shelling out money for a hotel that wasn't as nice as what he could provide us. Of course, we accepted the offer and checked out of the Deling Hotel immediately. Later that night, the three of us went out drinking at a classy bar, stumbling back to the Caraway mansion at nearly one in the morning. Rinoa collapsed face first, still in her cocktail dress and heels, in her old bedroom, while Quistis and I fumbled around to find our guest rooms.

After waving goodbye to Quisty, I ducked into my room and shut the door. Unable to keep my balance well, I managed to unlace my heeled, black boots and tossed them to the side. I was tired, drunk, and uncoordinated, not wanting to put the effort into stripping out of my floral printed dress. I whipped out the cell phone I had brought with me. It was Garden issued and for Garden business only. Squall was paranoid sometimes and had forced one each upon all three of us for just-in-case situations. I didn’t really blame him for being paranoid after what had happened in Timber. The city was still recovering from the bombing, but the Truests were laying low... at least for now.

Without thinking about it, I dialed the information line at Garden and lay back on the fluffy pillows. My heart was pounding and my head was fuzzy. I grinned like an idiot and tried to sound completely sober as I spoke to the operator, “Seifer Almasy’s room please.”

The line began ringing after the briefest of pauses and I had to fight harder and harder every second to not have the giggle fits. Seifer answered on the third ring, sounding wide awake, but apprehensive. I was relieved that I wasn’t waking him up out of a deep sleep or anything.

“Hi,” I said breathlessly, rolling over onto my belly. “It's Selphie.”

He was quiet for a moment, I could hear him rustling papers and the phone being adjusted, ”Something wrong, Messenger Girl?”

“No,” I snickered, biting the nail of my left thumb a moment. “I missed you at lunch time today.” Why was I saying that? What was I doing even calling him in the first place?!

Another pause. Seifer eventually chuckled, “Have you been drinking?”

“Yikes. Is it  _ that _ obvious? I’m trying super-duper hard to sound sober right now,” I whispered, but my unsuppressed giggle was loud. “We went out to a  _ bar _ . We wore cute dresses and did our hair.”

“Oh, cute dresses, huh?”

“Mhm,” I nodded, despite him not being able to see my face. “Mine is mostly white, with black and navy flowers on it. Kinda short, but not in a provocative way or anything. I wish you could have come to Deling with me, Seify. I would have preferred to dance with you over Hot Limo Guy.”

“Hot Limo Guy?”

I twirled my hair and stared at a loose thread on the dark green, satin pillowcases, “Mm, yeah. He arrived in a limo! Teehee. He was pretty shameless about hitting on me, it was gross to some extent. Worst pick-up lines ever! He had nice eyes and a cute butt, but he was too handsy. You should have been there, coulda been my knight in shining armor and whisked me away.” I sighed dramatically at the end.

“Hmmph,” Seifer grumped through the phone. “Yeah, well, I would have liked to have come with you.”

“Really?” I beamed and sat up, sitting pretzel style. Drunk Selphie wanted to pretend that Seifer wanted to be there to be with her, not because he was bored as all heck in Balamb. “That makes me happy. I would have liked dancing with you much, much more.” The alcohol made me feel bold and daring, my heart beating like a drum as I whispered racily into the phone, “I might not have been so upset if you were trying to put your hands in the places he was aiming for.”

“Are you sure you called the right number?” Seifer pressed, sounding as if he didn’t believe what I was saying in the slightest. 

“Yes,  _ Seifer _ ,” I sighed loudly; a little  _ too _ loudly, actually. “I have been thinking about you all day.” 

“Hmm, really now? I think you should get some sleep, shrimpy,” Seifer replied.

“Maaaaaybe,” I drawled. “Can I call you tomorrow too?” I hopped off the bed and started to try to unzip my dress. My foot caught on a stray boot and I stumbled, smacking into a bookshelf. I winced, both from pain and hoping I didn’t alarm anyone.

“Sure... What are you  _ doing _ ?”

“Trying to take my clothes off,” I whined, rubbing my elbow. “Tripped and hit a flippin’ bookcase. Owwwieee.”

“You shouldn't say things like that to me,” his voice was low and dangerous. It sent chills up my spine as I finally loosened my dress enough to slide it off. I placed it on top of my suitcase for now.

“Like what, ‘Owwie’?” My face flushed as I played dumb. Something about the way he was talking struck me in a good, almost arousing way. It made my skin prickle. I bit my lip.

“I know you're not that dense, Tilmitt, though you pretend a little too well. Go to sleep. You're going to be so fucking embarrassed by this conversation tomorrow. Hurry back, space cadet. It sucks eating lunch alone.”

“Im’unna call you tomorrow,” I repeated and hung up the phone quickly. I felt sheepish, flustered, and excited as I jumped into bed and fell asleep.

  
  


Somehow, both Quistis and I woke up feeling great. Rinoa, on the other hand, was nursing a small hangover. She sipped a cup of sugarless, chamomile tea and had some painkillers as we had breakfast (though it was more like lunch, given what time it was). Our plan today was shopping, a movie, and then dinner at a restaurant Rinoa really liked. It was a classy place with good wine, music, and excellent Deling cuisine. Quistis and I were pretty stoked about it. Rinoa’s father had excellent connections, so we were able to get in without a six-month in advance reservation. It was pretty great their relationship was getting better.

While we shopped, my mind kept darting back to my conversation with Seifer from the night before. I couldn't get that low, deep, lusty sounding voice out of my head. It was incredibly flattering, and sexy, but the doubtful side of me couldn't help but wonder if that was because he had been without physical contact for so long. I frowned, wondering why I cared so much, but I knew the answer to that too. I was starting to like him, more than just a lunchtime buddy. His past didn’t matter to me, what people said to him in the halls wasn’t accurate, and I wanted to see him again  _ immediately _ . I thought about Seifer during the movie, too, unable to stop myself. The movie was cheesy, romantic, and unrealistic, but my stupid brain instantly pictured Seifer bursting into a dinner party to declare his love for me, just like the main actor had in the film. 

  
  


By dinner, I was an internal wreck. I had convinced myself that I was just missing a relationship and the physical contact that came with it. Maybe I'd have to end up in Irvy’s room for a bit when we got back to Balamb, but I didn't think I really wanted that. Not from him, anyway. That realization made me go scarlet and finally, Quistis called me out.

“Are you feeling okay?” Quistis put her hand on my head. “You've been out of it all day and you've had more wine than chicken, Selphie.”

To contradict her, I stuffed some herb-roasted chicken and honeyed peas into my mouth and glared at her as I chewed. I avoided her perplexed gaze and fiddled with the bow on the back of the deep purple dress I had on. Now Rinoa was staring at me too, but she was smirking. Like the evil know-it-all Sorceress wench she was.

“Anything you want to talk about?” Rinoa simpered and took a long sip of wine, putting her elbows on the table to lean toward me.

Could my face go any more red? I fidgeted, “No?”

“Uh-huh, you've been lost in the clouds all day, missy, and I'm getting quite curious as to  _ why _ ,” Rinoa murmured suspiciously. Darn her and her soul-piercing eyes! It was like she could see right through me.

Quistis cleared her throat, “Is it whoever you were talking to last night? I could hear you giggling, but I couldn’t make out anything that was said.”

Cue my face being on fire. I fanned myself and laughed awkwardly, “It's hot as heck in here. Maybe I should go outside for a bit, heehee.” I stood up to leave, but Rinoa snatched my wrist and yanked me back down to my seat.

“Oh, no you don't, Selphie Tilmitt! Who did you call last night?!” Her eyes were excited. Rinoa was brimming with the need to know. I had an inkling I knew what she was thinking. Damn her. It was all her fault, she put these thoughts into my head about Seifer all of those weeks ago.

“Uh, Irvine?” I replied lamely. Sheesh, I needed to learn to lie better.

Rinoa raised a single eyebrow at my blatant fib, “So, if I were to ask Irvine  _ right now _ \--”

“Ack! OKAY! I drunk-dialed Seifer! Happy?!”

Quistis choked on her wine and grabbed a napkin, coughing hard as she hastily tried to regain her composure. Rinoa smiled knowingly at me and patted Quistis on the back. When Quisty finally recovered, the blonde looked at me with bemusement on her face, “So, you two are...?”

“Friends,” I confirmed, but couldn't hide my scarlet cheeks. I attempted to appear fascinated with my chicken and pushed it around my plate.

“Right... and what did you two talk about?” Rinoa pried in a sickeningly sweet voice. I wanted to smack the smirk off of her face.

I pouted, “Just about my day and Hot Limo Guy...” 

Quistis smiled and put a hand on my wrist. Her voice was dripping with sugar, too, “And?”

I made a face at my friends, “I told him I missed him, okay! Hyne, guys! I'm such an idiot!” I covered my face with my hands and made a pitiful whining noise. Why?! Why was this happening?!

“Awww!” both of them squealed at the same time and the questions were shot at me faster than Irvine’s limit break.

“So, do you like him?”

“What did Seifer say when you said you missed him?!”

“When did this start?”

“I knew it! Are you bringing him to the wedding?”

“Are you two dating?!”

“Do you WANT to date him?

“Are you okay with everyone hating your boyfriend?”

“Well not everyone--”

“Guys!!” I tried to stop them in their tracks, putting my hands in surrender. “Nothing is happening! Holy moly! I all but admitted I felt something, albeit drunkenly, and he didn't say he felt the same. So, I don't know. It will pass. Maybe we both just need to get laid or something.” I chortled half-heartedly and hoped to deter the conversation. 

“That sounds like a good way to explore the possibility of a relationship,” Rinoa waggled her eyebrows. 

“Oh, yeah, and lose a friend. He doesn't talk to anyone but me really. Even the Garden Festival committee isn't very welcoming to him. One person actually quit,” I admitted. That had been pretty rough, but I was determined not to let things like that get to me. They would see that Seifer was repenting, they would learn to forgive him for being weak-willed and letting a Sorceress control him. In time, people might actually try to get to know him.

“Never know until you try,” Quistis offered, sipping daintily on her wine again. “If you like him, so be it. I can’t say I’m thrilled at the idea of you and him together, but I haven’t seen you this worked up  _ ever. _ ”

“Can I say ‘I told you so’ yet?” Rinoa interrupted, beaming at me. “No? It’s too early isn’t it? I suppose I can try again in, like, a week.” 

“Guys!” I groaned, wanting to sink into the floor and disappear. “What do I do? I should totally just forget about it, right? Ugh.”

Quistis shook her head, “No, you should do what your heart desires. Ask him outright if he is interested. In my experience, men like a woman who can be blunt and upfront about things like that. It shows confidence and confidence is sexy, Selph. A man like Seifer would probably get quite riled up if you were to approach him and tell him bluntly how you felt, putting your offer on the table. Men eat that up, I promise you. Well, most men.” She glanced pointedly at Rinoa, who snickered and nodded in agreement. Squall was an oddity.

“I’m not as slick as you, Quisty,” I complained. It was true. Quistis was great at wrapping men around her finger. She was so calm, collected, and always knew what she wanted. When she set her sights on someone, Quistis didn’t pussyfoot around the subject. She had learned from getting spurned in the past and had grown from it. I was glad she had found her backbone. 

Rinoa held up her glass, “Well, this toast is to you girls. I love you both and I hope you both find men who make you as happy as Squall makes me. Thanks for being my bridesmaids, thanks for being my friends, and thanks for being here with me tonight. Quistis, you’re beautiful and I adore your newfound confidence. Selph, you’re also beautiful and I hope you bone the life out of Seifer when we get back.”

Quistis laughed loudly and I pouted, but we all clinked glasses. It wasn’t long before we were refilled on wine and we sunk into another night of tipsiness and fantastic girltime.


	6. Chapter Six

Somehow, we ended up more belligerent than the night before. The wine had hit Quistis hard and Rinoa and I found us having to practically carry her to a cab so we could head back to Rinoa’s father’s estate. Singing and swaying, Quistis serenaded us with oldies the entire car ride. Rinoa apologized to the driver, who was holding back tears of laughter. We tipped big and dragged all of our drunk bums inside.

Rinoa and I got Quistis in bed and the blonde woman passed out rather quickly. Thinking ahead, Rinoa got a large cup of water and some painkillers to set beside the nightstand. Tomorrow, we were supposed to go see a play with Rinoa’s father and we would be having a drink-free night, as we were heading back to Balamb early Monday morning. 

We both went back to the kitchen and got ourselves each a tall glass of water. I slurred a goodbye to Rinoa when I reached my guest room and she told me to have fun calling Seifer. Feeling emboldened by our girl talk earlier, I told her proudly that I would. I yanked my silky, purple dress off over my head and practically flung my heels across the room. One hit the wall I was sharing with Quistis with a large thunk. It made me laugh so hard that I had to run in my underwear down the hall to the restroom before I wet myself. It was a blessing that Rinoa’s father slept upstairs. 

Once the giggles had subsided and I was back from the bathroom, I dialed information and asked for Seifer’s room again. I was pretty sure it was the same operator, as they sounded exasperated with me. Or maybe it was the fact that I wasn’t even trying to sound sober.

Seifer answered on the first ring, his voice deep and sultry. I bit my lip and smiled up at the ceiling, “Hi.”

“I was wondering if you were going to call me again,” Seifer sounded like he was smiling. I liked that. 

“Told you I would,” I grinned through the phone. My mind reeled with eight-hundred different things to say, but all that came out was, “I’m going to be sooooo sick tomorrow. Heeheehee.”

Seifer tsked at me and it sounded like he was pacing back and forth in his dorm, “What were you drinking?”

“Expensive wine. Lots of it,” I replied mournfully.

“Yeah, that will fuck you right up. Drink some water.”

I sat up, picked up my full glass, and took a sip. Some of it slopped onto my chest and bra, “Aye, aye, Cap’n. But, kinda spilled some. Bummer.”

He laughed; a genuine one that made me beam in return, “You sound pretty cute when you’re drunk.”

“You’re pretty cute in general,” I fired back, hoping I sounded mature and sexy. Drunk Selphie was feeling quite impressed with herself for being so witty and quick.

“Hmm,” Seifer replied thoughtfully. I wondered what he was thinking, but before I could ask he spoke again, “Are you hitting on me, Tilmitt?”

My face grew warm and my stomach rolled in excitement, “What if I am?”

“I might like it.”

“Then I definitely am.”

There was a pause and then Seifer let out a deep breath, “Come home and say that to my face then, completely sober. I don’t like being played, Space Cadet. Drunk girls are known to lie.”

I took another gulp of water, set it down harder than I meant to and lay back on the bed, “Hey Seifer, guess what?”

“What?”

“I’m not dressed right now.”

He chuckled, deep and throaty, “Fuck, you’re a dirty girl aren’t you? Color me surprised, Tilmitt, color me fuckin’ surprised. With all of your ‘teehee’s’ and ‘Booyaka!’s’ I thought you might be a prude.”

Bold, inebriated Selphie was an idiot and before I could even think about the words coming out of my mouth, they were spilling out of me like I was a busted fire hydrant, “You don’t even know the half of it, Seifer. The things I want to do to you... Hmm. I seriously can’t get you out of my head. It’s driving me nutso. I didn’t even rearerize- uhm, realized I liked you this much until I left you for a weekend.”

“Fuck, Selphie.”

“That’s the first time you said my name!” I chirped happily, grinning with my eyes shut. “Soooooooo.... D’you like me back?”

“We should talk about this when you return,” Seifer said firmly, his voice was a little strained. 

“Oh,” I said, completely stunned. My eyes opened instantly and filled with tears. “O-otay. Hey, Seify? Imma go sleep now, ‘kay?”

“Drink water. I’ll see you when you get back,” Seifer said, his voice gruff and stern. I didn’t like this tone as much as the deep, sexy one.

I hung up and let a few tears leak out. I was stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I have put myself out there like that? Why did I let a stupid jerk make me sad? He probably thought I was a pathetic little girl. A man like him would desire women who didn’t look like they were still fourteen years old. I could picture him with someone mature, like Quisty. The thought of it shattered my little drunken heart and I cried myself to sleep.

The next morning was rough for all three of us. I told them what I remembered of my conversation with Seifer, which was me saying perverted stuff and him telling me we would talk about it later, which to me meant I was being turned down. The girls were supportive and offered me good, solid advice like talking to him when I wasn’t intoxicated, like Seifer wanted, and being honest with him. The three of us moped about the house and took cat naps to soothe our hangovers while we waited for the evening. Rinoa’s father took us to an excellent play and we all went to bed early to prepare for our flight home. Of course, going to bed didn’t help us any. We all slept in later than we had planned and didn’t start our trek home until the early afternoon.

On the Ragnarok, I was antsy and apprehensive about seeing Seifer. I kept replaying what I could recall of our phone conversations over and over in my head. Part of me wanted to pretend like I had never drunk dialed him, especially not twice. Another part of me wanted to confront him, corner him, and have my way with him. The last fraction of me wanted to just go find Irvine and get all my sexual frustrations out, thinking that might get me out of this weird crush-thing I was harboring for Seifer.

Why did I even like him anyway? Did I just feel sorry for him? Well, I did feel sorry for him, but also I found him interesting. He was sad sometimes, but really brave for coming back to a place where a majority of the people despised him. He looked hate in the eyes every day. Seifer was mean and harsh and always had stupid nicknames for everyone, but he could be sweet in his own way. His weird outburst in the Infirmary was definitely different, but it proved he at least cared for me in a friends-only manner. He was insightful and creative, surprisingly really good at artsy stuff. He had the mouth of a sailor, but could make me laugh. Seifer was beautiful to look at, too. Tall, slim, with the most beautiful eyes. Hyne, I loved his eyes.

Maybe I wanted more than friendship with him, but I could be content with just that if it came down to it. Besides, even if we built some sort of relationship, could it even withstand everything? Rinoa and Quistis were supportive, even though I knew Quistis didn’t care for him much. Zell, Irvine, and Squall would be less than impressed. Heck, most of Balamb wouldn’t be very pleased. 

By the time we reached Balamb Garden, all three of us were tired. Squall met us as we landed and Rinoa bounded into his arms, chatting away about our fun trip. I was grateful she left out any mention of me and my phone calls to Seifer. It may have been a futile effort on my part, but I had deleted the call history off of the borrowed cellphone. I gave it back to Squall before heading to my room. Quistis and I parted as we reached the SeeD hall. Her room was to the right and mine was to the left.

I dumped my suitcase in a corner and sat down on my bed. I thought about changing into pajamas and while I was pretty tired, I wasn’t quite ready for bed yet. I was wearing my old yellow dress with the zippers and buckles. I loved it, even if it was childish. Rinoa and Quistis gave me a hard time whenever they saw me in it. It was Quistis who had forced me to go shopping for more “adult” clothes. I now owned a plethora of cardigans, pencil skirts, and form-fitting jeans. I liked them, but my old dresses were comforting and felt like home.

My mind flitted to what Seifer might be up to. It wasn’t too late, he would probably be up, especially since I had called him super late two nights in a row. He did have classes tomorrow though. I bit my lip and frowned, thinking. I didn’t even know where his room was. I knew it was in the D-Wing, West Hall, but that was it. There were nameplates on the doors, so I could wander until I found the right one... 

Before I had really decided on what I was going to do or say, I headed out the door and into the cadet section of the dormitories. My eyes slid back and forth from each side, reading the names quickly once I got into the West Hall. My gaze settled on a door that had been graffitied and my mouth dropped. That had to be Seifer’s room.

Murderer!  
Sorceresses Bitch!

There were other things written on the door as well, but I couldn’t make it out. It looked like someone had crossed some of it out, or had tried to write something else over it. I frowned furiously, wondering if Squall knew yet and if we could paint over it. My fury disappeared quickly as I stood in front of Seifer’s door, wondering what to say or if I should even knock at all.

“Ugh, sheesh, Selphie,” I whispered to myself. “You probably look like a total weirdo right now!” I knocked, lightly. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t answer the door. Humming to myself, I put my hands behind my back and glanced around nervously. 

He answered, dressed in slacks and a white t-shirt. Seifer looked so big and menacing peering down at me with an unreadable gaze. He silently held open the door for me to come in, so I did, stepping gingerly into his room.

Everything was pretty tidy, which I found surprising, but then I realized that he didn’t own much. His old one-handed gunblade had been lost, most likely destroyed, so a new one lay in a case on his desk. The closest was open and a few uniforms were hung up, along with his old tattered trench coat. I didn’t know if he still wore it, but I doubted it. Likely, it just served as a reminder. I fiddled with my necklace and eyed the pile of books on his bed. Seifer had been studying? Interesting.

“Heya,” I said, my voice high-pitched. Clearing my throat, I spoke again, “We just got back, heehee. Thought I’d come say hi.”

Seifer looked like he was hiding a smile. He sat down on the bed and stared at me, his gaze penetrating, “How was it?”

“The trip or the flight?” I asked nervously. I put a hand behind my head and grazed some of my flippy hair. “Both were pretty good, actually. Er, how are you?”

“I’m fine,” he said slowly, eyeing me curiously. “Is there something you want to talk about?”

I fidgeted and nodded, stepping toward the desk so that I could stare down at his gunblade. It was so shiny and new... I missed having a shiny, clean nunchaku. That made me wonder if I could get a weapon upgrade... Realizing I was getting distracted, I started laughing, “Hahaha... Hi. Yeah, Seifer, I feel like an idiot. I am so, so, so sorry for being a drunk butthead and calling you late at night.”

“I didn’t mind,” he replied coolly. Seifer wouldn’t stop staring at me, it was seriously weirding me out.

“Was kinda rude of me though,” I said timidly, my face warming up. I continued staring at the design of the gunblades handle. It was pretty neat. “Heeey, I like your new gunblade.”

Seifer grunted, “You’re beating around the bush, Messenger Girl.”

“Whaaaat?” I feigned shock, finally meeting Seifer’s eyes. His expression was totally indecipherable, blank and empty, but there was something in his eyes. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it gave me a little boost, “Well, so about those phone calls.”

“Go on.”

“Wellllllll,” I drew out the word nice and long, then paused for a deep breath. “I am really sorry about the calls, but I-- I did miss you. And, I thought about you a lot. Pretty sure I was driving Rinny and Quisty nutso, teehee. My drunk mouth is pretty stupid, but most of what I said was true. I mean I-- I, uhm. That is...Uhm. Seifer, I really do li--” Seifer cut me off, jumping up from the bed and spooking me silent. He only needed one stride to reach me at his desk and my heart nearly leapt out of my chest when he pushed me against the wall and took my mouth with his. 

His lips were hungry, fierce, and his hands were tight on my hips. Our kiss was heated, passionate, and eager. I stood up on my tippy toes to throw my arms around his neck. With one hand, Seifer swooped me up over his shoulder and knocked the books to the floor with his free grip. The ferocity of him set my skin on fire and I felt dizzy when he tossed me on to the bed and knelt over me, giving me soft kisses along my jawline.

“Mmm, ahh,” I squeaked out unintentionally. “So, does that mean you feel the same?” The patheticness of those words sounded so horrible said aloud that I visibly winced.

“You’ve been on my mind for weeks, Tilmitt,” he said in that deep, lusty murmur I enjoyed so much. “I think I fell for you the second I saw you outside the Sorceress Memorial, leaning against the car in that killer outfit. You opened your mouth and said ‘Need a ride, handsome?’ No animosity. No disdain. No hate... It floored me. Fuck, Selphie. When I thought you might have died in Timber, the realization knocked me flat on my ass so fast.”

“You should have said something then,” I told him, touching the stubble on his cheek. The stubble was different, but it suited him. I hoped he kept it.

Seifer shook his head, “I almost did, in the Infirmary. Listen, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a felon, the world hates me. I’m the last fucking person someone like you should be with, Tilmitt. I’m shit at relationships to begin with, but I’m not any good for you. I know that much is true.”

“I’m shit at relationships, too,” I told him, allowing myself this moment to swear. I normally didn’t, except in rare situations. “The only boyfriend I’ve ever had is Irvy and you can see how that ended up, heh. I’unno what I’m doing either, but I do know that I like you.”

Seifer stared hungrily at me, “I can’t promise you anything. I have nothing to offer someone who saved the fucking world. But, Hyne, do I want you.” A hand slid over my thighs and up to hips again.

“Take me,” I whispered and this time, I could guarantee I sounded sexy.

Seifer kissed me again, his hand unzipping my yellow dress. I shrugged out of it, running my hands through his hair. Our lips left each other’s so that Seifer could remove his shirt, but we resumed where we left off immediately. His warm hands touched my skin, feeling all of my measly curves, while I stroked his chest and fiddled with the belt of his pants and then, my own bra. I felt drunk again, but this time without the blurred vision. His teeth grazed the skin of my breasts and I moaned, loudly. I couldn’t help myself. 

“Hyne, woman,” Seifer hissed into my ear as his fingers skimmed over my sex. “You’re fucking wet for me.”

I could barely form a cohesive sentence as he slid my panties down my legs and flung them onto the floor, “Please.”

“Mm, please what?” his fingers teased at me again, flicking against my clit once before he pulled them away. Seifer had a menacing look in his eyes as he looked down at me, “Tell me.”

“Oh,” I whined, utterly disappointed in him for taunting me so. “Seifer.”

“Tell me what you want,” he growled, eyes rolling back as I slid a hand into his pants and grabbed onto him. Slowly, I began to stroke him, watching his face as I did so.

“I want you to fuck me,” I whispered, delirious with desire. It was in my nature, so I’d learned to skip the foreplay and go straight to the good stuff. Irvine had complained about it, but I liked the mutual gratification of sex more than anything else. Other stuff was good, but this was better. Never before had I ever uttered the words I had just spoken to Seifer, though.

He obliged, grabbing onto my hips with both hands. Slowly, he guided himself into me, eyes rolling back with a delighted moan. Seifer bit his lip and I about died with need. To speed things up, I began to wriggle in his arms, forcing my body to thrust against his. Seifer got the hint and went to town, pounding me into the headboard as he gripped my waist. I tried to keep quiet, but my mouth had a mind of its own. I called out his name, I pleaded to Hyne, I said unintelligible things. None of it mattered, because it felt so good and so right. 

The act was shorter than I would have liked, but Seifer had gone a long time without getting any, so I let it go. Afterward, he lay beside me and breathed deeply. We both stared up at the ceiling. Smiling, I reached for his hand and squeezed.

“Sorry there wasn’t any first date or whatever,” Seifer muttered.

“Eh, first dates are overrated. I like knowing I’m dating a winner in bed,” I grinned wickedly at him. “I’m down for more whenever you’re ready, by the way.”

Needless to say, I ended up staying the night in Seifer’s room that night. Totally against the rules, but I didn't care. We didn't sleep, choosing activities more interesting than resting. Other than breaking in his bed, we talked. He told me things he could remember from the orphanage and I relayed what I recalled in return. We talked about Fujin and Raijin, about Squall and Rinoa. Seifer spoke to me about the hate he received daily and I told him how sorry I was for it. I told him about Irvine and when Seifer started getting angry about my friends-with-benefits arrangement with the cowboy hat loving gunslinger, I promised him that was finished here and now. I wasn't a cheater and would never be. Seifer calmed down a bit, but anytime Irvy was mentioned, his face darkened.

Multiple times, I mentioned that I should leave and let him go to bed. Seifer had community service and classes in the morning and the last thing I wanted was for him to get in trouble for not going. He refused each time, claiming to want my company for just a little longer. I obliged each time. 

When the sun started to come up, I finally yawned and fought back a case of the serious sleepies. I had nothing important going on until my class in the afternoon, but didn’t want to leave Seifer hanging. His alarm went off at 0730 hours, which made both of us groan. I started to get out of bed, yawning loudly, but Seifer stopped me.

“Get some sleep,” he said sharply, walking to the closet to find some clothes. I checked out the view for a few, long moments.

“I was gonna go take a cat nap or somethin’,” I replied, confused. Did he think I would stay here?

“You can stay,” Seifer confirmed my suspicions as he buttoned up his pants. “I can pop by and see you after my morning class.”

That made me smile. There was something super warm and fuzzy about someone wanting to see you. I nuzzled under his blankets, “Okay. Make sure I wake up when you get back.” I yawned again.

I was pretty sure Seifer said something to me before he left, but I was already off in dreamland. Dreamland was an interesting place filled with a copious amount of candy, an ungodly amount of ice cream, and Seifer half-dressed. I liked these sorts of dreams. 

When he returned, we didn't have much time to do anything dirty. I needed to get dressed for my class and he was swapping out books. We spent at least ten minutes furiously making out before I did the walk of shame back to my room. While no one was around when I left his room, there were definitely people in the halls. Some of them stared curiously and I hoped it was because I was a badass SeeD, but knew it was most likely due to my bed hair and that I didn't belong in this hall.

Squall found me a few feet away from my room, which made me stop in my tracks, hoping I appeared casual, “Mornin’ Squall. What brings you around these parts?”

“Looking for you, actually,” he crossed his arms, skimming over my outfit. His gaze lingered on my hair. Was Squall Leonheart judging me?!

My face was probably beet red. I shifted from foot to foot, “Oh? Hehehe, what for?”

“Wanted to give you the signed paperwork for the festival plans. I shoved them under your door,” he replied, still staring at my messy hair with a blank expression.

“Oh!” I beamed and bounced up and down. “Yay!!! That means everything's a go, right?” I had been waiting for Squall to okay the party plans, especially the booze area. That was the only part of it I had been concerned about getting his approval for.

“It is...”

“Booyaka!!!!” I shouted, doing a little victory jig. “Squally, you're the best!” I tackled him with a big, quick hug.

He returned the hug with much less enthusiasm and cleared his throat awkwardly, “So.... Where are you coming from?” Squall’s eyes were cast toward the floor and I could tell he didn’t really want the answer.

“Uhm... Y’know, just doing my thing?” I most certainly hoped that didn't sound fishy. I was pretty sure it sounded like guilt. Squall wasn’t stupid, unfortunately.

“There was a noise complaint for Seifer’s room last night,” Squall pressed on, still staring at the ground. This was clearly an uncomfortable topic for him. It was uncomfortable for me, too. “The room next door said there was a lot of banging against the wall and... some interesting noises.”

“Hahaha, wow that's weird. Gross! I mean, uhm. Wonder who he had over!” I babbled lamely. Ouch, Selphie, way to admit you let Seifer Almasy make sweet, passionate sex with you... way to freaking go! I wanted to slap myself.

Squall didn't reply, but his cheeks were a little pink. He moved to walk past me, but stopped and put a hand on my shoulder, “I don't like it, Selphie. But, it's whatever makes you happy, right? Just... be careful.”

My heart leapt into my throat, Squall was worried about me? At least a little bit, that much was obvious. I tackled him once more, planting a chaste kiss on the side of his temple, “I am always careful, Squally! But, I am happy. For now, anyway, heehee.” And that was the truth. Seifer made me pretty giddy, though I knew all about the honeymoon period of a relationship. It would be less exciting in a few months and time would only tell if we would last. My fingers were crossed.

My head was in the clouds the rest of the day. I was pretty sure my class thought I was nutso for trailing off and forgetting what I was doing so frequently. Immediately after my class let out, I had resigned myself to going over my lesson plan with a side of daydreaming. Irvine interrupted said plans for a chat and I had immediately launched into telling him about my new relationship. I didn’t like keeping secrets. Not my own secrets, anyway. Besides, this was important and my friends deserved to hear it from me. Irvine was less than impressed, even deigning to tell me I was bonkers for trusting someone like that. We argued back and forth about it until Irvine threw his hands up in defeat, kissed my cheek, and wished me luck in a way that sounded sarcastic. The whole encounter made me frown. Irvine was always quick to dismiss me like that, it was one of the few things I disliked about him.

The next few days were busy-busy with my regularly scheduled classes, festival work, pilot training, and some one-on-one meetings with my now nine students. The three newbies were young, excited, and pleased to be in my class. I met with them in turn first, trying to gauge their interest and potential. The first was a fourteen year old boy who transferred from Galbadia, as he had a much older sibling who taught gunmanship there. The student, Hiro Maruga, had felt too much pressure walking along the halls as his star pupil brother had. Hiro had requested a transfer and it had been approved. He was nervous, eager, and absolutely adorable. My next new student was another boy, age twelve, from Balamb Town. He was a distant relative of the Card Queen (or so he claimed), his mom ran a cat adoption clinic, and he had four younger sisters who were incredibly important to him. Norros Taylor reminded me a lot of Zell with his thick, spiky blonde hair and blue eyes. Norros was more serious than Zell and even at twelve, had a confidence and maturity about him that made him seem much older. My last new student was a spitfire of a girl from Fisherman's Horizon named Rowan Dobe. She was the granddaughter of the mayor I had met when we had been in FH ages ago. Rowan was thirteen and had more confidence than any other thirteen year old I had met. She was nice, but talked more than I did.

Squall had also approved another pilot for the Ragnarok. That meant Nida and I had work to do with one of our longtime SeeD companions, Ziggy Lovejoy. I didn't know him too well, but Nida did and had told me confidently that Ziggy was a great choice. We both knew that Balamb wanted more airships produced and they were due to us at an undisclosed date, though we hoped and were told it would be soon. Nida and I would need more than the two of us to fly them whenever they were finished. 

Having so much to do meant I only saw Seifer for lunches and our Garden Festival meetings. Our relationship was public, as I wasn't keen on keeping secrets like that. I wasn't ashamed of him. Seifer had been right about how people would treat me, but I didn't let it bother me. I hadn't told him, but it did make me a little sad when someone called me a murderer lover. It didn't help that Zell was pretty peeved at me. He had actually told me off, shouting at me in the garage. His tirade had lasted foooorever. Afterward, Zell had apologized for yelling at me, but meant what he said. Even before the mind control stuff, Seifer had been a cocky, narcissistic asshole (Zell’s words, not mine) and I was a fool for dating someone like that. Though he was mad, Zell promised we were still friends, but he wasn't happy with me and needed time to get used to the idea. Rinoa was ecstatic and Quistis was as well, though much less enthusiastic about it than Rinny. Quistis respected my choices, but did remind me I could do better than that. With a sad smile, Quistis remarked wistfully on wishing Irvine and I had worked out. I already knew what Squall and Irvine thought about Seifer and I and that hadn’t changed. As an optimist, I had to hope that my friends would come around. I mean, if things went really, really ultra well, they might be stuck with Seifer for forever! The thought made me feel suddenly warm. It was WAY too early for that sort of talk.


	7. Chapter Seven

As June crept closer and closer, I found myself insanely busy. The Leonhart-Heartilly wedding was coming up and Rinoa was becoming a full-blown bridezilla. Our trip to Esthar to get the fairy lights had been a disaster. The lights Rinoa had wanted were out of stock, despite her calling and confirming they had some the day before, and what they had left was pink. Rinoa hated pink. After crying hysterically in front of the shop, Quistis and I had barely managed to talk her into going with a different set up lights. They were bigger and didn't twinkle right, but they would still look awesome. Rinoa wasn't convinced, but bought them anyway. She had been sulking ever since, even though that was the only real hiccup. She suddenly regretted choosing the vanilla cake with raspberry frosting. The food choices were wrong, what if someone hated them or couldn't eat it? What if Laguna wanted to dance with her and got cramps? What if her dad flaked on her at the last minute? She had so many questions and problems, which made Quistis and I stress out too. 

On top of the wedding, the Garden Festival was being put together slowly. We had taken over the Quad to build our stage, the Drink Zone, the dance floor, the signs, and the entrance way. I dreamt about paint and drilling nails into wood. Training Ziggy Lovejoy on everything Ragnarok was just about done, but our request on more airships was to be delayed another whole year! Meaning, we had trained him too early. That was okay, but Ziggy was outwardly bummed out about not getting his own ship for at least another year. All of this chaos was amplified by the fact that I had to be battle ready at a moment's notice. The Timber Truests had launched a terrorist attack on Galbadia Garden itself. Two of their SeeD had been taken hostage. One had been found dead in a lake with the words FREEDOM etched into their forehead. Squall was having all SeeD train regularly in the Training Center, even coming to meet with groups of us to test our skill and weaknesses. He had asked me to work on my magic accuracy and efficiency, meaning I had to go around pre-junctioned with magic for days at a time once again. Hyne, how I hated that tingling feeling in my fingertips and neck.

Seifer was frustrated by how little he saw me. I didn't blame him, I was frustrated too. Multiple lunch dates had been canceled and sometimes, I'd go to his room to hang out in the evenings, only to fall asleep. The walk of shame was quickly becoming a norm for me. I had promised him a quiet weekend in Balamb for the upcoming wedding though, which Squall had reluctantly approved. Seifer and I would stay in Balamb for another two days just to relax. Squall and Rinoa were going on a two-week honeymoon in Winhill, followed by a week-long stay in Deling City, courtesy of Fury Caraway. Squall was already on edge about leaving Garden for so long, especially with the problems going on in Galbadian country. Quistis and Xu would have command of Garden while Squall was gone. I was crossing fingers that everything would be okay during their honeymoon; they both needed the break. 

The night before the wedding, Quistis finally told me that she and Nida were going to the wedding as a couple. My mouth had hit the floor and Quistis had laughed at my reaction. I would never, ever have guessed. Quistis had planned on letting Rinoa know, but with all of the bridezilla-ing, had chosen to not to tell her who it was. It would be a surprise! Assuming Rinoa even noticed; she would be so caught up in everything. 

Sleeping had not come easily for me that night. I was too excited and nervous, wondering if I'd stumble and die in the heels I would be wearing. I was also getting used to sleeping beside Seifer, which I was not doing tonight since I would be going to Balamb to get ready so early. Seifer was going to be driving down with Nida, which I was praying would be alright. Quistis and I had figured that our dates should arrive together. I was happy Nida had agreed. Zell and Irvine were groomsmen, but only because Squall had not chosen anyone as of three weeks ago and Rinoa had flipped out about it. Zell and Irvine were easy choices and both were down for the part. 

My alarm clock blared and I winced and whimpered, but forced myself out of bed. I had barely finished stretching when my phone rang.

“Morning, this is Selphie,” I grumbled sleepily, yawning quietly.

“Good, you're awake,” came the hard, choked up voice of Rinoa Heartilly. “I have a fucking zit on my chin. A zit! Of all the fucking days...”

My eyes grew wide and I instantly kicked into overdrive. Rinoa swearing like that was rarity and I could tell we were in the danger zone. She was going to lose her mind in a matter of seconds. I racked my brain, trying to find a way to quell the rage brewing within my friend.

“That's okay, makeup will cover it up! You can have photos taken of the other side of your face?!” I chewed my lip lamely and hoped these small suggestions would quell the fury building in my friend.

Her voice was still strained, I could hear the tears take over, “I'm going to be the ugliest fucking bride. Squall is going to leave me at the altar.” She was high-pitched by the end of it, breathing hard. 

“Oh no, Rinny,” I stifled a yawn and sat back down on my bed. “Don't talk like that! Everything is going to be super duper awesome! Squally LOVES you! Now, get your butt ready, Rinoa Heartilly! I will come to your room and drag you to Balamb if I have to.”

Rinoa sniffled a few times, “Fine. But only because I don't want to waste the money.” She hung up on me and I smiled, knowing that she would be just fine. We all expected a bit (okay maybe more than just a bit) of dramatics from her on this joyous day. In the end, no matter how much crying or screaming she did, Rinoa would marry Squall and it would be a happy, happy day!

My shower did nothing to wake me up, much to my chagrin. I needed coffee, stat, but I knew there would be some in Balamb. I did not have time to make a trip to the cafeteria. I hastily dressed in a pair of jeans and a navy blue tank top. I did nothing with my hair, nor put on any makeup, knowing all of that would be taken care of when we got to the city.

The three of us met up at the front gates where a limousine was waiting for us. I recalled Hot Limo Guy for a moment and prayed it was not him. It wasn't. Quistis was wearing sunglasses and didn't take them off when we got into the car. I expected she was trying to hide just how tired she looked. The car ride was comfortable, but filled with angry quips from the bride-to-be about how everything had better be set up and perfect when we arrived. After the eighth complaint, Quistis finally snapped at Rinoa to calm down. Rinoa sniffed disdainfully and remained sullen the rest of the car ride. I awkwardly tried to start a discussion about the weather, but neither one replied to me. 

Our hairdresser/make-up stylist was a flamboyant man with dark skin, hot pink nails, and lengthy dreadlocks. He was absolutely adorable and I loved him from the first moment we met. His name was Kiga and he was eager to make us look lovely. He had an assistant who I guessed was a trainee. She was very shy, but watched and attempted to mimic Kiga’s every move. Somehow, his charismatic nature was even able to coax a smile out of highly-stressed Rinoa. Kiga was also wonderful with hair and makeup, turning Rinny into something even more lovely than she already was. He had taken her long, dark hair and curled the ends before taking half of it and twirling it into a messy, yet elegant bun. Some of her layered hair broke free from the bun, which Kiga took and curled loosely, letting it frame her face. The bun was decorated with tiny, pearl strands. He tucked her veil in delicately and Quistis and I both gasped at the final product. She was so beautiful in her form-fitting, strapless gown with light, natural makeup on her face. You couldn't even see the zit on her chin. A few small silver bangles glittered on Rinoa’s left wrist, her ring necklace hung on her neck. I had to choke back happy tears, so that I didn't ruin the nice makeup I had on.

Quistis and I both ended up looking quite excellent too. I was breath taken at how elegant and mature Kiga and his assistant had made Quisty look. Her blonde hair was loosely braided, with tiny sapphires intertwined within. A small chunk of hair hung free on the right side of her face with the end of it curled. Kiga had chosen a pale pink lipstick for her and it looked incredible. While I didn't end up looking as flashy and exquisite as Rinny and Quisty, I was pleased with what Kiga had done to me. Fake eyelashes adorned my eyelids, as they did for the other girls as well. But, there was something interesting about the way the lashes framed my green eyes. The eyeliner was soft, but made my eyes look brighter than normal. A slightly more purpley-pink lipstick graced my lips. My hair was perfectly straight, with a sapphire encrusted hair clip tucked into the right side of my hair, pulling the strands away from my face on that side just enough to expose my teardrop earring. When all three of us crowded the mirror together, we couldn't help but share watery grins at the whole thing.

“It's almost time,” Quistis said, clutching at Rinoa’s wrists. “Are you ready for a lifetime of talking to a wall?”

We all laughed, but Rinoa nodded once, “I am. I love him.” Her eyes glinted with unshed tears as she said those words. Rinoa swallowed and took a deep breath, “Hyne, help me stay standing in these heels today.” 

“It will be fine!” I told her reassuringly. I knew it would be. This day was just too perfect. The sun was shining, but the breeze from the ocean kept it from being too hot. Everything, so far, seemed to be going alright. We looked awesome and I could bet the boys did too. I hoped Seifer had made it okay. I was pretty intrigued to see him in a suit. 

A woman entered the room, looking straight at Rinoa, “Miss? You have ten more minutes. Your father is outside. May I send him in?” Rinoa nodded, straightening up unnecessarily for the arrival of her father. There was something about being in the presence of Fury Caraway that made you want to stand up straight and tall and be on your best behavior. 

When General Caraway entered the room, his eyes widened and mouth dropped slightly. Rinoa had always told us how horrible her father was at showing emotion, especially towards her. She said he always put on the face of the General. But, right now, it was plain to see that he was simply a father with a daughter about to be married. He stood awkwardly a few paces away from her and stared. 

“You look much like your mother did at our wedding, though she went with a considerably frillier dress,” he spoke slowly, with a bit of hardness to it. “She would have loved to see this day. I hope she is looking down on us, smiling.”

“Oh, dad,” Rinoa whispered, letting a single tear slip down her cheeks. “ I know mom is watching. I always feel her presence looking over me.” Rinoa clasped her hands in front of herself in an effort not to start bawling. Caraway pulled his daughter into a firm hug, touching her delicately as to not ruin anything. I was impressed at Rinoa’s determination to not weep.

When it was showtime, Quistis and I were given two, beautiful bouquets made with white orchids and lilies, tied with pale blue bows. We met up with Zell and Irvine, who both looked dashing in white suits, icy blue ties and vests, and shiny white shoes. Zell’s hair was slicked back, almost in a Seifer-ish way. Irvine was hatless and his long locks held back with blue ribbon. Irvine held out his arm to me and Zell offered his to Quistis. We awaited our cue and began to walk down the aisle as a soft tune played.

My focus was on not falling or walking too slowly. Or too fast. Or to make a fool of myself. I saw a sea of people before us; staring, smiling, and crying. None of the faces stuck out. I was too focused on the moving forward, reaching the altar where Squall stood in an impeccable white tuxedo, with a vest and tie that matched Zell’s and Irvine’s. The only difference was that Squall had some flowers pinned onto his breast. 

When we reached the altar, Quistis and I turned left, while the boys went to the right. Zell took his place beside Squall and Irvine beside him. Quistis and I mimicked them on Rinoa's side. The audience all stood for Rinoa’s entrance. There were gasps, sobs, and so many tender smiles. I couldn’t stop staring at her; she was so beautiful in her wedding attire, but most of all, she looked so incredibly happy. I was jealous of the way her and Squall were staring at one another. Her eyes were only for him, and vice versa. It was as if there were no other people in the room. Never in the years that I had known him, had I ever seen Squall smile like that. My heart ached with happiness and I hoped that one day, someone would make me feel like that. As the bride approached her soon-to-be husband, I felt my eyes betray me, sending little rivulets of tears down my cheeks. Quistis was doing the same beside me, her lower lip trembling ever so slightly. 

“Dearly beloved... we are gathered here today...”

I full-on cried the moment the priest had announced they were officially Mr. and Mrs. Leonhart. I had to hastily wipe my eyes before photos were taken, hoping I didn't like a complete wreck in them. We posed in front of the altar and then the bridal party stepped aside while the bride and groom posed in an array of different ways. All of the guests were getting situated for the reception in the next room while we did the photos. The photographer was going to be around all night, snapping candids and what not, but these were the ones that Rinoa was looking forward to most. We posed and posed and posed, eventually being set free. The DJ Rinoa had hired was loud and clear, asking all of the guests if they were ready for the presentation of Mr. And Mrs. Leonhart. Of course, the crowd went wild and the doors opened to allow the newlyweds their entrance. Applause and cheers followed them to their table in the front of the room and continued to follow us as we were each introduced. We hurried to our tables to rest our aching feet.

Seifer was seated at the spot next to me, I was relieved and grateful Rinoa had made the call to assume Quistis and I would be bringing plus ones and made seating cards for the occasion. Nida was sitting at the spot labeled for Quistis’s plus one, as Seifer sat in mine. Nida had actually been invited to the wedding, unlike Seifer, but had chosen to sit with Quistis instead of out at one of the guest tables. There was no assignment for those. We were four to a table, Zell and Irvine sat on Squall’s side with their dates. I recognized the library girl with Zell, but had no idea who the busty redhead was with Irvy.

“Hi,” I greeted Seifer warmly, kissing him on the cheek before plopping into my seat. My eyes raked over his appearance with delight. He had gotten a real haircut finally! It looked just like it did ages ago; short and pushed back. He was wearing a deep gray suit, with a black tie. It suited him very well even if it wasn’t terribly colorful, and maybe my emotions and hormones were running high, but I had the urge to jump his bones right then and there. Instead, I smiled and put a hand on his chest to fix something that did not need to be fixed, telling him how nice he looked. I raked my hands over his collar unnecessarily, just wanting to touch him.

“You look stunning yourself,” he said in an undertone so only I could hear. 

I giggled and thanked him. The waiter came around, filling our glasses with champagne. Once everyone had full glasses, Rinoa’s father stood up to begin the toast. 

“First of all, I want to thank you all for attending the wedding of my daughter to this man,” he smiled politely and raised his glass. I noticed he was seated with President Loire, Kiros, and Ward. Laguna looks antsy, like he also wanted to do a speech. For Squall’s sake, I hoped he refrained. General Caraway continued, “Rinoa and I had a strenuous relationship, as most of you already know. The death of her mother, my late wife, was detrimental in shattering an already rocky relationship. We did not speak for some time, but thankfully, Rinoa decided to give me another chance to be a good father. No father is ever ready to let go of their daughters, but I knew Mr. Leonhart was the one for my Rinoa. There was something that sparked in her eyes when she looked at him, or spoke about him. And though I continued to think she was too young for all of this, I knew Squall was the one who would make her the happiest. In a way, their love for one another is what repaired ours and for that, I am eternally grateful and exceptionally proud to stand before you and proud to present my daughter as Mrs. Squall Leonhart.”

There was much clapping and hooting, but the room stilled when Rinoa stood to speak, “Thanks dad, and thank you everyone for being here with us on this perfect, perfect day. Squall and I are so happy to share this moment with you all. Our gracious hosts at the Balamb Hotel will be serving an excellent meal for us shortly and afterward, there will be dancing. We hope that you enjoy yourselves and thank you again for being here!”

As soon as Rinoa sat down and the applause faded, a handful of waiters appeared from a side door, wheeling out carts of food. It smelled excellent and I suddenly realized how ravenous I was. We had been up bright and early, none of us had eaten a thing. My mouth salivated as a small portion of peppered Balamb salmon was placed on my plate, along with a spoonful of rosemary roasted potatoes cut into small squares, a small helping of spinach salad with a vinaigrette dressing, and some white rice. Seifer was eating the same as me, as was Quistis, but Nida had grilled chicken instead of fish for his main course. 

Our conversation was not stilted at all at the table. Quistis was polite to Seifer in a courteous sort of way, but Nida seemed genuinely interested in talking to him. I was sort of surprised. Nida was so closed-off and serious all the time, it was great to see him laughing and talking so animatedly with us. Our glasses were never empty for long and I could feel the warmth of the champagne in my belly, along with the exquisite meal. Soon, the plates were taken away and the volume of the room rose as everyone chatted and laughed with one another.

I rested my head on Seifer’s shoulder as Nida told him the story of the first time I had taken Nida flying in the Ragnarok. Seifer guffawed loudly when Nida relayed the way I did a nosedive and made him think I would crash into Garden, only to make a save at the last minute. Nida admitted he had immediately gone and thrown up afterward. That part was new to me and I laughed so hard I had tears. I saw the photographer flash the camera at us and I hoped we all looked happy together.

When the lights dimmed and silence fell, Squall and Rinoa began their first dance to a soft, peaceful piano melody. Squall appeared somewhat agitated at the idea of dancing with everyone watching. He had a scowl on his face and his eyes watched his feet more than his wife, but it was beautiful and perfect. We all clapped excitedly when it ended. Rinoa smiled and approached Sir Laguna, asking him to dance with her. The President beamed and nodded, taking her hands before rubbing his shin that had cramped. Rinoa was patient, waiting for his pain to subside before they began to dance. Squall grudgingly asked Ellone, who smiled politely and stood up to dance with her half-brother. After that, Rinoa danced with her father and Squall danced with Matron. Other couples flooded the floor -- Zell and the library girl, Amelia, rushed out quickly and both badly danced to a faster tune. Quistis and Nida were elegant and classy, looking like trained dancers. Laguna and Ellone danced slowly and out-of-tune and chatted quietly with each other. I looked at Seifer out of the corner of my eye and was surprised to see him scowling with yet another empty glass in his hand.

“Hey!” I projected worriedly, putting a hand on his knee. “You okay?”

I received a one-shouldered shrug in reply. Seifer was still scowling and that was not a good thing for being in attendance at a wedding. I stood up, smoothing out my pretty dress and tugged on my boyfriend's arm, “C’mon. No, I'm not asking you to dance. Yet! Let’s go outside a moment, okay?” He reluctantly agreed and we wormed our way through the crowd to one of the Hotel's balcony entrances. Not many had come out here yet, as the dancing was still fresh and exciting. 

“What's up?” I asked, leaning against the railing and staring out at the water. The sun was setting, leaving the sky a mix of blue, gold, and pink and the view was breathtaking. 

“It's not important,” Seifer retorted bitterly, shaking his head. “Just wondering how it got like this. Leonhart has had everything easy for him. He has everything I wanted. I'm a fucking ex-convict. A nobody. Squall could have easily been in my shoes if things had gone differently. I don't belong here. Hell, Rin’s dad looked like he wanted to boot me out of there. President Loire was so suspicious of me, you would have thought I was carrying a bomb. Everyone's been looking at you with pity, Tilmitt. I'm not blind, I can see it everywhere we go; every single day. Leonhart is the hero and the winner, as usual, and I'm nothing.”

His words stung in more ways than one, but I tried to sound nonchalant, “So, do you wish you were marrying Rinoa then?” 

Seifer sighed irritably, “No! Don't go getting all jealous on me, Tilmitt. Fuck.”

“I already told you that I don't care what people think of us being together,” I said slowly, still staring out at the water. “I don't hate you. Rinny doesn't hate you, neither does Nida. Quisty doesn't either, I know it. Who else matters besides the people closest to you? It's okay to be jealous of Squall and Rinoa being happy. Heck, I am jealous! They are soooo sickeningly cute and happy and it makes me crave that. I want to be loved half as much as Squall loves Rinny! It's natural to want that sort of thing, I think.”

Seifer was silent for a few, long moments. His hands tightly gripped the balcony railing as he stared out at the view with me, “I just thought things would be different by now. I'm twenty-two, still not a SeeD, still nothing. I've killed people. I've betrayed people, lost my few friends, and ended up locked in prison for a while.... Squall did everything I wanted - he got SeeD, he got a wife, he is a hero, and everyone respects him. Even if I make it to SeeD, finish my community service.... I'm still always going to be seen as a bad guy.”

“You're not that old,” I retorted, sounding a bit snippy. “My parents didn't get married until they were in their thirties and they only adopted because of my mom’s reproductive problems. Had nothing to do with age. And, Seifer, you can't just make people respect you. You gotta work for it, earn it. There will always be people who dislike you for the rest of your life, oh well! Things will look up. People will get over it and all that bad stuff will be in the past. It’s already in the past. You can get through it, I know it. Screw whatever those big meanies inside think! I'm here with you because I want to be.”

“I had dreams,” Seifer muttered stubbornly. “Goals. Plans. All ruined...”

“So what?!” my voice was a little too loud, but I didn't think anyone could hear me, not with all of the music and festivities going on inside. I turned to face him with a glare on my face, “You make new dreams! You tweak them a bit to fit! My first big dream was to be in a band, but that didn't happen and that's okay! I have new dreams now - to make excellent Garden Festivals, be a great teacher, to help new SeeD and teach the world about LOVE AND PEACE! Eventually, I want to settle down and all that stuff, but for now, that’s what is on my mind TODAY! It'll change again in a couple of years, I'm sure of it.” I paused to take a breath and stepped forward to touch his arm, “Seifer, I like you. I think you're kind of a butthead, but you're my butthead! With a little positivity and willpower, we can make this world our bitch. I believe it, 100%!”

He made a face, but pulled me to his chest and mumbled gruffly, “I still think you are making a terrible decision.”

“I personally think I only ever make excellent decisions,” I replied with a smile, running my hands down his chest. “Seriously, Seifer, you look sooooo good in a suit, if we weren't in public right now...”

“Hmph,” he chuckled and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I would never have guessed you were a little hornball.”

“I just like men in suits,” I protested with a sly grin. “We have the whole weekend together y’know and I won't mind if we spent it locked away in our room.”

Seifer embraced me a little harder, “I wouldn't object to that either, Space Cadet.”

I smiled and pulled away to look up at him, meeting his blue-green eyes, “I know you wanted life to be different, Seify, but you can still make the most of it.” Reaching up, I touched the side of his face, stroking his cheekbone, “I'm not tired of you yet, mister, so I'll be there along the way. You'll get through all of this and soon enough, you'll be SeeD and have your freedom back... and if we are lucky, we'll work out too.” 

He took my hands in his, keeping them clasped between us. Seifer looked like he had more to say, but didn't know how to say it. Instead of speaking, he stared down at me for a long while before kissing me deeply.

We were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. We jumped apart and found Irvine and his date staring at us. The redhead was pretty in a glitzy, fashionable sort of way. Too much makeup, not enough dress, but I wasn't going to comment. Irvy was my friend and I respected him and his decisions.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Irvine said, sounding as if he were not sorry in the slightest. “Wanted to introduce you to my date, she and I were good friends at Galbadia. This is Melony. Mel, this is Selphie, one of my best friends and, uh, her companion, Seifer.” 

“Hi Mel!” I said cheerfully, ignoring the nasty look on her face as she eyed Seifer. 

“Nice to meet you,” Melony replied without interest, still giving Seifer a dirty look. I didn't like the sneer on her face. It royally ticked me off, but I was trying to play nice. This was Irvy’s friend... and we were at Rinoa’s wedding. Calm, I could be.

Irvine spoke up before I could, “I've known Seffie since we were wee babes at the orphanage.”

“Yuppers!” I chirped with pep, as much as I could muster. “Seifer was there with us too.” 

Melony’s focus finally changed from Seifer to me. I felt like she was sizing me up, taking in my tiny frame and childish face. My stomach lurched and my blood boiled. Ooh, I did NOT like this girl. A phony smile crossed Mel’s face, “Oh? I hadn't realized you guys were all the same age. I see.”

The way her eyes traced my form made me read between the lines. She thought I was a young girl and concluded it was no wonder Irvine and I split up. Mel thought she was more woman than I was and that sealed the deal for her. She had nothing to feel threatened over when it came to me. That seriously made me mad, but I kept my mouth shut tight. This hussy did not get to judge me, my boyfriend, or act like a brat. Irvy and I would be having a little chat later about this Melony person. Not a bad chat, but I would be questioning her motives and her sassy attitude.

Irvine draped his arm around the redhead’s waist and tried to fill the silence, “Beautiful wedding huh?”

“Yes,” both Mel and I replied together. She gave me a nasty glance and I ignored her. It really had been a beautiful wedding. Everything had gone perfectly.

“Say,” Irvine started slowly, scratching his cheek. “Uh, er, the two of ya make a good couple. Surprised n’ all, but glad to see you happy.” The last bit was directed at me.

“Thank you,” I replied, tightening my grip on Seifer’s hand. “Well, we were thinking about dancing and there's no time like the present, heehee!” I stomped off back into the reception, dragging Seifer in behind me. 

Rinoa cut us off, her cheeks pink and her eyes bright, “There you are, Selphie! I'm having the photographer take a shot of me and Squall, Quistis and Nida, and you and Seifer. All together. C’mon, c’mon.” Her voice was thick with elation and champagne. 

“Yeah, alright,” I replied, pulling again on Seifer’s hand and glancing up to make sure he was okay with it.

He gave a curt nod and leaned down to whisper in my ear, “For the record, you're better than that red headed bitch.”

My lips twitched, but I didn't reply. The photographer was arranging Squall and Rinoa to stand beside a display of beautiful white orchids. Rinoa stood in front of Squall, positively radiant with his arms around her middle. Quistis and Nida did the same pose, shifted slightly toward Rinoa and Squall to make up for the fact that they were the same height while Quistis was in heels. On the other side of the newlyweds were Seifer and I, shifted in the same manner that Quistis and Nida were. Seifer slid his hands onto my hips, gripping on a little tighter than I expected. I nearly frowned, but remembered we were taking a photo and smiled instead. I had a feeling the idea of being in all of these photos with me; with the others, was weighing on him. He didn’t think he belonged here, or with me. I leaned into him further, snuggling up between his arms in hopes to reassure him. 

After a couple of shots, the photographer said he got plenty of good ones and we all broke apart. Seifer and I were about to head off when Rinoa called our names. Quistis and Nida had wandered toward the bar, hands linked. Seifer and I both froze in place, staring at Squall and Rinoa.

“Thanks for being my bridesmaid and a wonderful friend,” Rinoa gushed, hugging me tightly. She then threw her arms around Seifer’s neck, “Thanks for helping me meet Squall, I know it was indirect and all, but thanks. Be good to my Selph! She's the bestest.”

Tipsy, high-on-life Rinoa was funny, but her words toward Seifer were almost mean. I wasn't sure if she realized that. Squall did though, wincing as she prattled on. He cleared his throat and put a hand on his wife's shoulder, reeling her back in. Squall then hugged me gently, “Thank you for being such a big help to Rinoa through all of the planning and preparing.... I know I'm no good at any of this.” Without hesitation, Squall offered Seifer his hand, “Thank you for attending the wedding, Seifer. You two seem happy.” The two men shook hands and Squall led his chatty wife off to their table to take a seat.

Quistis appeared at my side, exasperated but smiling and holding out a drink for me, “So, did you get a sappy thank you?”

“Sure did,” I took the glass and sipped it slowly. “Has she done nothing but drink?”

“I think she's just really happy,” Nida interjected in Rinoa’s defense. 

“And on her way to really drunk,” I quipped laughing.

Nida smiled sheepishly, “Well... I did get three hugs from her before she spotted you, Selphie. So, I guess you're right.”

“She better calm herself down soon or Squall will be disappointed tonight,” Quistis said smugly. She eyed the couple at the table. Rinoa was talking to Laguna and Kiros, who had stopped by their table. Squall seemed like he wanted his father to go away more than anything in the world. It made me a little sad. I would have loved to have met my real father. Not that my adopted dad wasn’t awesome. He was. I winced, remembering that I still needed to plan my visit still. Soon. I would go soon.

I opened my mouth to say something else, but Zell and Amelia whirled by us, calling out cheerful, drunken greetings before they zoomed off toward the open bar. I burst out laughing as Zell ran into Ward and fell back on his bum, “Wow. Why aren’t we filming this stuff?”

The four of us talked and sipped on our drinks, chatting about Zell and his antics and how much worse off Rinoa would be by the end of the night. We made empty bets on who would be the first to pass out (Zell), who would end up sick (Amelia) and who would end up shacking up with someone for a one-night-stand (Xu... she was flirting shamelessly with one of Rinoa’s childhood friends from Deling City). Seifer and Nida seemed to have a lot in common, they enjoyed similar childhood movies (something about a Soldier and a princess?) and disliked sappy music. I had to clamp my hand over Seifer’s mouth as he almost talked poorly of Julia Heartilly-Caraway’s music within the hearing range of both Laguna and General Caraway. He had completely forgotten the former songstress was Rinoa’s mother. 

It took some firm insisting on my end, but I did get Seifer to dance with me. He was pretty bad at it, stepping on my toes and grumbling the whole time, but it was nice. I lay my head on his chest, enjoying the fact that he was so much taller than me. I could lose myself in his arms, feeling completely and utterly protected. His hands were gently stroking my back, it was soothing and peaceful. My head was only a little fuzzy from all of the champagne. 

As the night went on and the guests began to dwindle, Seifer and I decided to make our exit as well. We spent twenty-minutes saying goodnight to Rinoa and Squall, who both endlessly thanked us for our support and love. Even Squall was a little tipsy, slurring a few words. It was adorable. Squall never drank, but I figured his wedding was the exception. When we finally extricate ourselves from Rinoa’s grasp, Seifer and I made our way to the elevator. Quistis and Nida called out goodbyes to us, they were still drinking and slow-dancing. We passed a couple of Rinoa’s old friends in the halls, waving at them. I caught a glimpse of Zone heading for the exit, which made me raise an eyebrow. I hadn’t even noticed him or Watts in attendance. 

After we picked up Seifer’s overnight bag from the front desk, we headed back toward the elevators. My room was on floor 6 and the elevator took it’s sweet time to get to us. I groaned and bent down to take my heels off, “I am done with these. My feet hurt, Seify.”

He chuckled and pat my back supportively, “We can relax soon enough. I’m really looking forward to spending time with you away from Garden.”

“Me too!” I said as the elevator doors opened. My fingers slammed the button for floor six and I leaned against the walls of the contraption. “Sneaking out of your room isn’t always the smartest thing for me to do.”

“No, but I prefer having you with me at night,” Seifer admitted, sounding a little self-conscious. “It’s... comforting. No nightmares.”

I hadn’t realized Seifer had been suffering from bad dreams, though I supposed I would never know if they didn’t happen around me. I whimpered in pity and pouted up at him, “Aww, Seify. I’m so sorry. I’m glad I helped relieve you of that.”

The elevator dinged, letting us know we had arrived at our floor. I reached into the front of my dress for the key and led the way to room 610. I fumbled with the keycard a few times, getting frustrated with the red light that kept appearing. Seifer took it from me and got it to open on the first try. I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue at him.

The bed is big and springy, with a soft comforter. I had barely had time to take in my room at the hotel before I had rushed back down to get my hair and makeup done. The room was spacious and there was a big bay window overlooking the pier. It was a pretty sweet deal and I was super stoked to be spending time here with Seifer.

He came up behind me as I was staring out the window, his hands running down my sides. Lips tickled my neck, making me shudder uncontrollably. His tongue traced circles on my neck as he pulled my hair out of the way. I let out a deep sigh, reaching up and behind me to touch his face. Seifer turned me around to face him, a strange look on his face. Before I could question him, he pulled me in for a kiss and his hands slid down to my butt. I giggled as he squeezed.

“Couldn’t even wait a few minutes,” I teased, stepping back to unzip my dress. I set the delicate article on a chair and put my hands on my hips. “I’m almost tempted to keep you in that suit. You just look so cute, Seify.”

“You can keep me in the suit, if you never wear clothes again,” his hungry voice growled as his hands assaulted my body. Seifer kissed my jawline, my neck, and my ears while his hands squeezed and wandered their way over my body. 

I couldn’t help but giggle again, “Okay, I need you outta those clothes, mister. I love that suit, but it’s gotta go.” I stepped back and slowly unhooked my strapless bra, letting it fall to the floor.

Seifer bit his lip and it sent a shiver of need through me. He began to undress and I hopped into the bed, resting my feet and enjoying the show. After Seifer took his sweet time to disrobe himself, he joined me in the bed. It was slower, more romantic than we normally performed in garden. My hands caressed his face, wound into his hair, and my nails raked down his chest. There was little noise; only grunts and moans from us both. The climax was intense for us both, my legs trembling in my pleasure. 

“Mmmm,” I said, snuggling into his side once Seifer had removed himself from atop me and flopped down next to me. “That was fun.”

“No shit,” Seifer replied, his chest heaving. “Fuck, Selphie, I never, in my life, thought I’d end up with you. I kind of have flashbacks from childhood, but I mostly remember being an ass to everyone. Even when I saw you again when you came to give us that message... when I dubbed you Messenger Girl, I just thought you looked the same and forgot about it. There’s more to you than just sunshine and rainbows. You’re the nicest person I have ever met and too good for me by far, but fuck, I don’t want to give you up. Too selfish.”

“I don’t think it makes you selfish for not wanting to give up what you enjoy!” I cooed into his ear. “I thought you were just kind of a big meanie, but I always thought you were pretty cute. Even when you were throwing fireballs at me. But, I’m glad you’re here with me.”

We fell asleep like that, sideways on the bed with me curled up into his side. It wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t pretty, but it was exactly what we both needed.


	8. Chapter Eight

Our weekend together was too short and it felt like it had only been a matter of minutes before we packed up and returned to Balamb Garden. Now that the wedding was over, it was time to kick it into overdrive for the Garden Festival. The event was to be held on July 9th, only about a week before my birthday. Part of me had really wanted to have a birthday party on top of the festival, but with everything going on, it didn't feel right. There was just too much to do! When I mentioned this to Seifer on the 7th of July as we were working on a few last minute things for the Festival, he glared at me and remarked that I had never mentioned my birthday was coming up.

I held up my paintbrush, dripping orange paint onto my old sweats and shrugged, “Oh there's been too much going on so I haven’t thought about my birthday much.”

“Yeah, but we should probably know each other's birthdays,” he said with a frown. There was yellow paint in his hair. It made me giggle. I couldn’t stop staring at the huge splotch.

“I know yours is sometime in December,” I replied and returned to painting the letters of my welcoming banner. “I saw it on the files Squall gave me when I went to get you from the Sorceress Memorial. Can't remember the day though, but I just figured you'd tell me when December started rolling around.”

“Like you told me?”

I stopped painting again and narrowed my eyes at him, trying to figure out what was going on. Why was he so mad over this? Seemed kind of silly to me. I set my brush down on the lid to the paint and got to my feet, “Seifer. It's not a big deal. You know now and you won't forget, right?”

“What am I supposed to do? I can't leave to go get you a gift or anything,” He flung the paintbrush back into the can and sulked with his arms crossed. 

“I don’t need a present,” I tugged on his arm to try to give him a hug, but Seifer evaded me. “You can just spend the day with me or something. I dunno. I really haven’t thought about it much.”

Seifer stared at me, then at the ground. He seemed to be deep in thought and I let him be for a moment. I hoped he was coming to his senses on this bizarro attitude about my birthday. The topic just hadn’t come up yet, I wasn’t hiding it from him or anything. If I hadn’t been so busy with the wedding and the Garden Festival, maybe I would have thought about it more and told him. I watched him, hoping to see him relax and come around, but he continued his angry gaze at the ground. Finally, I heard him say gruffly, “This relationship... is going nowhere.”

“Heeeey,” I protested, my heart pounding. I approached him again with my fists balled and my expression angry. “It's not perfect, but I'm happy! It's almost been four months and I like you more and more everyday. Sure, we can't go on dates or have getaway weekends right now, but we will be able to eventually! I'm not upset ‘bout it.” It nearly slipped that this relationship was almost as long as the amount of time Irvine and I spent together, but didn't. By this point in that relationship, I knew things were bad and had a limited shelf life. I felt good about Seifer though. He listened to me talk while he studied and worked on assignments. He liked to cuddle. Our sexlife was pretty excellent. He always put a smile on my face. When he got upset, I could almost always talk him down. This was just another moment between us that we needed to work through, but I really didn't like that he thought our relationship was pointless. I sure as heck didn’t think it was trivial one bit. Seifer Almasy had me in the palm of his hand, I just didn’t think he realized that yet.

“You should be,” Seifer’s voice rose a few octaves. We were out in the Quad, alone, painting by the light of bright lamps hanging all around us. There was a soft breeze that rustled by as we stood facing each other in silence. I hoped no disciplinary committee came to check us, though I had gotten approval for us to be out this late.

“Why?” I asked slowly, not understanding his point. Hadn’t I told him enough that I was happy? Not once, did I comment that I wished we could go out like ‘real couples’. Not once did I tell him I was bored. I knew we had things to look forward to if we made until Seifer made SeeD and his probationary terms were up. It felt like a challenge almost; one that I was ready to attempt. Or at least, I would take it day by day and see how it went. At this point, I really enjoyed how simple things were. Irvine and I had argued about where to go and what to do when we had free-time together. We had never wanted to do similar things. Right now, things were so easy between Seifer and I. We could hang out in one of our rooms, we could eat meals together, train together in the Training Center, sit out in the Quad and enjoy nature... Sure, they weren’t the most riveting of adventures, but they were enough for me. I didn’t think I was that high-maintenance.

Seifer threw his hands into the air in a fit of exasperation and began to pace around, “Because, Tilmitt! You're fucking an ex-con with nothing to his name and everyone keeps on saying I've brainwashed you and shit! Even Instructor Aki thinks I’ve done something to you. I'm sick of it! I don’t want the next bullet point under my list of bad deeds to be you.”

“I've told you a thousand times that I don't care!” I shouted, the words reverberating around us. “Screw what Aki thinks; he’s a miserable tool who has never liked me since I transferred here. I’m not just another item on your list, Seifer. Sheesh! Listen to yourself, you’re a broken record here! I’m not brainwashed, I’m not mind-controlled, I’m not anything but an adult who can speak for herself and make her own life decisions. Do you honestly think Squall didn’t get crap for Rinoa? He did! People didn’t, and still don’t, entirely trust her either. It’s fine. I don’t care what all of those a-holes think ‘bout us, I really don’t! I keep telling you this, I don’t understand why you aren’t getting it.”

Seifer stared incredulously, “You're an idiot then. Who willingly puts themselves in a place where they're stuck with someone who can't offer them anything? Why date someone who is confined to Garden? Who can't take you out for your fucking birthday? My name and reputation follow me and that will follow you too, the longer you’re with me. Why be with someone holding you back? That's stupidity, Tilmitt. Fucking stupidity.”

In my anger, I pointed a finger at him, marching up to him with fury on my face, “How dare you, Seifer Almasy! Don't you call me an idiot! I like you for you, what happened before doesn’t matter. I have forgiven you! Stop assuming I'm like everyone else. I'm not! This whole spiel about you being a bad guy is getting old, Seifer. How ‘bout we start focusing on the future? Why dwell on the past so much?! What's done is done and we can make it--”

“BECAUSE!” he shouted back at me. “Because that past is what alienates me from you and everyone else. And it's what makes everyone think you're too good for me. I'm the fuckin’ devil and--”

I let out a frustrated growl, interrupted his absurd rant. He was being absolutely infuriating. “Ugh! Shut your mouth, mister! Do you really think I'm so weak that I would stay in a relationship that I found hopeless? I don't need a boyfriend to make me happy. I wasn't eager to find someone else the second Irvy and I broke up. I made a conscious decision to be with you. What's so hard to understand about that?!”

“It makes no sense, Selphie,” Seifer spat vehemently. He turned his back on me.

“Who said love makes any sense?!” I shrieked. He was really getting me worked up. I hated fighting, I hated yelling and getting upset like this. Why couldn't he just see what I saw? Why couldn't he just accept that I cared about him? I stamped my foot as a few tears leaked out of the corners of my eyes, “People just click, Seifer! You can't control who you fall for sometimes. It’s not like I said ‘Welp! I’m screwed now, I have to like him.’ Hyne, Seifer! I don't want to have this discussion every other week. Anyone who has negativity to say ‘bout us being together is just jealous they don't have what we have! I don't care if they judge me for following my heart. I know the truth! You know the truth! My friends know too! Those people are all that matter to me.” A surge of panic welled up in my chest. I wasn’t going to let him leave me. No. This wasn't happening. My throat felt tight and my heart was hammering away at my ribcage. I was a little scared. Why wouldn’t he just let me hold him?

“It matters to me,” he started coolly, still turned away from me. “It matters an awful lot when your girlfriend is ridiculed because of you. It matters when you can't treat her the way she should be. It matters when at any moment, if I fuck up, I'm sent back to prison and will most likely be executed. Tell me, Tilmitt, would your parents be happy to know you're dating me; the one who helped destroy Trabia? Do they even know?”

My heart plummeted and my mouth went dry, “No, they don't know. But, I planned on telling them everything soon, I just haven’t called in a while. They trust me and--”

“They're going to be beyond pissed off,” he interrupted me again. “Mind control or not, your parents will always think you could have done better than a murdering, ex-prisoner. Who would want their daughter with someone like that?”

“You don't even know them!”

Seifer laughed; a cold, sharp one that sent a chill through my entire body. When he turned to face me again, I could see the anguish and torment on his face, “Listen, Selphie. This... this thing we have going on is fun. But, there's nothing at the end of the road. I haven’t anything but the few things in my dormitory right now. You're a sweet girl and a hero, and you deserve the world--”

“I don't want the world!” I cried, clenching my fists tight as I flailed them irritably. “I want you! Why can't you just accept that?!” 

“I won't be the one to drag you down to my level,” he said, voice shaking. “I fucking won't do it.”

“You're not though,” I whimpered. I took a step forward and pleaded. “Please don't push me away. Seifer, please. I don't want to break up yet. I'm not done with us.” Everything ached as I reached out to touch him, but he stepped away from my outstretched hands.

Seifer looked at me. His expression was blank as he stared for a few moments. Without saying another word, he walked out of the quad, leaving me sniffling to finish the banner by myself.

I skipped our lunch date the next day, deciding to find Quistis instead. Rinoa had just gotten back from her honeymoon and was in lala-land after an exquisite trip with her husband. Shattering her good mood right away wasn't necessarily what I wanted to do. I would let her stay on cloud nine a little longer. Besides, Quistis was usually a bit more down-to-earth than Rinoa and would give me honest answers and advice.

Quistis was in her office grading papers when I walked in. She took a look at the time, noticed the look on my face, and offered me a seat. I sat down across from her and let out a big sigh while she put all of her papers into a large manilla folder.

“What's wrong?” she asked, putting her big, fancy fountain pen into a drawer and leaning back in her chair. Quistis removed her reading glasses and rubbed her eyes. She looked as tired as I felt.

“Think I got dumped last night,” I uttered thickly, a wave of emotion crashed over me. After finishing the banner through some tears, I had gone to bed more angry than sad. I woke up peeved off as all heck, wanting to knock some sense into him. Somehow, saying it aloud to Quistis made my heart hurt again and my eyes betray me. I wiped a tear away with my knuckles.

“Oh, Selphie,” Quistis murmured sympathetically. She leaned forward, “What happened?”

I told her everything and explained h0w I had seen our relationship. The more I said, the worse it felt. By the end of my complete account of the night before, I was choked up. Quistis handed me a wad of tissues and I quickly pulled one of them and blew my nose. 

“It didn't hurt like this with Irvy,” I whined, wiping more tears off my cheeks with another tissue. “But, I knew there wasn't anything left for us. We both knew that we had reached the end of the line so it was okay. But this? I thought there was more. I think that's what hurts the most, Quisty.... thinking, no, knowing what could have been and it being taken away because a stubborn a-hole doesn't listen!”

“Leave it to Seifer to be dramatic,” Quistis said mournfully. She shook her head a couple of times. “You know I'm not Seifer’s biggest fan, but I was very aware of how happy you were with him. He was less... insufferable around you. It took me aback at first, but it really seemed to be working for you two. Do you want me to try and talk to him?”

“No,” I shook my head. Quistis was a great friend and I knew she would do just about anything if I asked it of her, but I didn’t need someone else getting involved in this mess. Seifer wouldn’t listen to her anyway. “It's okay, Quisty. Thanks. Ugh. The Garden Festival is tomorrow and I thought I'd be happier about it. I mean, I am happy about it happening. It's going to be great, but seeing all of the happy couples will make me sad.”

“Maybe he will come around by tomorrow?” Quistis offered and reached down for her garbage can. She held it out to me and I tossed the wet, snotty tissues into it. “Maybe you should try again to tell him how you feel? I had to be pretty blunt with Nida to let him know I was interested. Men can be a little... dense.”

“I’unno,” I shrugged, feeling completely defeated. I felt like I had been stomped on by a Ruby Dragon. That had nearly happened to me once, but Irvy had managed to get a good shot between its eyes before it got to my knocked out form. I could only imagine it felt a lot like this, but with more broken bones involved instead of a broken heart. “I didn't think it would be so sad. Why's it gotta hurt like this, Quisty? I hate this.”

“I never, ever would have thought you would fall in love with Seifer Almasy, of all people,” Quistis replied, a slight smile on her face. “I know you're sad right now, Selphie, but I am here for you as your confidante and distraction. Just let me know what you need.”

I laughed darkly and shook my head, “Thanks, but I don't love him, just like him. A whole lot.”

Quistis shrugged, “On the way to it, then. The way you guys were looking at each other at Rinoa’s wedding reminded me of how Squall and Rinoa looked at each other when things were blossoming. You may not know it just yet, but outsiders can see it. Even Zell knew there was something special about you two and we both know how clueless he is.”

“Really?” I asked, wincing at how hopeful and desperate I sounded. 

Quistis nodded, “Really.”

Before we could say anything else to one another, Rinoa burst in with a large yellow envelope in her hands. She was beaming, practically dancing on the spot. Her face was a little sunburnt, but she looked so happy. She giggled and waved the envelope at us, “They're here! The photos! I have copies for you guys, they're so, so, so perfect!”

Quistis looked horrified for a moment, before standing up and shaking her head, “Rin? No. This might not be a good time. Selphie and Seifer are having.... an argument right now.”

I opened my mouth to tell her we were not just having an argument, but Rinoa interrupted, “Aww, Selphie! I'm sorry. I guess I can come back later.” The dark-haired girl started to back away slowly, looking crestfallen.

“Nooooo, it's okay! I want to see!” I put on my brightest smile and pulled another chair to Quistis’s desk. Quisty gave me a look to make sure I was truly okay with this and I nodded once at her. She sat back down at her desk.

Rinoa excitedly took the open seat and began showing us pictures from the wedding. There was her and Squall seeing each other for the first time at the altar, their eyes alight with desire and wonder. Another of all of us staring at them share their first kiss as man and wife. Several wonderful shots of Squall, Zell, and Irvine posing at the altar. They all looked so sharp and handsome, Squall was even smiling! Then, there were photos of us girls and we all squealed and how different and mature we all looked. Quistis and I both exclaimed compliments at how beautiful a bride Rinoa was. The newlywed couldn’t stop grinning as we shrieked in delight at the pictures. The candids came next. There were shots of Sir Laguna and General Caraway talking over supper, Cid whispering something into a smirking Edea’s ear, Ellone and Squall with clasped hands. A beautiful picture of the bride and groom at their table, looking happy. My heart sunk as the next picture that came up was of our bridesmaid’s table, with my head resting on Seifer’s shoulder while Nida and he both laughed. Quistis looked radiant and bemused, glancing at Nida out of the corner of her eye. The next one was of just Seifer and I, still at the table and staring sweetly at one another. It made my eyes burn. Then came more of other guests, people dancing, Rinoa and her father, one of her with Laguna. Another picture of Seifer and I popped up and took my breath away. It was us on the balcony, our hands linked as we stared at each other. Seifer’s head was inclined slightly, as if he were about to kiss me. You could only see the back of my head, but Seifer’s expression was soft and there was a strange, unrecognizable look in his eyes. 

“This one is one of my favorites,” Rinoa said quietly, putting a hand on my arm. “He adores you, Selphie. He never looked at me like that, never. I'm sorry things are rocky, but I think you should take a copy anyway. The way he's looking at you there... It speaks volumes. I wouldn't be surprised if he was completely and madly, head-over-heels in love with you.”

“I don't think so,” I stared at the photo somberly. His expression in the picture was fierce and filled with desire. But... it was too late, wasn't it?

Rinoa flipped through more. We laughed at Zell and Amelia caught mid-dance with their hands in the air and both making funny faces. There was Squall dancing with a horrified expression on his face. Laguna laughing at something. Ward and Kiros looked bemused together in a corner with their arms crossed. Other guests dancing, eating, and enjoying the night. Rinoa with her cheeks pink. Irvine grinning while holding two glasses of champagne. Laguna and Matron dancing. Laguna and Squall talking together... And then came the pictures we took of us and our dates. It made me sad again, looking at how cozy we were. Surprisingly, I had to agree that Seifer and I had looked sharp together with our bright eyes and smiling faces. Hyne, did he look delightful in a suit...

Rinoa gave us copies of most of the photos, insistent that I take even the ones of Seifer and I alone. She was too hung up on her own perfect love life to listen to me when I said it was over. According to Rinoa, if he didn’t say so explicitly, then there was still a chance. No amount of optimism could have convinced me of that at the moment. I ended up going back to my room after my class finished and cried until I fell into a nap.

I was nervous for the Garden Festival. Everything was set up and ready, and it looked amazing! Squall had let me hire bouncers to check I.D. at the entrance to the Drink Zone and they were not only hotties, but also did their job well. Multiple underage cadets were turned away, one was even carried off by the biggest bouncer for trying to climb up the side of the raised platform. We had a local band playing music and they were actually pretty good. I’d been a little worried. They played a variety of different dance music and really pumped up the crowd. There were tiki torches lighting up everything and keeping us warm. Everyone was wearing leis and different summer-time wear. I was pleased it was going well, but as I sat on a cushioned bench squeezed beside Nida, I felt like a fifth wheel. Nida and Quistis were being snuggly and cute and Squall was monitoring how much alcohol Rinoa drank. Thank Hyne no one was keeping an eye on me, I was on my fourth and getting more depressed by the minute.

“Seeeelphiiiieee,” Rinoa sang my name very off-key. She leaned forward, a naughty grin on her face. “Chin up! This party is slammin’! And, ‘sides, you might get a surprise.”

“What?” I asked flatly, downing the rest of my Pina Colada. I shook my head and got up, waving Rinoa off from following me as I traipsed back to the bar to ask for a shot of tequila. It was time to get seriously drunk. 

“Hey,” the worried voice of Squall Leonhart sounded from my right. I stopped as he grabbed my wrist. He looked uncomfortable about whatever conversation we were about to have, “....you okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, trying to force as much emotion as I could into it. Unfortunately, the end result sounded like a croaking frog. Gross.

“...Maybe you shouldn't drink anymore.

“Whatever, you're not my dad!” I don't know why I snapped at him like that. I suddenly really, really missed my daddy and it made me want to start bawling. I turned my back on Squall so he would not catch the look of sorrow on my face.

“Listen. I'm sending you to Trabia for the first two weeks of August,” Squall said firmly, putting a hand around my shoulder. “Vacation. Paid.”

“What?” I asked, my mouth dropped and I cocked my head to look at him. “But what about my class? And--”

“I can take care of everything in your absence,” Squall reassured me. He actually smiled at me! “You need a break. Rinoa said... you and Seifer are having a rough time of things. I know you've wanted to go home for a while, but haven't asked. I arranged it for you and all of your trip details are in my office, signed and ready.”

“I-- Squall!” I said tearfully and shoved my head into his chest. I wrapped my arms around his middle and cried into his shirt. “Thank you, thank you, thank you...”

“Consider it a birthday present from Rinoa and I,” he said weakly, trying to pry me off of him. “There's one more thing.”

“Hmm?” I pulled away and wiped my eyes.

“I... cleared for Seifer to go with you, if you want him to. He doesn't know yet and won't unless you choose to tell him. Rinoa says... you two are just being difficult and might need this time to work things out,” He shrugged as if he didn’t quite understand what his wife had told him. 

I shook my head fervently, “Squall, no, it's--”

“I don't care what it is,” Squall admitted, glancing over to check on his wife who was being noisy about something. “Look, who you date isn't my business. If you're happy, you're happy. I saw the wedding photos too... and I could see how you two fit together, I guess. But, whatever, just... do what's right and be happy. Let me know what you decide for the trip.” Squall stalked off, leaving me flabbergasted. 

I did decide to have my shot of tequila, added it to my tab, wincing at the burn of it in my throat. The cute bartender we hired from Dollet flirted with me, but I couldn't bring myself to reciprocate. I ended up asking for a strawberry daiquiri and watched one of the band members do the second raffle drawing. The raffle idea had gone over very well. We were making bank off of it so far, as well as food and drink sales. Li Hoyer, my former student and now SeeD comrade won the prize; a pair of tickets to a movie in Deling City. I laughed at all of the brightly colored leis around his neck and the grass skirt over his jeans as he ran on stage to accept the prize. There were still a few more raffles to go, we had been lucky to get some cool prize donations from around the world. 

At first, I began to wander back to my friends, but seeing them smile happily and laugh with their significant others made me sad. Instead I sulked, sucked on my drink and stared down at the dance floor. I must have been watching for a while, my thoughts wandering all over the place. It took me a while to realize someone was saying my name. Blinking, I zeroed in on the handsome, somber face of Seifer Almasy. I wanted to kiss him, but instead I scowled and jumped away from him as if his mere presence burned me, “Go away.”

“No,” he retorted, eyes narrowed at me. His hand touched the small of my back. It felt electric through my floral-pink sundress and I wanted to just melt into his arms. “Can we talk?”

“I'm busy,” I sneered and sucked a huge amount of daiquiri through my straw. “Busy drinking my broken heart away.” Super dramatic, but I was in that mood. I started to walk back to Rinoa, Squall, Quistis, and Nida.

“Please, Tilmitt,” Seifer caught my elbow before I could get too far. He leaned into me and whispered in my ear, using the deep, lusty voice that I liked so much. “I have to talk to you.”

“Did Rinoa send you?!” I snapped, yanking my elbow out of his grip. The more he touched me, the more I wanted to throw my daiquiri aside and kiss him. Seifer sighed, clearly frustrated with how resistant I was being. I took a good look at him, noticing the dark jeans and dark button-up shirt he had on. Very handsome, but I kept my mouth shut. There was pain in his eyes. Good.

“She talked to me this morning, but that's not why I came,” Seifer sounded defeated. He leaned against the wooden rail and looked out at the dancing crowd. 

“Then why are you here?” Boy, I sounded certifiably bitchy. The venom in my voice was strong. “Shoo, I’m busy damaging my liver.”

“Selphie...”

“Seifer?” I replied nastily. “Look, don’t make this any worse for me, okay?”

“I’m sorry.”

My ears perked up at this. An apology? I cocked my head slightly, chewing on my straw, “Huh?”

“You're going to make me grovel, aren't you?” He growled. “Look, I didn't mean to hurt you. It’s just... I've never felt this way about anyone before. I panicked. I'm no good at this shit. I don't know how to make you want to stay, to make you love me... Rin told me off this morning; told me I was blind and dumb for pushing you away. I just keep thinking about how little I have to offer you.” Seifer shoved his hands into his pockets, frowning at the ground.

A thousand different replies rattled around in my head. I could further my dramatics or be mean in my reply, maybe make him beg for my forgiveness. Or I could just jump him and shower him with kisses before dragging him away to my room. He stood there as I pondered all of my options silently. I continued to chew on my straw. A hundred more witty remarks came to mind, but what managed to come out of my mouth surprised me, “Come to Trabia with me.”

“Wait, what?” Seifer asked blankly, mouth dropping. “You want to elope or something? Shit, Selphie--”

“No,” I cut him off, polishing off my drink and setting it down on a nearby booth before leaning against the railings. “I have vacation time approved. Come with me, Squall already okayed it. Meet my parents. Meet a friend of mine. See what my home looks like now,” I took his hand and smiled drunkenly, “Hey! What if I had said we should elope?”

“I would have asked how much you've had to drink.”

“Not enough,” my eyes misted over and I considered another shot of tequila. “Seifer, I... I really care about you. You don't have to do a--hic--thing. Sorry about that--hic--I’m really not that drunk, but, you don't have to do anything different to keep me. I'm yours already. You offering me comfort, care, and cuddles is enough! Hic. Ugh. I seeeriously swear I'm not that drunk.”

“Selphie...”

“You need to stop pushing me away because you’re insecure about stuff. One of these days, I might just say okay and walk away forever. It messes me up inside--hic-- and it hurts. You're --hic--important to me. When I was dating Irvy, I knew it was over weeks before it ended and so did he. It didn't hurt at all, hic. But, with you, I’m hurting. You’re hurting. That tells me we have more time left. I've fallen hard for you, Seifer Almasy, hic.”

“Likewise, Tilmitt,” he took my chin in one of his hands and kissed me softly. “I would like to go to Trabia with you. Is, uh, your dad going to murder me?”

“Nah!” I shook my head, thinking I would call to warn them soon. The idea of Seifer meeting my parents stirred up some boozy butterflies in my tummy. I had never gotten around to bringing Irvy to meet them. The whole idea of it was new and crazy to me. My skin felt like it was on fire. I mostly blamed Seifer but also the tequila. The daiquiri and multiple Pina Coladas certainly weren’t helping. “So, you really wouldn't have been down to elope with me?” I teased, giving him my best pout.

Seifer hesitated a moment, then reached out to cup my cheek, “Honestly? I'm just crazy enough to say fuck it, why not?”

I laughed loudly, hiccuping in the middle. The thought made me giddy, so I launched myself into his arms. I jumped up, making Seifer grab onto my legs to support me. I giggled furiously and brought my lips to his ears, “Noooo, not yet! It has to be romantic when you ask me, you silly butthead.” 

Seifer was quiet for a moment and then squeezed me tight before letting me down. He bent down enough that we were at eye-level before pecking me on the head and saying uncomfortably, “I am completely and utterly crazy about you, you know that?”

Smiling shyly, I placed my hands behind my back and rocked on my heels, “I am crazy ‘bout you too, ya big dope.”

We spent the night talking about the things going on in our heads. Seifer didn't know how to handle strong feelings and really hated the fact that he was in the spot he was in. We talked of regrets, we spoke of dreams and of wants, and how scared Seifer should be of Trabia. I told him about my parents and how great they were. I mentioned Auri and how I still hadn’t heard from her, hoping that maybe I could see her in person. Seifer told me how Rinoa had shouted at him that morning. Many people came up to me to congratulate me on the success of the Garden Festival, but I couldn't tell you who. My eyes were on Seifer and he had captured my heart fully and completely.

“Hi daddy!” I crooned into the phone a few days later. I was pacing back and forth in my dormitory, worrying myself sick at what my parents would think of Seifer and I together. They didn't know him personally, of course, but I was absolutely positive they would recognize his name. Ugh. I wanted to throw up. Why hadn’t anyone warned me that doing this sort of stuff was difficult?!

“Selphie!” he replied excitedly, his tone darkened quickly though. “We haven't heard from you in a long time, young lady. We miss you.” I could hear him getting my mother's attention and some rustling. I knew they were trying out speakerphone. It made me smile.

“Mama?” I called out, testing out my theory.

“Darling!” my adoptive mother cooed loudly. I winced at her volume. “Happy early Birthday! We have missed you so much! You really need to call us more!”

“I know, I know, I'm sorry,” I apologized, biting my lip. I really did feel bad about it. “I'm coming to visit on August 2nd.”

My mom excitedly shrieked and my dad excitedly laughed. I held the phone away from my ear for a minute while waiting for them to let out all of their noise. I put it back when I heard my father start to talk again, “That's the best news I have heard all week! You will love our new place, heck, you will love what they've done with the new city. It's beautiful.”

“And Garden’s almost done too!” My mom piped in. “We set you up a room when we first moved into our new house. No personal touches or anything, but you'll like it. Oh, sweetie, we have a real fireplace now!”

“Oh, wowwie!” I said excitedly. In all of my years in Trabia, I had wished for a fireplace instead of central heating. Having a fireplace was a silly, childish desire of mine, but as a kid I had liked the idea of falling asleep in front of the fireplace with a book. “I'm soooo excited! The Headmaster, my friend Squally, gave me two whole weeks off for vacation. I'm really excited! I missed you both a lot.” I sucked in a deep breath to give me courage to say what else I needed to say.

“Well, we are so glad you are coming, Selphie,,” my father said happily. I could practically hear him smiling through the phone. It made me grin. “Do you need to be picked up from the train station? Or are you flying your ship? You know, I tell my coworkers all the time that my daughter is a pilot!”

“It isn't my ship daddy,” I laughed. “It's Balambs, but yeah, we’re taking the train from Balamb to Esthar, then transferring to the new line from there. We’ll need to be picked up!” I realized what I was saying, but it was too late. Dammit, Selphie! 

“We?” my mother asked sharply. “Who’s this we?”

My face reddened and I chuckled weakly, “Yeah, about that... was going to tell you guys that part before I accidentally said we... Uhm, hehehehe. Heehee.”

“It's a boyfriend,” my father said dejectedly. “Oh Hyne, I knew this day was coming.”

“Be quiet, Lan!” my mother quipped. “Selphie? Is it really a boy?”

I sighed and sat down on my bed to deal with this part of the conversation, “Uhm. Yeah, it is.” I waited for my mother's excited cries to subside. “Is it okay if he comes with me? I’d really like for you both to meet him.”

“Of course he can, darling!”

“If he must.”

“Lan, please! Aren’t you excited to meet your daughter’s boyfriend?”

“She's too young, Maria!”

“She's almost 22!”

“Guys!” I interrupted with a wry smile. This was soooo painful! “You better not embarrass me in front of him!”

“We promise that we won't do that to you, darling! So, tell me about this booooy!” my mother was so giddy, it was almost cute. I could picture her bouncing around the house in anticipation for this meeting. It made me want to crawl under my bed and die.

I swallowed hard, “He is someone that was at the orphanage with me all those years ago. Uhm, I like him a lot.... We've been dating since about March-ish and--”

“You didn't tell us right away?!”

“I've been super duper busy, mama, I'm sorry. And, I didn't know if it was serious or not. And, I, uh, think it is.”

My mom squealed in delight, but my father sighed, “Serious, already? It's only been four months, Selphie. Are you sure you’re not just over-exaggerating?”

“No. I know it hasn’t been super long daddy, but... Trust me,” I said weakly. I clutched the phone tight to my ear, “I think I might be falling in love with him.”

There was a moment of stunned silence before my father cleared his throat, “Selphie, isn't it a bit too early to say things like that? Are you sure? Now, I must absolutely meet the man who has stolen my baby girl’s heart.”

“I dunno, daddy, I just... I get all warm and fuzzy inside around him. He makes me really happy and I feel like I’m walking on sunshine everyday. It feels... perfect, even though I know it’s not. I feel like we just fit,” I gushed. I hated how sappy and childish it sounded. It was hard to explain what I felt for Seifer, but I knew for sure that he was incredibly special to me. There was something that just clicked. Maybe our combination of bitter and sweet was the right medium. 

“Wow, sweetie, that does sound serious,” my mom said happily. “What's his name?”

I was met with another bout of silence once I told them and quickly hurried to explain that he wasn't all bad, nor mind-controlled by Sorceresses anymore. My dad was less than thrilled, but promised to give him a fair chance. My mom was quiet, thoughtful. I could hear her hmming on the other end of the phone. I told them everything I could in his defense; how he had been released from jail (my dad got a little angry at this part) and was at Garden under house arrest, but was doing community service and SeeD training again. I told them how sweet he was to me, how Seifer had said he was crazy about me at the Garden Festival. They weren’t thrilled my boyfriend was an ex-convict, but I could tell they were curious what I saw in him. In the end, my parents both agreed to let him and I stay in their house (separate rooms, of course) and would try not to judge him on past indiscretions. That was about as good as I could hope for.

My birthday fell on a Saturday and while I hadn't had anything planned, Seifer came to surprise me after he finished washing dishes in the cafeteria that morning. I had stayed in bed, deciding that since it was my birthday, I could be as lazy as I wanted. He greeted me with a cup of coffee he had convinced Olga to let him take to me and a warm chocolate donut. 

As I ate slowly and sipped my coffee, slowly waking up, Seifer handed me a small package. “Whaaaa?” I asked curiously, turning it in my hands slowly. The wrapping job done on it was pretty atrocious, but I didn't comment on it. Seifer seemed a little edgy today. “You didn't have to get me anything. I know you need the tuition money.”

“It's fine,” he told me curtly, not meeting my eyes as I started to open it. “It's small.”

The package held a necklace that looked almost identical to Seifer’s. I even had to check and make sure he was still wearing his. I flipped it over in my hands. There was no inscription or anything. It was just a replica of his necklace and the fact that he gave me one made me smile wide, “It's just like yours!”

Seifer nodded once slowly, “Rin told me Chickenwuss helped her make a replica of Squall’s Griever ring once. Thought it would work for us too. I called a place in Balamb and Leonhart took me off grounds to get it done for you.” He paused and looked uncomfortable for a minute. His hands flitted up to his own necklace, fingering the metal, “The one I'm wearing... is the only thing left of my birth family. Cid said the Almasy’s were gunned down in the Trabian country after escaping some bad stuff happening with the Esthar regime sometime after I was born. Some Shumi found me among the bodies of my dead parents and had me brought to the orphanage. If they hadn’t found me so quickly, I’d never have lived. It was snowing and... yeah, I was just a kid, maybe two years old. I was the first kid at the Kramer Orphanage until Squall and Ellone showed up. Cid gave me the necklace back and told me this when I was going to head to Balamb as a cadet, when I was twelve. Mine’s got my family name inscribed on the inside, that’s how I know who I am.”

I took in the sad story and briefly wondered what Cid and Edea might know about my birth parents. I had never asked them, though my curiosity about them never lasted long. I had adopted parents that I loved more than anything. Still though... I was curious. Saving that idea for another day, I immediately fastened my new necklace around my neck, “Thank you, Seifer! This has an important meaning to you, so I'm flattered that you think highly enough of me to give me a replica of a family heirloom.”

“.... I always dreamt I'd give an important girl one,” he glanced over to see the necklace around my neck and his lips twitched upward at it. “Sort of... a big deal to me. Heh. So, happy birthday.”

“I am honored!” I replied genuinely, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “It's almost like I’m part of the family now, teehee!” I froze at my words, my face igniting with embarrassment. “OH HYNE! I didn’t mean it like that! OH HECK! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry--”

Seifer clamped a hand over my still shrieking mouth, “Calm down, Selphie. You'll scare the whole wing.”

“Sorry! I really didn’t mean anything by what I said,” I squealed in a much softer voice once he let go of my face.

“It's fine. Shows my intent, or something,” he said in a strange tone, eyes narrowed at the wall.

“To make my face redder than a tomato?!” I piped up with a grin, still flushing. 

“No,” he stared at me, eyes hard and bright, and penetrating straight through me. It was a little intense. “That I... plan to be with you for a long time.” Seifer opened his mouth to say more, but closed it instead.

Seifer couldn't stop me from squealing excitedly or from me tackling him with kisses. That ended up with us making out passionately, followed by him making love to me while I wore nothing but the replica necklace. I think it really turned him on.


	9. Chapter Nine

I was a nervous wreck as we got on the train on the Esthar continent that would take us north, the last stretch to Trabia. My dad would be picking us up at the new train station a few miles away from the Trabian city. I wanted everything to go perfectly. I wanted my parents to love Seifer. My anxiety seemed to be annoying Seifer as I paced around the SeeD car I had gotten us into. In my restlessness, I kept cracking my knuckles, sighing, and fiddling with the necklace Seifer had given me for my birthday. Eventually, Seifer stood up and intercepted me from making another round.

“Calm down,” he said sternly, taking my hands in his. “You can’t get all nervous on me now, not after you told me everything would be fine.”

“Everything will be fine!” I replied shrilly. “I just want you to like them and them to like you and for everything to be super duper perfect. Oh, and for people at Trabia Garden to not hate me with a fiery passion.”

“You weren’t this stressed out yesterday,” Seifer commented, sounding a little exasperated. I could tell he was a little tense about the situation as well.

I bit my lip, “I know. It just sort of all struck me suddenly. Never brought anyone home to meet my parents before. I haven’t visited Trabia in ages. I feel... like a jerk, you know?”

“I do know,” Seifer exhaled deeply. “Trust me, I know. I feel like the biggest ass on the planet for defiling you and then having to face your parents. I keep thinking your dad’s going to take one look at me and know I’ve slept with you and... and castrate me or something.”

My laugh was unsteady, “No, he wouldn’t do that. My dad’s really nice. My mom can be kinda scary sometimes, but it takes a lot to get her really mad.”

“Well, whatever,” he replied, disbelieving me. “Come sit down. All your pacing is making me go berserk. How long before we reach Trabia?”

“Liiiiike, five hours?” I replied with a sigh. I sat down beside him, frowning. If only Squall would have let me take the Ragnarok... but, as it was a military asset, it couldn’t always be used for personal endeavors like this or our girls trip. I loved trains, but I was getting too antsy. I wanted to be there already and see how everything would play it. My hands fiddled with my new necklace.

“Maybe we should take a nap?” Seifer eyed the small cot in the SeeD compartment of the train. “I know you didn’t sleep well last night. It would pass the time away.”

I shook my head, “I don’t think I could sleep even if I tried.”

“Let's at least lay down then,” he suggested, tugging my hands away from my neck. “We can talk or something, play one of those dumb games you keep suggestion. Anything to keep you from pacing around like a crazy person.”

“Heyyy,” I quipped, smiling at him. “Fine, alright.”

Seifer’s suggestion wasn’t a bad one. We curled up together on the small bed, both laying on our sides to fit. His arm wrapped around my middle, his chin on my head. I felt so small in his arms. The train was moving quickly, rocking back and forth, occasionally jarring as it went over a bump or took a sharp turn. It wasn’t an easy environment to sleep in, but occasionally, my eyes would drift shut only to sharply open. Seifer and I would talk about random things, like the view or what we could do in Trabia for two weeks, and then drift into silence as our eyes drooped. 

It was interesting to watch the climate change from the window as we inched closer to the Trabian continent. Trabia was snowy and chilly year round, though the snow would be much less around this time of the year, mostly lingering on the mountains and places of high elevation. I could see mountains and pine trees ahead of us and my heart fluttered. This was home. I loved Balamb, but there would always be a soft spot for Trabia in my heart. After I had been adopted by the Tilmitts at the age of six, I had lived here until I was seventeen. I had felt loved here, made friends, went on adventures. This was where my daddy had taught me to ride a bike, where I had first decided to go to military school. Trabia was where I made my first best friend, Auri, who now didn't talk to me. It was where I had dreamt of being in a rock band and practiced guitar in my friend’s parents garage. I had dozens of memories, many of them has resurfaced after the mind cleansing potions had become a thing. Hyne, did they taste terrible, but there were so many memories I had forgotten about that I could now recall thanks to those potions. I rolled over and glanced at the half-asleep Seifer. I definitely didn't want to forget these new memories I was making. 

We both jolted when the loud announcement rang overhead telling us we were approaching the Trabian train station. We hastily fixed our hair and clothes, not wanting to look like we had been fooling around the entire train ride. We may have actually been napping, but my daddy would assume the worst. Neither Seifer nor I wanted that sort of first impression. 

I was impressed with Seifer, he had actually chosen to dress up a little for the first meeting. He didn’t have a large wardrobe to choose from, but he made do. He had chosen a pair of crisp black slacks and a deep red, long-sleeved thermal top. He wore his black with gray trim trench coat over that, the one I had bought him the week before. Of course, he had argued and I had insisted. It was cold in Trabia and Seifer didn’t really have much in the way of jackets and warm things. He had reluctantly accepted my gift after my logical explanation won him over. I was also dressed for Trabian weather, opting for a cream-colored long-sleeved knit top, a matching knit cap with cute glittery puffballs at the end of the strings hanging down, and knee-high brown boots with a gray skirt. 

Though Seifer probably expected it knowing I was adopted, my dad and I looked nothing alike. Despite knowing that fact, a strange look crossed Seifer’s face when I ran away from him once we stepped off of the train and launched myself into the arms of a very tall and scrawny man with light-brown skin. It was probably a bizarre scene for anyone who didn’t know us to see me; a very pale girl with chestnut hair and green eyes, hugging a tall, darker skinned, bald man and calling him daddy. People used to look at us pretty weirdly when I was growing up, but it didn't phase me in the slightest. He was my papa, even if it wasn't by blood.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy,” I sounded like a baby, but I didn't care. I missed this man so much. “Oh, I missed you!” I hugged him again and quickly pulled away, knowing introductions needed to be done. 

My father and Seifer stared at one another. They were both tall men, but my daddy won out by at least four inches. Seifer was expressionless and my father didn't hide the fact that he was sizing my boyfriend up. Seifer set down both of the suitcases he was holding, stuck out his hand, and then said in the most polite voice ever, “Hi, Mr. Tilmitt. It's nice to meet you.” 

My father cocked his head slightly and I could tell he hadn't been expecting that level of courtesy. Score one point for Seify! Daddy shook Seifer’s hand, “Pleasure to meet you. Seifer, is it?”

“Yes, dad,” I said, moving to Seifer’s side and taking his arm. “Seifer, this is my daddy, Lan Tilmitt! It's short for Landon, but no one ever calls him that.”

“Selphie spoke very highly of you over the phone when she told us about this trip,” my father said slowly, still eyeing Seifer suspiciously. “My wife and I are very curious about the boy who has our daughter so giddy. I consider myself pretty lucky that she hasn't brought any boys home yet. This will be interesting.”

“Heck, daddy, you don't have to say it like that! Sounds like Seifer is some sort of experiment,” I whined, not wanting anything to be super weird or awkward. My parents had promised not to be embarrassing. 

“Selphie, as your father, I do have the right to know more about my rival for the number one spot in your heart,” he replied lightheartedly, but I didn't like what he was getting. There was going to be a lot of grilling Seifer tonight, I could feel it. I sighed loudly and squeezed Seifer’s hand. Letting go, I reached out to grab my suitcase, but Seifer picked them both up before I could. The gesture was a win for more points with my dad, I could see the satisfaction in his eyes. Biting my tongue, the three of us left the train station and headed for the parking lot. 

Daddy told us that my mother was cooking supper, my childhood favorites -- honey-glazed prawns, spinach and cashew salad with Trabian spice dressing, and mashed potatoes. For dessert, my mom had ice cream and chocolate syrup ready to go. It had been so long since I had eaten my mom’s cooking. She had once been a chef before becoming a geography and history teacher and those skills had never truly left her. I excitedly told Seifer all about how great my mom's cooking was and he expressed genuine interest. More points for Seifer in my dad's book. Seifer kept referring to him as ‘Mr. Tilmitt’ too, which my daddy seemed pretty smug about. 

The city of Trabia was about a ten minute drive from the nearly finished Trabia Garden. I could see it in the distance as we drove through town. My heart sunk and ached as I stared at it’s new form. It looked so pretty and so did the town. A lot of things were still under construction, but everything looked really awesome and new. The city was like a much classier and homely looking Balamb. There were little shops with hand-painted signs, quaint houses all in shades of white or gray, and there were trees everywhere. I liked that they hadn't ended up cutting everything down. My face was practically glued to the car window as I took in the view. Before, we had lived on Garden grounds since my mom taught there. Our home had been a two-bedroom townhouse that connected to the house of a boy I'd had a crush on. The townhouses hadn't been very spacious, but I'd always loved being a part of Trabia Garden. It was sort of weird seeing my parents’ new neighborhood. There were no SeeD wandering around, no school flags, no class bells. 

My parents house was a bit bigger than our old townhouse. It was an off-white color with only a strip of grass for a front yard. All of the houses were sort of crammed together in a line, but there was something cozy about it. There was a dream catcher hanging from the door, I recognized my mom's handiwork. My stomach was flopping with anxiety to see my mom and for the both of them to love Seifer.

My mom opened the door as I stepped out of my dad's car. Seifer had done the gentlemanly thing and gotten both of our suitcases out from the trunk. The second I saw my mother's face, I started squealing and she did the same. We met in the middle, both happily bouncing and hugging. Mom and I were also very different in appearance, though it wasn't as drastic as daddy and I. She was closer to my height, but had a very shapely figure that I had always been jealous of. My mama had humongous knockers and wide hips, long graying hair that she usually kept braided. Her eyes were brown and her skin tanned, but not dark. She had thick eyelashes that I had also always been jealous of. My mama was beautiful, even at nearly sixty years old. Our habits were similar, we both got insanely high-pitched and bouncy when we were excited and I could see the cogs turning in Seifer’s head. I could almost hear what he was thinking -- ‘Oh Hyne, they're the same person.’

“Mama, mama!” I said in a much more normal frequency. One of their neighbors had come out to see what all of the racquet was, but my dad gave him an apologetic smile and waved him off. I grabbed Seifer’s arm, “This is Seifer. Seifer, this is my mother, Maria.”

“Ooh, handsome,” my mother said without batting an eye. “Didn't know you developed a thing for blondes. All of your childhood crushes had dark features.”

I grimaced, “Mom, please.”

She laughed, almost more like a cackle before smiling warmly at Seifer, “Welcome to our home, Seifer. It is nice to meet you.”

Seifer shook her head and thanked her for letting him come along. Everyone was playing nice so far, which was a great sign. My parents were doing their best not to be jerks about his past and I deeply appreciated it. I could tell that my dad wasn’t thrilled with any of this by the sidelong, suspicious glances he kept throwing Seifer’s way. I suppose I could not fault either of them for feeling apprehensive. It was most likely very alarming for any parent to hear their child was in a relationship with a known bad boy. Seifer was doing an excellent job trying to appease my parents though. He was on his best behavior. 

We toured the house. It was three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and very cozy. My room was definitely plain, but the walls were yellow and the bedspread polka dotted. I put my suitcase in there and Seifer’s in the other spare room. They had also gotten a cat! A chubby tabby who my mom had named Mr. Whiskers. The cat had barely acknowledged me and continued sleeping on top of a bookcase. Much to my disappointment, there were childhood photos in the living room of me in horribly tacky and bright outfits with messy hair and cheesy smiles with too much teeth. Not many pictures, but enough to make me cringe, though I liked the one on the mantle above the fireplace of the three of us. It had been taken when I was fifteen and I was wearing my Trabia Garden uniform, beaming brightly as my parents hugged me. My mom remarked that she was lucky that a few things had been salvaged from their ruined home in Garden. Seifer had looked away and grit his teeth once that had been brought up. 

A small table in the kitchen had been set for four people. Seifer and I took seats together on one side, while my parents sat on the other. My mom served us and refused my help. The smell of the food made my mouth water. It looked as amazing as I remembered. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Tilmitt,” Seifer had said quietly, making my mother smile.

“You're welcome. You can call me Maria, if you'd like,” she sat down beside my dad and looked between the two of us. “So, Seifer, Selphie says you two were at the orphanage together.”

Seifer nodded and took a drink of water, “Yes, we were.”

“That's quite the love story,” my mom sighed dramatically. “Meeting as children and getting together as adults. It's like a romance novel!”

“Mother, please,” I said, swallowing a bite of delicious prawn sweetness. It was even better than I remembered. I liked Olga in the cafeteria and the fancy restaurants in Deling, but no one could compare to my mama when it came to food. 

Daddy was silent, I could tell he was doing some deep thinking. He ate slowly, watching Seifer carefully as my mother continued asking questions and stirring up conversation in between bites. When there was a moment of silence, my father cleared his throat and set down his fork, “I suppose there's no hiding that we have heard and read things about you, Seifer. Selphie has said great things and I trust my daughter implicitly. I know she's smart. I'm just curious to hear in your own words what exactly happened with the Sorceress controlling you.”

I cringed and let out an indignant huff. Really? First thing? Hyne, Seifer was going to be fleeing back to Balamb before the first night with my parents was over at this rate. I gave my father a scathing look and opened my mouth to complain, but Seifer stopped me.

An argument was what I expected to occur. Seifer was usually quick to anger and easy to provoke. He hated getting questioned and definitely hated judgment. It said a lot about Seifer’s feelings for me when he started telling my dad the whole story in a calm, though slightly pained tone. It was even more impressive that Seifer withheld from swearing the whole time. This subject was a touchy one, Seifer didn’t like reflecting on his weakness when Sorceress Edea needed a knight and how many people he had wronged and gotten killed. But, to my surprise, he filtered little and my parents seemed very shocked by the bluntness and detail. Seifer told them everything from how he had been a ‘cocky brat with something to prove’ to how he had been stupid enough to get arrested in Balamb city and lost his two best friends. That reminded me I still needed to try to track Raijin and Fujin down. Seifer didn’t stop there though, touching over his trial and stay at the Memorial before telling them about me picking him up after it was decided he would be released. It made my heart swell to hear my boyfriend talk about his feelings develop for me over the time we spent together after the pickup. My mother seemed quite touched when Seifer talked about how panicked he was when I'd gotten hurt in Timber and how he didn’t want to lose the only person eager to give him a second chance. He ended his speech with a quick apology for not being what a parent would want for their daughter, but told them I was making him a better person everyday. 

There was a long silence as my mother and father took everything in. I touched Seifer’s shoulder and gave him a slightly watery smile that I hoped he knew meant thank you. Finally, my father spoke again, “Thank you for reliving that one last time for me. Much clarity has been provided on this matter. You are quite right, a former prisoner and enemy of the country isn't what I had in mind for my Selphie. She is very important to Maria and I and I hope you can forgive an old man for being cautious and concerned. I can tell you care for my daughter, otherwise you wouldn't have tolerated my question. I won’t pretend that this was what I wanted for her, but I will accept her decision.”

That was pretty much a reluctant acceptance in a very roundabout manner from my dad. I wanted to roll my eyes, yell at him, and then give Seifer a big ol’ smooch, but I did none of those. Instead, I ate my last prawn and frowned at my nearly empty plate. I hoped this wouldn’t make the rest of our trip awkward. Stupid daddy and his decision to be a butthead. My mother took our plates once we were finished and I yawned. My dad suggested we head to bed early, since we had spent most of our day traveling. I nodded and asked to be excused from the table, to which my father nodded. Seifer and I rose from the table and I walked around to give my father a big hug, whispering in his ear that I was a little mad at him for that question. My father smiled wistfully at me before patting my back and kissing my cheek. I tackled my mom from behind after she had put all of the dishes in the sink and hugged her tight. Seifer and I retreated down the hall to get ready for bed... in our separate rooms. I slunk into his room to say goodnight.

“Sorry you had to deal with my dad being a jerk,” I sighed deeply, sitting down on the bed. 

Seifer sat down beside me and shrugged, “I expected something like that. Kinda ticked me off though. I hope I did enough to appease them.” He turned his head toward me, “You think I said too much?”

“Maybe.” It was easier to be honest about it. He probably didn’t need to go into that much detail about everything, but it certainly did illuminate the situation for my parents, who had only heard things secondhand mostly. “But, too much info is better than not enough. I think it will be okay, really,” I gave him my best reassuring grin and kissed his cheek a few times.

“I just want them to be okay with us. They don’t have to like me,” Seifer muttered stiffly.

“They will be, it’s not like I will give ‘em much choice,” I said mischievously. I stood up and stretched, “I should go though. Bummer we can’t snuggle up together, buuuut, first things first right? Gotta get ‘em used to you being around, teehee.” I planted a few more kisses on his forehead and then one more on his lips, “Night, night. I’ll come check on you in the morning.”

We spent a couple of days wandering around the still expanding city with my parents, letting them show us all of their new favorite places to go and see. Everything was soooo new and exciting! We popped in and out of shops and on the third day, we stopped in a small park to take some pictures. Seifer didn’t seem thrilled at the idea of taking pictures with me and my family, but he went along with it. My dad snapped picture after picture, trying to make up for all of the ones that had been lost in the explosion. My mom and I did pose after pose, goofing off and laughing together like old times. They also took a bunch of Seifer and I, which I thought was a good sign. 

After our impromptu photo shoot, my parents treated us to dinner. I had argued over them buying, but my father insisted. He said it wasn’t often he got to see me or spoil me anymore, so he had to take opportunities when he could. I couldn’t argue with that logic, so I left it alone. We went to a pasta place, my mom swore up and down that it was really good. If it tasted anything like it smelled, then I believed her. It was a casual sort of place, not anything fancy like in Deling City or even Winhill, but it was quaint and homely. We sat down in a booth together, my parents on one side and Seifer and I on the other. My mother and I chatted nonstop, barely letting daddy or Seifer get a word in edgewise. 

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, but I noticed a few people staring at us uncomfortably. One was straight up glaring. With a chill running down my spine, I knew they recognized Seifer. His picture had been in the papers when he had first gotten arrested, so it didn’t surprise me that someone recognized him. I straightened up and put a hand on Seifer’s arm, trying to ignore the disgusted look. No confrontation occurred as we ate our meals and continued our conversation, but as we left I heard someone behind us say, “What a scumbag, coming up here. Mind-control my arse.” Seifer had stiffened, freezing on the spot. He had been halfway to turning around to address the individual when I grabbed his elbow and said firmly, “No. We’re leaving. It’s not worth it.”

Seifer’s mood was sour that night and no matter what I said in an attempt to cheer him, he kept on grumping. I gave up and let him be. Our fifth day there, I had planned for us to visit Trabia Garden. My daddy had to work and my mom had a few errands to run, so they were gone before Seifer and I even woke up. I let Seifer sleep in while I showered and dressed for the day, trying not to feel a bit of dread about encountering my former classmates. I had expected more of them to transfer to Balamb, but it wasn’t necessary now that Galbadia and Trabia were offering their own field exams and advanced training. At first, I had kept in contact with a lot of them, but as I got more involved in defeating evil Sorceresses and rescuing Rinny, things got complicated and I was harder to get ahold of. Guilt tore me up inside to the point where I almost didn’t want to go, but I knew that was the cowardice speaking. Everything would be fine and if it was awkward because of my failure to keep in contact or because I was bringing Seifer Almasy, then we’d just take off and spend more time with my parents. It was going to be fine, right? Right. No matter how many times I told myself that, it didn’t seem to stick.

Seifer was stirring when I tiptoed into his room. He didn’t like me saying it, but I really thought he looked adorable when he was sleepy. I smiled at him as he yawned and slowly sat up. Giggling at his cute bedhead, I perched at the end of the bed, “Morning, Seify.”

“Morning,” he slurred drowsily, blinking a few times and yawning again. “We’re going to your Garden today right?” A look of dread crossed his face.

“Yeaaaahh,” I frowned and tilted my head at him. “It’s gonna be okay, Seifer. I’m a little nervous too, everyone is probably super duper mad at me for not coming back in forever or keeping in contact. If it gets weird, we can just take off and do something else okay?”

Seifer nodded, but didn’t look convinced. He groaned and swung his legs over the side of the bed, resting his head in his hands, “I slept like shit last night. Couldn’t stop thinking...”

“I’m sorry,” I replied quietly, scooting closer to him. “Wanna talk about it?”

“No,” he replied curtly, still covering his face. “I’m fine.”

Though I didn’t buy that for a second, I chose not to question him. I stood up and stretched, hearing a soft crack in my shoulders. I hovered in the doorway a moment. It hurt me a bit to see him so distraught, but I stood quietly and watched him for a few. After a couple of minutes, I finally spoke up, “Well, you should probably go hit the shower soon.” Seifer stood up suddenly and crossed the room in a couple of long strides. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tightly into his chest. I felt his lips graze the top of my head and I smiled into his shirt. 

“Hmmm,” I sighed in delight and squeezed him tight. My small stature felt so much more exaggerated when I was in Seifer’s embrace. It made me feel protected and warm. I could have stayed there forever. “I like it when you get all cuddly,” I smirked and pulled away to look up at him. 

Seifer brought a hand up to cup my chin and kissed me. I reciprocated. We hadn’t been very smoochy or touchy with one another since we had gotten to my parents house and I was missing it. Since they were gone, well... I felt guilty but I rolled with it, raking my nails up his bare arms. Seifer quickly reached for the front of my jeans, unbuttoning them in one quick movement before thrusting a hand down them. He instantly rubbed at my clit with his index finger, making my knees go weak for a second. I gripped onto his arms hard, giving him a dirty look that said plainly -- This is so wrong, but holy Hyne, don’t stop. 

My whimpers were soft and controlled as he brought me over the edge with his swift handiwork. It wasn’t enough, I needed more. Tackling Seifer with all of my might, I shoved him back toward the bed and pounced on him. I straddled him as he sat on the edge of the bed, kissing his lips roughly and running my hands through his hair. His hands were making their way up my shirt, squeezing softly while I brought my lips to his neck. When I bit down, Seifer gave a quiet grunt and moved to pull my jeans down. Helping him get them off me, I continued to nibble down his neck as my hands made their way to his nethers. Before I could start to tug at his own pants, Seifer grabbed me by the waist and flipped me onto my back, setting me down on the pillow. He quickly undressed and settled himself between my legs. The look in his eyes was hungry and needy, Seifer wasted no time sliding inside of me. It was quick and rough, he thrust into me hard and deep. It was insanely attractive and drove me crazy in a good way. I could barely control my cries as he plowed me, making my head smack the wall. We were both panting like mad once he finished and I lay there for a minute with a dumb smile on my face.

“Holy moly, Seify,” I breathed out and slowly propped myself up. “I’m going to be sore after that. A good sore, mind you.”

Seifer kissed my head and got off the bed, “I’m glad it was as good for you as it was me. I’ll hit that shower now.”

Once we were both ready to go, we started our walk to Garden. I had my weapon with me, knowing that there used to be an occasional Ruby Dragon spotting in this area. Seifer had grabbed his gunblade after seeing me with nunchaku in hand. I started to tell him he didn’t need to, but he gave me a sharp look and muttered, “I’m not letting you fight anything by yourself, no matter what SeeD rank you are.” I didn’t argue.

The walk to Trabia Garden was about thirty minutes, but we didn’t encounter a single monster and it was actually pretty nice out. I pointed out little things about the area that I figured Seifer wouldn’t know and he laughed politely at all of my random knowledge and trivia. When we got to the large gates, we were stopped by a pair of guards. I provided my SeeD I.D. smiling sweetly and held my breath as they checked Seifer’s cadet I.D. I watched their faces contort into rage and prepared myself for an argument. 

“What brings you to Trabia Garden? Come to see your handiwork?” the smaller guard sneered.

“It wasn’t entirely his fault, he’s not to blame!” I interjected sharply, stepping in front of Seifer with my hands on my hips. “I am a former student of this Garden and we want to tour and see the new look. There’s nothing fishy going on. You have no legitimate reason to deny us entrance. If you’d like to verify our status with Balamb’s Headmaster, be my guest.” I stared them down, daring them to call Squall. I wasn’t going to let them refuse Seifer entrance. Their reason for it was not entirely unjust, but I wasn’t having it. I doubted they would refuse Edea Kramer if she came requesting access and she had just as much of a hand in Trabia's demise as Seifer had. 

The two guards stepped away and conferred a moment before coming to a decision. They allowed us access, but reminded us that any funny busy would get us detained and imprisoned by the Trabian military. I agreed and ushered Seifer through the gates, both of us donning visitor’s stickers on our chests. 

The nearly-complete Garden was exquisite and shiny. The buildings were new and clean, trees had been planted in little planters along the outdoor walkways. The entire Garden was surrounded by a tall, stone wall just as it had before, but this looked much nicer. There were murals of students battling monsters and other cheerful designs decorating the stones that had once been plain. It made me happy to see all of the colors and cheer, and the people wandering around in the black and purple uniforms of my former home. Trabia Garden was smaller than Balamb, but they had definitely expanded on it. The classrooms now spread across further, in three long rows. There was a massive courtyard with a new fountain before the area that led to the dormitories. We were denied access to that area, as it was not appropriate for non-Trabian’s to be wandering about there. I didn’t question it and headed toward the area where I suspected the Quad was. What they had done to it made me squeal aloud. It was grassy, with little benches lined up almost like pews in front of the massive stage. I had spent so much time out here planning festivals and watching movies. We used to sit on the cement, on top of thick blankets and tried to get as close to the giant warming lamps as we could get. The Quad still had warming lamps, but these new ones were much larger, more powerful, and set up in more ideal spots around the area. I suspected it would be very cozy out here now. Beyond the Quad was the basketball court and the newly added training center. It wasn’t as high-tech as Balamb’s, it was more like a large walled off area that students could practice in against hologram monsters or spar each other. I tried to get inside so we could check it out more, but the attendant declined us as they were still finishing things up. Sighing, we headed to the graveyard. Trabia had always been sort of morbid in that respect. Former students or teachers who had passed on were buried here, dating back to the beginning of Trabia Garden’s existence. Of course, many more had been added since the explosion, including some of my friends. Seifer was patient as I went to each of their graves and said something nice about them or told Seifer a funny story that happened with them. My heart was heavy as we left.

On our way out of the graveyard, I saw the familiar face of Auri Prentiss hurrying along the path out toward the Quad. Without hesitating, I shouted her name and took off running toward her. She had cut her hair, I noticed as I got her attention. It was short and tomboyish, very cute. Auri looked taken aback to see me and also a little upset. 

“Auri!” I said cheerfully, tackling her into a hug. “Hiya!”

“Selphie,” she said weakly, smoothing down her skirt as I let go of her. “What are you doing here?”

“Visiting,” I told her as Seifer caught up to me. He lingered behind me and I watched Auri’s pale blue eyes narrow sharply at him. Nervously, I brought Seifer forward and took his hand in mine,“Oh, uhm, this is--”

Auri cut me off with a wave of her hand, “I know who he is. Why are you here?”

My face fell, “I’m just visiting, Auri. I finally got some time off and wanted to see Trabia. I’m really sorry I couldn’t come back before now. I... really missed this place. And you.”

Auri’s expression softened, but she retained her hard tone, “I missed you too, Selph, but it’s been a long time. You kept promising to come back and help us rebuild... I just assumed you would never come back. And now you’ve brought him with you? I just... don’t understand what you’re trying to do.”

I swallowed and tried to think of a good way to justify myself. There wasn’t much I could say to make this right. I had been a terrible friend to her and to Trabia. I hung my head and clasped my hands together, “Auri... I know I have no good excuse for my actions. I got overwhelmed and bogged down by my responsibilities in Balamb. I kept thinking I could make time and everything would be alright! But... I couldn’t and I’m sorry. It doesn’t make this any better, but you and everyone here are always in my thoughts. And Seifer--”

“I wish no ill will against you or the citizens of Trabia,” Seifer interjected, staring at Auri from his place beside me. “What I helped cause haunts me every day, even if I had little control over my actions. I would have gladly avoided this place for the rest of my life... but, I’m here for Selphie... and I’m here to apologize. It won’t bring back the dead or make things right, I know, but I am... sorry.”

My mouth almost dropped at the sincerity. Seifer was doing a lot of impressing me this week. I squeezed his hand and smiled supportively at him. I hoped Auri could tell how difficult it was for Seifer to admit that or acknowledge it. 

“You’re right, your apologies don’t mean much, but I suppose I can appreciate you having the gall to come face the people you wronged,” Auri replied sharply. Her blue eyes met my green ones and I could see pity in them, “I hope you know what you’re doing. I... still adore you, Selph, but I’m a little mad. I needed you, y’know.”

Her words killed me inside. “I know, Auri,” I sighed and fiddled with my necklace. “I’m a bad friend and I will apologize for the rest of my life if you want me to. I know my promises probably don’t mean much anymore, but I plan on making a conscious, better effort to come back here. This was my home for so long. I love it here. I miss you and my parents all the time. I mean it, I really want to come back more.”

“I hope so, Selphie.”

Auri was reluctant, but I could tell she was warming up to me a bit. She had always been a firmer girl than I; quicker to anger and easy to annoy. Auri and Quistis were kind of similar in some ways, except Auri was more quiet and secretly raged at things, and wouldn’t touch alcohol with a ten-foot pole. Mr. Prentiss had been an alcoholic and had died after drunkenly wandering out into a blizzard. I forced a smile onto my face, “So, you’re an official Trabian SeeD now right?”

“I am,” Auri said a little haughtily. “I was the second one to make it because Dove Thackeray finished his mission thirty seconds before I did. It was rough, we had to do work for Centra.... Uhm, but I can’t talk too much about it. Sorry.”

“I totally understand!” I nodded my head. Even though the Garden’s were all allies, there was still much we couldn’t share. Intel was important and we had to keep certain things quiet. We weren’t allowed to talk about our field missions, or any missions at all, to other Gardens unless given specific authorization. I was super proud of Auri for becoming Trabia’s second SeeD ever! That was an awesome achievement. “I hope we get to work together sometime.”

“Me too,” Auri agreed and glanced at her watch. “I’m sorry, Selphie. I actually have a debriefing in fifteen minutes with the Headmaster. How long are you in Trabia for?”

“We leave on the 16th,” I replied, hopeful that she might want to meet with me again.

Auri nodded, “Staying with your parents?” 

“Yep! Their new house is really nice.”

“It is, my mom and I stopped by a couple of months ago. My mom’s living in the apartments a few blocks from where your parents are. I’m visiting her in a few days, so maybe I’ll stop by and see you,” Auri was pretty non-committal about it, but that was okay. It was better than her completely shunning me. 

“Yeah! Okay!” I agreed hurriedly. “Well, good luck and have fun all that, Auri. Seifer and I are going to walk around some more before we head back. It was really great seeing you.” Without waiting for her to reply, I hugged her tight.

Auri hugged me back and whispered in my ear, “How can you date him... knowing what he did? I think that’s what upsets me the most about all of this.”

My heart fell and I pulled away, giving her a sad look. I swallowed hard and said in a low voice, “He’s not a bad guy, Auri. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Seifer’s really important to me.” I knew I sounded desperate and I could tell Auri noticed. She nodded once and bit her lip, looking unsure what to say. She smiled awkwardly at the both of us and waved before stalking off in a hurry.

“Weeeeeeell, bummer,” I said with a sigh and a frown.

Seifer placed a hand on the small of my back as we watched Auri hurry off to her meeting, “Sorry that didn’t go as well as you wanted.” 

“It’s fine, don’t blame yourself,” I replied instantly, knowing by the tone of his voice what he was thinking. “Auri’s just stubborn. It’ll be okay. Want to finish up and head out?”

We left Trabia a little while later, only bumping into one other person I knew; a former teacher. Instructor Mao didn’t recognize Seifer, which was just fine. He had been one of my favorite teachers here at Trabia and I was glad to see him doing well. The man was old and needed to retire, but was very tenacious and didn’t let age hold him. He had been a magic history instructor, who had a very deep hatred for Guardian Forces. Despite that, he and I had gotten along very well. Instructor Mao had always liked my cheery nature and eagerness to learn. He wished us well and tottered off with his cane back to his classroom.


End file.
